Looking For A Gay Exchristian Who Really Had An Axe To Grind With The Church When He Left

[Hoju]

My name is John Draper. I'm a writer. My blog posts appear on exchristian.net regularly. I'm writing a short story and would like to interview someone to help me create a character sketch for one of the characters. I want to talk to a gay man who REALLY was hostile to the church when he left -- even meanspirited. I want to talk to somebody who liked to stick it to believers. This behavior would have been based on all the cruel treatment you received at the hands of believers.

 

Can we talk over the phone? I don't even need to know your name. I just want to use your story as the skeleton for my character sketch

 

Thanks for your time

[R. S. Martin]

Hello John (Hojo) Draper. Welcome to the exC forums!

 

Have you got any responses yet? I notice that over more than twenty-four hours only forty or so people have read this post and no one has posted. Since I'm also a writer and long time member here, I wonder if it would help to rework the criteria for your potential interviewee. In my observation from reading these forums, not too many gay people "really stick it" to the church for the express reason that they are in the minority and to do so would result in even more emotional and social injury. 

 

Suggestion: Two-part research. PART 1 Interview six to ten gay people about their experiences at the hands of religion, then create a character who "really sticks it" to the church in retribution. One of your interview questions could be: If you did not strike out at the church, did you feel like doing so? And if so, what kind of things did you feel like doing/saying? You could then use those feelings/wishes/desires for ideas re behaviour acted out by your fictional character. I see a couple advantages to this:

 

1. You can honestly say that your work is a work of fiction and that any resemblance to a real person, living or dead, is a coincidence. 
2. No single interviewee will draw unnecessary attention to himself through your fictional character because he didn't actually do the things your character does. In other words, I think it would be safer for interviewees.

Research PART 2 To get a realistic view of how the church would react to someone who behaves like your fictional character, after creating your fictional character you could interview 6-10 church members/leaders, explaining what you're doing, and asking how they would respond IF ever a person in their congregation acted/spoke like your character. Again, the advantages would be the same as for Part 1.

 

In case public hostility erupts over Christianity's uncharitable handling of gay people, you can honestly say your characters are fictional. That should divert attack on real people, church leaders or otherwise. Of course, I don't know you. Maybe you are an activist who wants to attack religion for its vicious treatment of gay people. In that case, I don't know what to say...I guess in my opinion a fictional story would speak loud enough without instigating verbal attack bordering on libel on real people but I'm not you.

 

That's my two cents for what it's worth. All the best on your project.

[Lyra]

I'm happy to help, but I'm a lesbo and not a gay man, and I've never really been entrenched in a church, so I'm not sure if I fit your target audience or not.

 

Maybe you could have a local focus group in your city? 

[Mike D]

I am a gay ex-christian, but not sure I meet your criteria. 

 

I wasn't "out" when I was a Christian so I didn't receive any personally cruel treatment, but my parents were Pentecostals so I had to sit through many a fire and brimstone sermon about how homosexuals were perverts and abominations to god and were going to burn.  And that I did take personally because I was a young teen and had to listen to this shit for years knowing that I was gay.

 

I am not sure I had an axe to grind when I left, but I took great pleasure in mocking intolerant Christians and Christianity after that.  In fact years ago I used to regularly go into Christian chat rooms on AOL and I would mock the Bible and Jesus and call people idiots and pick fights with them.  It probably wasn't very mature but I enjoyed every minute of it.

[I Broke Free]

Hi Hoju, another gay ex-Christian here.

 

A forum member asked me to check out your post. I doubt I fit your criteria either. I grew up in a family that was not religious at all but I decided to seek out the Mormon Church at the at the age 16 because I thought a conservative religious experience would “straighten” me out.  I went on my own to the church for two years until I graduated from high school. To be perfectly honest the members of the church were very nice to me. I was experiencing extreme inner turmoil regarding my sexuality and going to church only made matters worse. But I knew I was in control of my life and could leave without incident whenever I wanted. When I did stop going right after high school graduation my parents were pleased and the church members only reached out once or twice in a non-threatening manner.

 

I wish you luck finding the right person to talk to. I wish I could recommend someone from this forum, but I rarely post anymore and don’t know the members like I used to.