Metal was my guiding light...

[Guest BimmuDorgir]

Most of the testimonies of the people on this site are very deep and extraordinary. Mine is not so incredible. But, there is an interesting aspect to mine...at least, interesting to me. This interesting aspect (if you could not tell, by the title of this post), is that a form of music is what ultimately made me make my mind up about not believing. Of course, I did not simply decide not to believe because some band said "God sucks"...there is a lot more to it.

 

I like to compare my journey to non-belief to climbing a wall. On one side, you have Christianity (and/or any other religion - including the top of the wall), and on the other side, disbelief. The real hard-core fundies are the ones that have not even begun to climb the wall, whereas, the ones in which seeds of doubt have been sewn, are-a-climbin'. I've been climbin' for quite some time now. Probably since I was about 7 or 8 years old.

 

As a youngster, I was actually pretty smart...for my age, that is. I knew that there were other religions in the world, and that millions of people believed in them. So, naturally, I'd ask my elders what would become of them, but I don't remember ever getting a satisfactory answer. Some said they were going to hell, whereas some said that because they weren't taught about Christ, they would not be held accountable, which made me wish like hell I'd never been taught about Christ, for I hated going to church for I found it completely boring. But one thing, I believe, all of them told me was that I should not ask such things, because doubting God or questioning him would surely make God mad at me...and possibly land me a spot in a very hot place.

 

So, I tried to do what they said, little did I know that at most, all I could do was pretend to not acknowledge such thoughts/questions, which is what I did...all the way up until...

 

...I've always been interested in bands like Ozzy, and Metallica, but at about the age of 16 or so, I began craving more than just 10 or so albums of that type of music. So, I began to experiment. At 16, I also got my first job, and I was able to afford cds, which nicely complimented my thirst for new music to listen to (more specifically---heavy metal).

 

So, every two weeks, when I got my paycheck, I'd go waste all my money on cds at Best Buy, or Circuit City. Eventually, I started developing a taste for the extremely heavy stuff, like a genre of metal called "black metal" and "death metal".

 

As I experimented with these two new genres, I noticed that a lot of these bands really did not like Christianity...and were openly blasphemous. Don't get me wrong...I'm not sayint that they ALL are, but I'd say that at least 90% are...the other 10% or so are lyrically secular. But, I was convinced that my beliefs were rock-steady. I told everyone (mostly family memebers that thought this type of music was "satanic") that I had the capability to listen to these bands, and appreciate their phenomenal musical abilities, without necessarily agreeing with the themes/ideas expressed in the lyrics. You know, sort of like when you watch a movie with Thor in it...you can watch it...you can enjoy it...but you don't have to believe it, and/or agree with it. So...that's what I told everyone.

 

Well, time went by...and by the time I was about 19 or so, I got my first computer, and lo and behold...also at about this time (the year was 1999), Napster was making its debut! So, my metal collection began growing faster than ever before. This compounded my desire for metal music, which, in turn, caused it to exceed the amount of money I was getting paid...and to exceed the available selection that American distributors had of heavy metal (in case you did not know, heavy metal is far, far more popular world-wide than it is in the US...and thus is much more accessible in other countries...and it is not too easy to make a trip to the local record store...in Sweden, if you live in the US!).

 

As my desire grew, I began noticing a few things about the bands that played this music: 1) most of the band members were right about my age or so (between 17 and 25), 2) almost all of them (like I said earlier, about 90%) were very anti-Christian, and 3) when I looked at the lyrical content from the perspective of the non-believer, the lyrics were no more evil than Cher's lyrics (in fact, a lot of the lyrics were/are very humanitarian in nature). In other words, I began to notice that these kids were just like me...human. In fact, they were, in my opinion, better than me...they were kids that were doing something creative and constructive with their lives, unlike kids their age that are into smokeing mary j, and doing absolutely nothing with their lives, whilst leeching off their parents' wallets.

 

I think, also, that seeing their faces in the cd inlays also had a profound effect on me...for upon seeing them, they were all that much more real to me...not just some abstract idea.

