Did We Get Out Because We Are Smarter?

[Lorena Rodriguez]

Hi there,

 

As I read our stories, I keep asking myself, If we could see the problems with Christianity why can't others?

 

Wouldn't it be great to run a survey to know how we're different from the average christian?

 

Do we have a really high I.Q? I do.

Are we critical thinkers? I am.

Are we brutally honest people with ourselves and others? I am.

Do we have obsessive compulsive behaviours that make us get to the bottom of any issue? I have them.

Were we dedicated students in school, the type that stayed up all night studying for mid-terms?

Did we suffer childhood abuse of any kind?

Are we just people that were born more spiritually/intellectually alert than others?

Did/do we have a difficult time fitting in groups of any kind?

Are we loners?

Do we overly think stuff?

 

What on earth is wrong (or right) with us? We seem to be a rare breed of people.

 

Thank you for your thoughts,

 

 

Lorena

Visit my blog: http://exfundamentalist.blogspot.com/

[pandora]

I've often wondered the same thing. I really have no clue as to why we were able to deconvert and others weren't. I suspect it is a combination of common sense, intelligence, and being/reading in/about the right place/issues at the right time.

 

I also think that being from conservative backgrounds is common among ex-Christians. For some reasons, mainliners just don't deconvert as often. And if they do, it isn't an all out renunciation... it's just a "I don't relate to this anymore, but I still get some good out of it" type of thing.

[Fweethawt]

Honesty.

[Mnemosyne]

For some reasons, mainliners just don't deconvert as often.

I think it's because mainstream Christianity is less repressive than fundamentalism... and repression often has the effect of pushing people over the edge into rebellion against it. Mainstream Christians don't have to make lifestyle changes to the same extent, don't have to repress as many of their desires, etc.

[☆ TexasFreethinker ☆]

I think several things can cause a person to take an honest look at his or her beliefs. I know plenty of very smart people who are still christians, so I don't think ex-christians are necessarily smarter.

 

I think it takes the desire and willingness to examine what you believe and why you believe it and many things can spark that desire.

 

***

 

BTW, Welcome Lorena!

[Lorena Rodriguez]

 

BTW, Welcome Lorena!

 

Thank you, Freethinker. I've been around for a few weeks, but I've been too lazy to write my de-testimony.

 

It includes 40 years and there is a lot of crap to talk about.

[Alexandrian]

Hi there,

 

As I read our stories, I keep asking myself, If we could see the problems with Christianity why can't others?

 

Wouldn't it be great to run a survey to know how we're different from the average christian?

 

Do we have a really high I.Q? I do.

Are we critical thinkers? I am.

Are we brutally honest people with ourselves and others? I am.

Do we have obsessive compulsive behaviours that make us get to the bottom of any issue? I have them.

Were we dedicated students in school, the type that stayed up all night studying for mid-terms?

Did we suffer childhood abuse of any kind?

Are we just people that were born more spiritually/intellectually alert than others?

Did/do we have a difficult time fitting in groups of any kind?

Are we loners?

Do we overly think stuff?

 

What on earth is wrong (or right) with us? We seem to be a rare breed of people.

 

Thank you for your thoughts,

 

 

Lorena

Visit my blog: http://exfundamentalist.blogspot.com/

 

 

I don't know if being an ex-christian makes you smarter, but it is probably indicative of a more critical nature. There are some people who become very entrenched in an ideology (which may or may not be a religion), and when examining facts looks for ways on how to interpret them to support their current belief system rather then examing the facts objectively. Changing your beliefs in such a powerful way as deconverting shows a great willingness to rexamine one's thoughts about the world.

[Lycorth]

Welcome, Lorena! Good to have another aboard!

 

Your ex-testimony will come. Until then, read and learn - there are many wise folks and a few smartasses here to give much food for thought

[Lizard]

For myself..it has to do with my inquisitiveness. I'm curious about everything. If a new idea is presented, I will spend much time researching, pondering and discussing it..

 

Smarter? Not necessarily. I think its a mixed group.

 

I think there is a trait that seems to be prevelant among Ex'ers..and that would be honesty. A willingness to say "hey, I was wrong about what Ibelieved." Rather than just continue in the fold to be a part of the pack. (that's a mixed metaphor, ain't it? )

[nightflight]

I just got tired of the guilt and fear. I made a break for it.

[Lorena Rodriguez]

Welcome, Lorena! Good to have another aboard!

 

Your ex-testimony will come. Until then, read and learn - there are many wise folks and a few smartasses here to give much food for thought

 

Thanks, Wolfheart.

 

You know, I started wondering yesterday about how on earth I managed to deconvert, and the rest of you for that matter.

 

I stopped going to church cold turkey in May last year and my husband, who still goes, never told me that people ask about me. I don't know what he tells them, because he is quite reserved. He must tell them things like "she is doing homework," or doing this or that. He would never tell them that I have renounced christianity and that I won't go to church anymore. I think he is still praying and hoping I'll go back.

