evergreen Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, as I'm not really ranting. I wasn't sure where to post. Well, today was much like any other Wednesday. I got up, went to class, and lucky me, finished at 12pm, came on home! I checked my mailbox and found a little Gospel of John and the Book of Romans! Weee! It says, "Two Books of the Bible containing answers to Life's Greatest Questions." This is a "gift" to me from First Baptist Church. Whatever that is. I don't know anything about Baptists. Anyway, I thought it was funny. This is the first time I've gotten something like this in the mail. How exciting! I expect they were passed out all over the neighbourhood... I only hope no one converts because they got a Gospel of John... Actually, I guess it's none of my business, but... meh. There seem to be instructions in the back about how to "get saved." Yay! Number 1 reads: "You need to see yourself as a lost sinner, separated from God and condemned to an eternal hell." Excellent. Oh, wow. I'm sort of skimming this as I type. Apparantly you should attend a Baptist church if you'd like to be saved and live for God, in case you were wondering. "Find an Independent, Fundamental, Baptist church, and be baptized in obedience to your Lord." It would have been nice to know that. Instead, I spent all my life until I turned 18 attending the wrong church when I was trying to live for God! Shit! Ok, I'm done. I'm just entertained. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 lol I never received books in the mail like that, however I have received something that from St. Matthews (something like that) about if we sow a seed into that ministry, we will be blessed. (Sowing seeds of 10s 20s even 100 dollars mind you) Be blessed, as in financially. Ok, fine... so if I drop, oh say, about 100 bucks into the ministry, have the electric shut off to do so, I can just wait on god to bless me to give me the money (that I already had) to get it turned back and along with an activation fee! Woo hoo, I should jump right on that one!!!!! NOT Yes, some of it can be amusing, (to us that know better) but some actually believe the nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evergreen Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 lol I never received books in the mail like that, however I have received something that from St. Matthews (something like that) about if we sow a seed into that ministry, we will be blessed. (Sowing seeds of 10s 20s even 100 dollars mind you) Be blessed, as in financially. Ok, fine... so if I drop, oh say, about 100 bucks into the ministry, have the electric shut off to do so, I can just wait on god to bless me to give me the money (that I already had) to get it turned back and along with an activation fee! Woo hoo, I should jump right on that one!!!!! NOT Yes, some of it can be amusing, (to us that know better) but some actually believe the nonsense. Indeed... Well, who needs electicity, really...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Indeed... Well, who needs electicity, really...? LOL really, thank goodness I am not amish, I would never survive!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Apparantly you should attend a Baptist church if you'd like to be saved and live for God, in case you were wondering. Who's wondering. I have long ago accepted that I'm a pig fuckin harlot who needs God's helping hand. Out of concern for you, I will post a link to my church's website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evergreen Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 Apparantly you should attend a Baptist church if you'd like to be saved and live for God, in case you were wondering. Who's wondering. I have long ago accepted that I'm a pig fuckin harlot who needs God's helping hand. Out of concern for you, I will post a link to my church's website. I love that website. It's awesome. Thanks for your concern! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Oh, wow. I'm sort of skimming this as I type. Apparantly you should attend a Baptist church if you'd like to be saved and live for God, in case you were wondering."Find an Independent, Fundamental, Baptist church, and be baptized in obedience to your Lord." ...gotta love the baptists! My dad is a retired s. baptist minister; he took a lot of the shit a little less seriously than most. He used to tease one of the local methodist ministers at one of the many towns I grew up in about going to hell because they only "christened;" you could tell he didn't really buy into it. The typical baptist believes that total immersion in water is a strict requirement for getting into heaven, as well as being really big in the "once saved, always saved" bit (maybe that's how he sleeps at night having three atheist/agnostic sons). They also believe that the baptist doctrine is totally untouched by time and is exactly what Christ intended; they actually have a list of a long line of people reaching back to John the Baptist that went underground for about 1600 years and then resurfaced (Pops actually does believe in that...). They have some really wild shit; I believe it was back in the late 80's (maybe early 90's) the Southern Baptist Convention actually came up with a new rule saying that the King James Version in english was the only true translation of the bible. They've really started going kind of crazy with thier docrinal interpretations; my dad refuses to even sign thier new creed (and is a little worried about his pension as a result, but nothing has come of it so far). What's even funnier about all of these docrinal "adjustments" they make is they never even bother to tell thier congregations about them. can't say as I have ever missed it.... if anyone had desire to return to x-ianity, I'd sure warn them away from the Baptist church. They have some pretty scary shit in thier closets. Who's wondering. I have long ago accepted that I'm a pig fuckin harlot who needs God's helping hand. Out of concern for you, I will post a link to my church's website. I LOVE that website! I get a lot of jollies at how many people actually believe its for real! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Number 1 reads: "You need to see yourself as a lost sinner, separated from God and condemned to an eternal hell." Excellent. And there you have it, folks, the strawman that sells Xianity. The only way a person can accept Xianity, summed up right there. And that's what makes me rant and rave so about Xianity, perhaps above all other reasons, the assertion that we're worthless without their god and their religion and absolutely require them in order to be spared from eternally roasting. I am much the same boat when some zombie leaves something on my car or in my mail. I get some stupid tract every so often, and they do entertain me. Reading them makes me realize why I left the cult behind, and only strengthens my resolve to stay away from it and all absolutist beliefs. Plus, they make great paper airplanes to toss around work. Jesus is coming back! *toss* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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