 

So, I began to secretly admit to myself that I was just like them...I was human. They were no more deserving of hell than anyone else on the planet...including those people of other religions that I wondered about all my life. Well, now...I did not wonder. I knew. I knew that no one was going to hell.

 

I was about 19 when this revelation and many, many others began pouring in on me. Questions now came all the time...and instead of ignoring them, I let them fly! Questions like, "Is Hell just?" and "Is it possible that a god can 'want' anything at all?" just to name a couple.

 

...And that's it...that just about sums up my "incredible" journey. Like I said, I've been climbing the wall that devides belief and non-belief for almost as long as I can remember, but I did not have the courage to actually jump to the other side...

 

...until metal music kicked my ass over it to the other side!

 

In case you did not know, my screen name, "BimmuDorgir" comes from a metal band called "Dimmu Borgir"---this band actually had two songs on the Hell Boy sound-track, if you are interested in seeing what type of music I am interested in. And yes, Dimmu Borgir is a prime example of a band with an extreme distaste for Christianity! My guess is that most of the people did not know this, or are unfamiliar with this type of music, except for Slayer 2000.

 

This is my actual testimony. I posted another testimony way back in the testimony part of the website, but in it, I did not tell "the whole story". I avoided mentioning metal because I thought that it would lessen the overall seriousness of my story in most readers' eyes...because of a natural negative slant against metal music (perpetuated, of course, by Christiantiy). This is, though, "the whole story".

 

If the webmaster decides to post this one...great...if not...eh well...I don't want to hog all the lime-light.

[Merlinfmct87]

I fully understand what you mean about music guiding you out... for me it was Bowie, Brightman and NIN(I know, odd mix... bear with me).

 

Music has always been very powerful for me. I felt that, when done properly, it made people look at the world in a very different way... I treasure those moments.

 

Now I have to be honest with you... my experience with heavy metal has not been good at all. I know and like two heavy metal bands - AC/DC and some Bon Jovi. I heard Black Sabbath and Judas Priest off the Live Aid DVD... and couldn't have been more sickened. The fact that Neil Young was in between them couldn't have helped at all(I utterly despise that his work).

 

The songs I heard performed were:

 

Ozzy: 'Paranoid'

 

Judas Priest: 'Living After Midnight' and 'Green Manalishi.' Are those some of their best, or did I, in essence, 'see them at thier worst'?

 

It's not that I don't like edgy or angry music... NIN pretty much cured me of that... I just thought that Ozzy Ozbourne was sending a kid against the lies of the church with little more than a plastic slingshot for defense.

 

Obviously I was wrong.

 

So if you could tell me what songs you liked, I'd be very grateful.

 

Merlin

[Guest BimmuDorgir]

Well, personally, I prefer Ozzy's solo stuff (without Black Sabbath). I know that many people would consider this "metal blasphemy," but it's the truth. The Black Sabbath stuff, although good, just has too much of a 70s sound in my opinion. Now, as far as the album "Paranoid" goes, it is indeed a great album. This "Live Aid" album...if the songs are performed live, as the title suggests, then perhaps that is why. I've never really liked the live performances (on cd, that is) by Ozzy.

 

Now, as far as Judas Priest is concerned...the song "Living After Midnight" is from their much older stuff, which happens to be the more radio-accessible/playable stuff. My personal favorite albums are Painkiller and Angel Of Retribution. As far as a description of the style of these two albums is concerned: well, I'm sure you have heard of Metallica...and if you've heard anything off their latest 3 albums (4 if you include S&M), then I should tell you that these two albums by JP make these albums (my Metallica) sound like utter garbage. Now, as far as JP in comparison to *older* Metallica...well, they are both heavy metal, but the style is very different, so it makes it hard to pick a favorte (due to the fact that is simply depends on the mood I'm in)....JP is closer to something called "power metal"...which tends to have a smoother sound, and usually has 80s-type vocals...like the Scorpions, Skid Row, or Iron Maiden. Metallica, on the other hand is of a style called "thrash" which tends to be a lot less smooth...and typically has very a-tonal vocals.