 

This weekend 2 different people called to "encourage me," "to see if there is something they can pray with me about." They don't have the foggiest idea that I jumped off the ship; it would never occur to them, because it is such a rare occurrence.

 

Both times I refused to speak to the callers. What am I going to say? "Listen, I am not a christian anymore" won't go to well. The thing is that I don't want to hurt their feelings. They believe what they believe and they shouldn't be chastised for believing.

 

On the other hand, I am so angry--as you can read on my blog--that when they start pushing my buttons, which they will, I will snap for sure.

 

Anyway, maybe I should tell them the truth, so they get used to the idea that people do quit religion sometimes. But I just don't feel like doing that.

 

 

 

Thank you for for listening,

 

 

Lorena

Visit my blog:http://exfundamentalist.blogspot.com/

[Checkmate]

Another thread, same topic. It is quite the mystery, ain't it? Cheers.

[Lycorth]

Your time to tell them will come. I am still debating when to tell certain people, and don't intend to tell others at all. I really don't want to cause upset amongst those who are not of the best health to handle the stressful idea that I have dumped the family religion, but am equally sick and tired of living a lie, of seeming like a still a churchgoing Catholic when I am assuredly not.

 

In the end, you will know what to say and when, as do we all. I hate how making such a fuss about telling loved ones we don't believe in their religion anymore makes Xianity seem more important than it really is, but the facts are it's important in the eyes of many whom we hold dear, and we must contend with that. But in the end everyone who should know, will know. It's not the end of the world and there's no god to condemn us for not coming right out with it anymore than there is one to condemn us for leaving Xianity.

[Lorena Rodriguez]

Another thread, same topic. It is quite the mystery, ain't it? Cheers.

 

I read your post and you totally nailed it:

 

"I think the answer has something to do with HONESTY and HUMILITY. Honestly “seeking the truth" and having the humility to admit that we were wrong."

 

I am married to a fundamentalist christian guy whom I believe is the smarest person I've ever known. But he never admits to being wrong--never ever. He learned it from his mother. And we all know how self-righteous christians can be, though some, like my husband, can be nice about it.

 

"Ironic how that works out, isn’t it? Considering that Christianity promotes Honesty and Humility as virtues, while counting Dishonesty and Pride as 'Sins'?"

 

Ditto that.

[HadouKen24]

I left Christianity because I've always been the curious sort, and I've always been very good at discursive logic. If it's important, as Christianity claims to be, then I will want to investigate it, and I have the tools at my disposal to do so. The fundamental claims of Christianity are not hard to understand, so it was not terribly difficult to begin analyzing them. My proudest moment in my deconversion was sitting in a college level philosophy class my senior year of high school and listening to the professor present responses to Thomas Aquinas' famous five arguments for the existence of God. I had come up with almost exactly the same responses independently two years earlier.

 

So for me it was my instinct to philosophy that brought me away from Christianity.

[Ro-bear]

I used to flatter myself by supposing that my superior intelligence enabled me to break the bonds of religious belief. Later I realized the bonds just weren't that strong for me. One of the smartest, if not the smartest, fellows I know is a devout Catholic. He began life as an episcopalian, but they were too wishy-washy for him. Yet he claims that he believes all those unbelievable things that Christians believe. It's not intelligence alone; it must be something else as well.

 

I think some people simply need to believe. Perhaps they are insecure on some level. For some people the implications of atheism are too frightening to face. No purpose except that you glean from society or create for yourself. The finality of death. No objective standards of good and evil. These are the things that theists ask me about when they learn of my apostacy. I think that is what holds them back.

[Dianka]

I wasn't raised to consider what God thinks of every last sin I commit. Also, I've never been one to consider the retribution waiting for me after I've done something wrong like not going to school or doing something illegal. That little personality quirk probably made me wonder whether there is a God, but what kept me from scurrying back to the church was that there is simply no reason for me to think God has ever done anything for me or the people I know, as well as any bullshit answer from God story people used to peddle in church. It's closed-minded, but some bridges are worth burning. As for having an above average IQ, I graduated from high school with a 1.2 GPA. Not that I tried very hard, but I figure it takes a smarter person than I was back then to figure out that I was fucking up.

[Mike D]

I am married to a fundamentalist christian guy whom I believe is the smarest person I've ever known. But he never admits to being wrong--never ever. He learned it from his mother. And we all know how self-righteous christians can be, though some, like my husband, can be nice about it.

I'll agree with this, my father is a fundamentalist Christian and he's extremely bright and well educated. What baffles me even more is that he's a lawyer and a judge, and is used to thinking critically and knows all the rules of evidence, burden of proof, hearsay, etc. But I think his problem is that he tends to be an emotionalist, and he is as stubborn as a goat. At least he admits it's a matter of faith and has nothing to do with evidence or proof or anything else. So he's not kidding himself....

[Mythra]

It can't be due strictly to intelligence. I'm a freaking simpleton. I can't even rub my tummy and pat my head and then switch em without getting confused.

