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I'm Stuck In A Christian Rut


LosingMyReligion
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For the first time I've just really noticed that every vestige of my life is entrenched in Christianity.

 

I stopped going to church over a year ago; however, the people I've surrounded myself with are all christian: family, friends, and even new aquaintances.

 

Ironically, I did all of this to myself. When I was still trying to hang onto Christianity I thought, "Hmmm, perhaps I can stop backsliding if I hang around christians?" That worked for a few minutes but now I've decided that Christianity is not the thing for me...

 

I goto a socalled "secular" college; however, the majority of the faculty, staff, and students are Christians. Hell, most of them: smoke weed, club hop, have promiscous extra-marital sex, curse, and shop lift...But they still label themselves "Christians." I, on the other hand, am the complete antithesis of these people, but I just have enough integrity to not act all sanctimonious and self righteous. They talk down about gay people(I happen to be gay), but lead socalled "sinful" lifestyles while going to church...It is so ridiculous.

On campus are all of these christian groups...A town cryer(the guy, literally, every morning, stands on the water fountain outside spewing bible scriptures)...AND regular concerts for famous gospel choirs.

Yesterday, for instance, I went to my guidance counselor. I am having trouble with a certain professor, and her ultimate advice was, "Just be faithful and pray about it..."

If I had a nickel for everytime someone said that I would be so rich I wouldn't need a damn education...

 

Also, I am making new friends and OF COURSE all of them are into Christianity...**sigh**. I have to sit and listen to them testify about what the lord has done for them...And how they get together and goto church functions and etc. Most of them seem like Christians because it was what their parents told them to do...

There is this one guy I hang out with that I sorta had a crush on. He is quite obviously gay, but because of his background(fundie) he is struggling with it. He basically all but told me he was gay, but said that he was praying about it and that god would change it. Yeah, I believed that too...Didn't happen. Anyway, I am sorta not as infatuated with him anymore because he uses every moment to "testify." I'm like, "Dude, shut the hell up already....I get it."

Coincidentally, yesterday, he cursed his friend out because she had the audacity to ask him for her money back(she lent him 15 bucks). I mean he seriously called her every expletive in the book...And then said that, "Sometimes I'm weak but god will forgive me."

 

I'm no longer a Christian and I have better self control than that...

 

Furthermore, right now, I still live at home with my mom. That is a whole other can of worms. I decided to move back home while I finish my last year of school...It has been less expensive to live at home and attend an in state college...However, my mom will remain a fundamentalist until she passes away...Of course I no longer agree. Primarily because 1.) I'm gay and not out to anyone except two people (2.) I no longer agree with the bible which is a direct extension of number one...All my mom does is watch TBN all day long. I really hate that station...It is basically a hate station under the guise of "Jesus Loves you...but you'll rot in hell and gnash your teeth if you don't accept him."

My mom seems to be getting a bit more open minded in regards to gay people and sexism in the bible. However, it seems like we have less to talk about now.

 

In a nutshell I feel trapped, and it was by my design when I was a Christian.

I'm thinking of relocating to another state when I get out of school...But I don't know the first thing about how to do it.

 

Has anyone been in this godawful(pun intended)predicament? :scratch:

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Yes, most of my family members are Christian and friends are also Christian. However, I do have a few non-Christian friends in RL. Try joining social organizations that aren't associated with your college to meet people from different backgrounds.

 

Relocating to another city or state would probably help. Look for jobs online when you are close to graduating or try getting an internship in another state; many online job sites have relocation tools.

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Yes, most of my family members are Christian and friends are also Christian. However, I do have a few non-Christian friends in RL. Try joining social organizations that aren't associated with your college to meet people from different backgrounds.

 

Relocating to another city or state would probably help. Look for jobs online when you are close to graduating or try getting an internship in another state; many online job sites have relocation tools.

 

I'm going to try that, meeting others who don't necessarily agree with Christianity. I'm just tired of getting involved with people who, at the drop of a hat, feel this insastiable need to testify all the time.

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Finding a different social outlet will help. Find something you enjoy doing or try something new. Moving may be good or bad. If you decide to move, find an area of the country you really want to explore. An example would be moving closer to the mountains if you enjoy skiing or near the coast for scuba diving or sailing, you get the idea. Don't blindly move with out a purpose or goal.