 

Anywho...the Metallica bit may have been a bit off topic...

 

Bottom line is: you asked if you heard some of their worst songs...I would not say that they are the worst (for there are probably a million people that would disagree with me), but I would say that they are not my favorites. Now, I should mention that, yes, although it is true that the songs you mentioned are considered to be some of the most legendary metal songs ever (as far as the general world-wide radio-listeners are concerned), but I'm sure you know, as in the case with NIN that usually the band's best stuff never gains a radio-playable status, and world pretty much disregards anything that is not played on the radio. Also...these were metal songs when metal itself was still in its infancy, and (in my opinion) can't really even be compared to today's average metal bands.

 

Again, my faves by JP and Ozzy are:

 

Judas Priest: "Painkiller", "Angel Of Retribution"

 

Ozzy: "Ultimate Sin", "Ozzmosis", "No Rest For The Wicked"

[Brutal Brian]

Most of the testimonies of the people on this site are very deep and extraordinary.  Mine is not so incredible.  But, there is an interesting aspect to mine...at least, interesting to me.  This interesting aspect (if you could not tell, by the title of this post), is that a form of music is what ultimately made me make my mind up about not believing.  Of course, I did not simply decide not to believe because some band said "God sucks"...there is a lot more to it.

 

        In case you did not know, my screen name, "BimmuDorgir" comes from a metal band called "Dimmu Borgir"---this band actually had two songs on the Hell Boy sound-track, if you are interested in seeing what type of music I am interested in.  And yes, Dimmu Borgir is a prime example of a band with an extreme distaste for Christianity!  My guess is that most of the people did not know this, or are unfamiliar with this type of music, except for Slayer 2000.

 

  This is my actual testimony.  I posted another testimony way back in the testimony part of the website, but in it, I did not tell "the whole story".  I avoided mentioning metal because I thought that it would lessen the overall seriousness of my story in most readers' eyes...because of a natural negative slant against metal music (perpetuated, of course, by Christiantiy).  This is, though, "the whole story". 

 

  If the webmaster decides to post this one...great...if not...eh well...I don't want to hog all the lime-light.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Sounds very similar to mine HAHAHHA which I have reposted by the way. As I am also a huge fan of Dimmu...

 

They welcomed me with open arms here too. So I humbly welcome another fellow MetalHead to theseboards and expect to have some very good conversation.

 

P.S.- Click on my profile to get to My HomePage or my MySpace to check out my radio show...

[Guest BimmuDorgir]

Now, I should mention that, yes, although it is true that the songs you mentioned are considered to be some of the most legendary metal songs ever (as far as the general world-wide radio-listeners are concerned), but I'm sure you know, as in the case with NIN that usually the band's best stuff never gains a radio-playable status, and world pretty much disregards anything that is not played on the radio.

 

There seems to be a horrible grammatical error somewhere in there...so I shall try my best to fix it!

 

"Now, I should mention that, yes, although it is true that the songs you mentioned are considered to be some of the most legendary metal songs ever (as far as the average world-wide radio listeners are concerned), it's not always the case that band's best material gains radio-playable status, as you probably already know, considering you like NIN. Unfortunately, though, the world pretty much disregards anything that is not played on the radio."

 

Oh, and BrutalBrian...I, in fact, have also dabbled with radio...but not conventional radio...I had a ShoutCast station...but unfortunately, a few months ago, all my music as erased from my computer (app. 80 gigs), and now I am in the lengthy process of re-ripping them on my computer. I'm in the B-section (obviously, I have a long way to go).

 

Anywho...nice to meet ya. I guess I will check the main Ex-Christian page to see what new things the Webmaster has posted.

[Mr. Neil]

As I experimented with these two new genres, I noticed that a lot of these bands really did not like Christianity...and were openly blasphemous.  Don't get me wrong...I'm not sayint that they ALL are, but I'd say that at least 90% are...the other 10% or so are lyrically secular.