 

Maybe honesty is it. Has an awful lot to do with it, I would think. We all got to a point where we could stomach no more nonsense, falsehood, and hypocrisy.

 

That - plus not being afraid to tell the world to fuck off and die, I don't want to play anymore.

[Open_Minded]

As I read our stories, I keep asking myself, If we could see the problems with Christianity why can't others?

 

Honestly ... I can't speak from personal experience. But, as the daughter of two people who left the church - I'd say those who leave have the strength and ability to face one question and answer it honestly.....

 

How can a "loving" god send people to hell, or do all the things that the Bible says god did?

[knowmad]

I'd say being brave enough to trust/have faith in yourself, regardless of what the rest of the world believes, and acting on that trust.

[Lorena Rodriguez]

I'd say being brave enough to trust/have faith in yourself, regardless of what the rest of the world believes, and acting on that trust.

 

 

I have to say that I never got the courage to leave christianity until I reached that point. And that is exactly what I am working on now a days. In my forties, I am behaving like a toddler, saying no every time I get the change, to become better at not giving a dumn about others' opinion.

 

Lorena

[knowmad]

I reread your OP and in it you stated "we must be a rare breed of people" to have deconverted.

 

I am of the opinion that we all are extremely unique yet we humans find comfort and security in groups.

We feel better about ourselves when others accept us.

Yet it's in the group scenarios that we lose or give away parts of our uniqueness, some more than others etc.

 

I think one of the characteristics of being "rare" is a non conformist attitude.

Looking back at my whole life I began to notice that I never fit in any group and I used to think this was a dysfunction on my part.

Shit everyone else has heaps of friends and they don't think the world is fucked up, why can't I see it that way?

 

About 10 years ago I read a scripture that said "know thyself" and I thought fuck I really have no idea who I am and why I do things or why some things make me happy or sad etc.

I did what made me happy and avoided the things that made me sad.

I lived a life of just going with the flow of society, having a basic set of morals to be acceptable to the rest of society but I began to see that that didn't define who I really was.

 

So I embarked on a psychological spiritual journey to really find out who the fuck I was.

In doing so I realised how we allow ourselves to lose proportional parts of our identites to be part of a whole.

If we all lived with the ability to truly accept people as they are and encourage them to enjoy/ be proud of their uniqueness we may have that idealistic world the religions rant about so much.

 

But the exact opposite occurs within group scenarios.

Conform and we will fully accept you.

This happens because the group thinks that thier group is correct, it is the correct way to live.

 

But then with all that said, we all have a basic set of morals don't we and the whole arguementitive cycle of who is right and wrong kicks in again.

I supose this is how groups are formed in the first place.

 

So can we sum up our interactive existance into one basic moral law that will enable us to live peacefully with each other and actually truly love each other ?

 

Maybe this was the whole purpose of religious thinking way back in the past. In a quick reading of many of the world's religions I noticed a common theme or basic moral statement.

 

Respect and love for each other, and for many beliefs for the planet we live on.

Respect being the attitude and love being the act toward others.

You don't need to adhere to any religion to have that ability and you don't need all the other crap associated with each religion to be able to adhere to those two fundamentals.

 

Of course this is all academic and looks good on paper, it's when we test it in the real world we come across a multitude of problems that complicate the idealistic world we envision.

 

And I suppose it's religion that tries to unravel these problems to which it fails miserably.

Instead it's a vehicle to which more problems are created.

But when you think about it, is it the religion that is the problem or the people expressing the religion ?

[non conformist]

I think that losing the fear of hell is instrumental. Also letting go of the guilt, which is extremely difficult. Once you've dared to question, and search for an answer, you're on your way. The bonds of belief are no where nearly as strong as the bonds of fear and guilt. IMHO.

[Saviourmachine]

Hi there,

 

As I read our stories, I keep asking myself, If we could see the problems with Christianity why can't others?

 

Wouldn't it be great to run a survey to know how we're different from the average christian?

 

Do we have a really high I.Q? I do.

Are we critical thinkers? I am.

Are we brutally honest people with ourselves and others? I am.

Do we have obsessive compulsive behaviours that make us get to the bottom of any issue? I have them.

Were we dedicated students in school, the type that stayed up all night studying for mid-terms?

Did we suffer childhood abuse of any kind?

Are we just people that were born more spiritually/intellectually alert than others?

Did/do we have a difficult time fitting in groups of any kind?

Are we loners?

Do we overly think stuff?

 

What on earth is wrong (or right) with us? We seem to be a rare breed of people.

 

Thank you for your thoughts,

 

 

Lorena

Visit my blog: http://exfundamentalist.blogspot.com/

Let us not boast, and if we have to boast, let us boast in humility. Do you have IQ? I don't even have one. Do you think critically? I don't even think. Are you brutal and honest? I don't even know how my attitude comes across. Did you study all night? I did even learn from the questions at my exams?

 

Oh no! I was deconverted. Yes, you're right, and I'm the smartest.