 

I can sympathize with your plight of having only christain friends. I'm in the a similar boat, being married to a fundy. I get passive resistance every time I try to find a social outlet that does not involve a christian based group.

 

Good luck to you, stick to your guns.

 

My .02 cents worth

 

lothar

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I had the same problem with being a Christian and then later as a teenager realizing that I was probably gay. And it became very clear to me that Christianity and being gay were not compatible, most Christians have the compassion and love of a pit viper when it comes to gay people. All I can say is good riddance, I am glad I got out of Christianity without sustaining major brain damage.

 

I am not sure where you live, but I think it definitely helps to live in an area which is a little more socially diverse, especially if you live an an area which is predominately white, Christian and conservative. I guess when you live in a homogeneous Stepford Wives-like community like that the people are going to get bored and go on witch hunts from time to time, and gays are an easy target. Who needs the headaches :shrug:

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Welcome to the board, LMR!

 

I sort of feel like that, sort of. Most of the people I know are Xians, but most of them are only moderately so. My folks for example barely practice it, though they do believe in it, and really can't be bothered with doing religious things besides some personal prayers said privately. A few friends are heavily into Xianity and are all about Jesus™ doing this and that for them and whatever, all about hell and salvation, and all that crap. Basically, though, I don't get much flack, though I haven't told but a few so far.

 

Things will go well for me, and for you, too. You're young yet, but in time you'll be able to afford to live on your own and will grow stronger as an individual. Just hang in there and stay strong :)

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Welcome LMR,

 

Indeed that to me is the hardest thing about most Christians coming to their senses. They're former lives are completely entrenched & surrounded by Christian life that it makes leaving excessively difficult, and almost impossible in some cases.

 

I know people who still "believe" just because they're too afraid to face the consequences of leaving the fold & their social network.

 

So more power to you for making it out.

 

The hardest part is re-establishing a new network with more like minded, open minded individuals around you.

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Welcome LMR,

 

Indeed that to me is the hardest thing about most Christians coming to their senses. They're former lives are completely entrenched & surrounded by Christian life that it makes leaving excessively difficult, and almost impossible in some cases.

 

I know people who still "believe" just because they're too afraid to face the consequences of leaving the fold & their social network.

 

Yeah, my parents are like that. They're afraid to lose their church friends and also of what their respective families might think, so they fake it in church and act normal at home. I used to be like that, so I understand, but I think it's sad.

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It's funny, but I'm now feeling like I'm stuck in a Christian rut, too. Most of the people in the writer's critique group I go to are Christian. Not all, but most. I'm surrounded by Christians at work who talk about their religion at least once a week. My entire family is Christian, though some are fundier than others. A lot of my friends are, but a few aren't. I tend to see the ones who aren't religious more often.

 

I guess I just get so tired of constantly being surrounded by people who believe in a 2,000 year-old myth and expect everyone else to believe in it, too. They may not all be fire & brimstone types, but it does get annoying sometimes.

 

Maybe it's just that general feeling of not fitting in that is annoying. When I was Christian, most of my friends were non-Christian. When I'm agnostic, it's the opposite. It seems like no matter where I go, except in a few places online, I don't feel like I fit in. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.

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That's kinda how things are for me during the summer between semesters. Most of my friends in town (read: all of my high school friends) are pretty solid Christians. And, of course, my family is heavily Christian. Combine that with 5 days a week menial labor working the usual summer job kind of place, and my summers tend to suck.

 

Here at school, though, things aren't so bad. All of my friends are either non-Christian or tolerant of other religions (as long as you aren't just being a stupid nub-tard, anyway).

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That's kinda how things are for me during the summer between semesters. Most of my friends in town (read: all of my high school friends) are pretty solid Christians. And, of course, my family is heavily Christian. Combine that with 5 days a week menial labor working the usual summer job kind of place, and my summers tend to suck.

 

Here at school, though, things aren't so bad. All of my friends are either non-Christian or tolerant of other religions (as long as you aren't just being a stupid nub-tard, anyway).

 

 

That is how it is for me...But multiply that by winters and summers(lol)

 

Anyway, thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. Sometimes I feel Isolated...I am completely DIFFERENT from my family and the people in my life.

 

I no longer consider myself a Christian and I'm not straight. Go figure I would be born to a moderately conservative christian fundamentalist background...lol. The only thing I have in common with my mom is that we both think George Bush sucks...Whereas all of my brothers voted for him.

 

Just crazy...

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