Actually, I've noticed quite the opposite. I'm a huge metal fan myself, but I can't help but notice how absolutely saturated heavy metal is with Christian references. Now mind you, when I say that there are a lot of Christian references in metal, I'm not talking about the annoying ones like Stryper. But what I've found is that your everage metal band will slip in a God reference here and there, and most of the satanic lyrics were in the minds of conservatives.

 

I never found Metallica very satanic at all. The first album had a few questionable songs, but they were pretty tame after that. The appropriately titled Creeping Death is literally right out of the Bible. Then they had their anti-war stage, and I lost interest after that. I don't even pay attention to them anymore, but the latest buzz floating around the metal rumor mill is that Hetfield "got saved".

 

Some bands can't seem to make up their minds. For example, Black Sabbath seesaws back and forth. The last couple of albums with Tony Martin on vocals were somewhat anti-religious, but they've had their Christian moments as well, especially with Ozzy on the mic. Ozzy is a big time Christian. No doubt in my mind. Ozzy albums are loaded with references to God and Jesus.

Buy the Black Sabbath album Master Of Reality and listen to the song After Forever, and tell me that's not patronizingly Christian. That song makes me want to vomit.

 

Rob Halford is another Jesus boy, which I can't for the life of me understand, because he's gay. There's a hidden track at the end of the first Fight album, War Of Words, which is EXTREMELY pro-religious, and you can still here little bits of it on later albums, like Resurrection. I mean, come on... he has an album titled Resurrection.

 

The most secular bands out there seem to be Motorhead and Iron Maiden. Motorhead actually has a few atheistic songs (i.e., Don't Need Religion, Bad Religion, etc.), and Iron Maiden doesn't sing about anything religious at all. They usually sing about movies, TV shows, and novels. No, I'm not making that up.

 

And then there's Dio, who sounds like he bases all of his songs on Dungeons and Dragons. +4 lyrical prowress.

[scitsofreaky]

With music it is all in how you interpret the lyrics. Most "christian" metal bands have lyrics that you can pretty much take what you want. I also go with the theory that you can just replace any reference with God with a reference to a woman (which works for me because I'm just a sap at heart).

[Wade]

I was listening to a song by Mushroomhead that hit home a with me a little while back ....it fit things perfectly with religion and me at the time....

 

lyrics ......

 

" You Left Your Mark Like A Hand Print

In Wet Cement To Make Sure These Regrets I Won't Forget

Media's Ventriloquist Anglo Saxon Evangelist

I Find It So Ridiculous The Fears That We Hold Dear "

[Brutal Brian]

I was listening to a song by Mushroomhead that hit home a with me a little while back ....it fit things perfectly with religion and me at the time....

 

lyrics ......

 

" You Left Your Mark Like A Hand Print

In Wet Cement To Make Sure These Regrets I Won't Forget

Media's Ventriloquist Anglo Saxon Evangelist

I Find It So Ridiculous The Fears That We Hold Dear "

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That reminds me of the lyrics to this song I have posted on the Radio Show section of my website. They are from an Irish Balck Metal band called Primordial off of their album Spirit the Earth Aflame and the song is called God to the Godless.

 

Here is the first part of the song:

 

"I have one Desire

let it be

a Pestilence upon your lands

a Plague upon all your houses

it is my wish

to Enslave all your people

The soil enriched with their Blood

To Burn your places of Worship

Our Gods shall become your Gods...."

Primordial, Gods to the Godless from Spirit the Earth Aflame

[Guest Peyton]

Funnily enough, the metal aspect has decided things for me too. With my recent stint back at church, the pastor told me that secular music is misguided and takes people away from God. As well as Chris Rea(!) he told me categorically that Heavy Metal was Satanic and that in time I would see that but do without Dio, Black Sabbath, Rainbow and Iron Maiden, I think not!

[michelle]

I like all kinds of music today but I remember being a metal head as a teenager.

The first album I ever bought was AC/DC's Back In Black. I can still hear my mother screaming, "Turn down those devil worshipers". She couldn't stand Hells Bells. I remember being an atheist even back then. My time spent in Christianity was only 5 yrs. Anyway, the first concert I ever seen at 14 yrs. old was Judas Preist. They came out on stage riding Harley Davidson's & playing guitars.

I lost touch with metal somewhere in my 20's, right about the time I became a Christian. I've got to go out and buy some Metallica or something. Thanks for your post, it brought back alot of memories.

[Brutal Brian]

As well as Chris Rea(!) he told me categorically that Heavy Metal was Satanic and that in time I would see that but do without Dio, Black Sabbath, Rainbow and Iron Maiden, I think not!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Funny you should mention Chris Rea, Peyton. I have just recently seen the video for "The Road to Hell" and I have made that song a regualr listen in my repertoire. And I can TOTALLY understand not being able to live without Dio, Sabbath, Maiden and Rainbow!!

 

 

Anyway, the first concert I ever seen at 14 yrs. old was Judas Preist. They came out on stage riding Harley Davidson's & playing guitars.

I lost touch with metal somewhere in my 20's, right about the time I became a Christian. I've got to go out and buy some Metallica or something. Thanks for your post, it brought back alot of memories.

 

Just saw Priest at last year's Ozzfest and they weren't anything special. I think Halford has destroyed the magic that that band once had. They did the motorcycles and all, but the set seemed REALLY BORING to me. Black Sabbath totally stole that show.

 

And sorry to go on the high and mighty, Michelle, but I can't stomach Metallica anymore. Ever since the sound change and the sell out maneuvers, ala the Napster and Fan Lawsuit incidents, their music leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I much prefer MEGADETH!!!

[Valgeir]

I totally recognized the Dimmu reference. Bigtime fan. Although I've been paying a lot more attention to technical stuff along the lines of Yngwie Malmsteen and Jason Becker recently, but fifty-fucking-ton heavy shit still has its place in my heart. Hell, I'm going to a Kreator show in a couple of weeks.

 

And Brian... Megadeth sold out too. Just in another way. Ever since Mustaine became "born again" everything he does is soaked in Jesus.

[Mr. Neil]

Just saw Priest at last year's Ozzfest and they weren't anything special. I think Halford has destroyed the magic that that band once had. They did the motorcycles and all, but the set seemed REALLY BORING to me. Black Sabbath totally stole that show.

My opinion of the Priest reunion is that it's great for Priest fans but lousy for Halford fans. I saw them live when Tim Owens was singing. They're definately better off with Halford.

 

But Halford isn't better off with Priest. Halford had a killer band when he was in Fight and again when he went solo with the Resurrection and Crucible albums. He released a live album in which his new band were playing classic Priest tunes that sounded more like Judas Priest than the real Judas Priest!

 

I saw Black Sabbath for the first few years of Ozzfest. I'm really, really disappointed with the reunion. They've done nothing productive aside from being the top bill at Ozzfest every year.

 

I'm going to get shot for this, but Ozzy is the second worst singer Black Sabbath ever had. The worst singer they ever had was Glenn Hughes, but that's a technicality. It wasn't that Glenn couldn't sing. He was just so coked up at the time that he couldn't do his job.

 

My problem with Ozzy is that he cannot actually sing. He sort of follows the melody of the song, but he never actually soared the way any of his replacements did. Tony Iommi actually commented that replacing Ozzy with Dio gave the band a lot more artistic freedom, because while Ozzy would sing along with the music, Dio sang across the music.

 

And at least with Tony Martin and Ronnie James Dio, Black Sabbath were putting out regular releases. And they were actually decent albums. I dare anyone to not crank Cross Purposes or Dehumanizer.

 

Now they don't do anything. They've been effectively demoted to "Ozzy's second band".

[Brutal Brian]

I totally recognized the Dimmu reference. Bigtime fan. Although I've been paying a lot more attention to technical stuff along the lines of Yngwie Malmsteen and Jason Becker recently, but fifty-fucking-ton heavy shit still has its place in my heart. Hell, I'm going to a Kreator show in a couple of weeks.

 

And Brian... Megadeth sold out too. Just in another way. Ever since Mustaine became "born again" everything he does is soaked in Jesus.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Ahh Kreator and how my cousin introduced me to them when I was 7 years old with the album Terrible Certainty....

 

As for Megadeth, I aqgree that they sopld out, but at least in my opinion, Megadeth still sounds like Megadeth, and the lyrics and commentary are still there. I don'

t like the last couple songs off the album for their religious themes, but the rest of it kills and I saw Megadeth in November, and they still fucking play like Megadeth. So....

I can still agree with you a little. He may be born again, but he still acts Metal \m/.

 

Also, if you guys want an idea of what kind of Metal I like, here are a couple of lists:

 

Best Metal Songs of All Time

(Putting this one together was a fuckin' nightmare...)

10. Bolt Thrower - Lest We Forget

9. Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes to Midnight

8. Darkthrone - Transilvanian Hunger

7. Vehemence - Christ, I Fucking Hate You!!

6. Bruce Dickinson - Bring Your Daughter(To the Slaughter)

5. Rhapsody - Emerald Sword

4. Helloween - I Want Out

3. Morbid Angel - Angel of Disease

2. Steel Prophet - When Six was Nine

1. Primordial - Gods to the Godless

 

Best 5 Songs Not on Top 15 of Year Albums

5. God Forbid - Antihero

4. The Haunted - All Against All

3. Into Eternity - Spiralig into Depression

2. Enforsaken - Tales of Bitterness

1. Amaran - Atropine

 

Best 15 Albums of 2004

15. Borknagar - Epic - Song: Future Remeniscence

14. Heaven Shall Burn - Antigone - Song: Weapon They Fear

13. Shadows Fall - The War Within - Song: Inspiartion on Demand

12. Megadeth - The System has Failed - Song: Die Dead Enough or Back in the Day

11. Iced Earth - The Glorious Burden - Song: The Reckoning or GreenFace

10. Rhapsody - Symphony of Enchanted Lands II:The Dark Secret - Song: Unholy Warcry *Features Christopher Lee on vox*

9. Susperia - Unlimited - Song: Off the Grid or Home Sweet Hell

8. Unearth - The Oncoming Storm Song: Failure

7. Winds - The Imaginary Direction of Time Song: What is Beauty?

6. Evergrey - The Inner Circle Song: A Touch of Blessing

*Album may appear religious, but the band has an anti-cult concept here

5. Sirenia - An Elixir for Existence - Song: Star-crossed

4. Leaves Eyes - Lovelorn Song: Ocean's Way

3. Amon Amarth - Fate of Norns Song: In Pursuit of Vikings

2. Nightwish - Once Song: Ghost Love Score or Wish I had an Angel

1. Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine Song: Nymphetamine or Guilded Cunt

 

Note: I like the new Iced Earth, and it has TIm Ripper Owens on vocals. I thought he was great in Priest, although I have never liked Halford. He has a bit of as different style there though. Last 3 songs on the album have a Gettysburg thing to them.

Enjoy.

[Guest packmania]

Horns up from down under \m/

[PaulQ]

Welcome, fellow newbie. I must admit, music also played a role in my deconversion process; however, it wasn't heavy metal. After my heavy metal phase (which included Ozzy, Guns n' Roses, Metallica), I became keenly interested in alternative punk. At first, I discovered the Clash and the Sex Pistols. However, it wasn't until XTC and Bad Religion did music really help the seeds of doubt grow. Then Napster came on the scene, which allowed me to follow some of the "Trails" I discovered in this music. For instance, the Dead Milkmen's Punk Rock Girl lead me to search for Mojo Nixon, where I enjoyed songs such as "Are you drinking with me Jesus" and "Plastic Jesus." My exploration came full circle when I discovered anti-religious sentiment in Frank Sinatra's work. Consider this line in "My Way":

 

"For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels"

 

Yes, it's out there, and has been for a very long time. Now I'm going to have to search for Dimmu Borgir and check that out...but thanks for the post, I found it quite entertaining. Oh, and Bon Jovi is not heavy metal. Not in my books. It's more 80's rock than anything else.