Disappointed By My Gay Male Peers

[I Broke Free]

I also think gays give aid and comfort to their oppressor when they support christian churches that refuse to allow that GLBT people AND THEIR WAYS OF MAKING LOVE are OK. I think opposition to those churches is the better political act. Some churches may step out of biblical orthodoxy and just say the bible fails to address historical circumstances of today's gays and lesbians. Some churches may say that biblical condemnations of lesbians and gays are irrelevant because the bible reflects ancient concern with acts apart from understanding the nature of the gay or lesbian or bisexual person. That's cool in my book. But then, why retain a core of Christianity at all if big pieces of it are going to be set aside as historically conditioned? That's my problem with liberal christianity.

 

Thanks ficino,

This is precisely what I wanted to convey at the meeting on Friday. I challenged the person who said the Bible was not anti-gay and we just need to read the bible in context. My attempts were met with jaw-dropping, wide-eyed horror. Instead the topic veered off to how important it is for gay men to shop for just the right church! This is when I realized that this group was not ready to listen to my message that basic tenants of Christianity needed to be examined.

 

IBF

[Reach]

I am still in a mild shock over what happened on Friday; I witnessed a room full of grown intelligent men acting like an abused child clinging to an abusive parent. Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

I believe it is my responsibility to disseminate information, teach the teachable and cleanse the eyes or remove the shackles of those who are open to that.

 

I can't perform miracles, however; I cannot make a blind man see. Many people prefer their blindness to sight which forces them to make new choices and pursue new directions. All too often, they would simply "rather not know" or confront, the truth.

 

But also, I do not believe it is my right to pull the rug out from under someone's feet, even if it's a tattered, thread bare scrap of a carpet. It may be all one has to stand on. I hold to the belief that to disabuse someone of his sacred cows is not my privilege. One must have the strength to open his eyes, to see the truth that is evidenced all around him and make the move away from that which is "comfortable" or consign himself to remain a captive to his comfort zone. Many people claim to be seeking truth but I have found that most of them are quite comfortable at home and in bed with their delusions.

 

Truth is hard to take and change is never easy. Not to mention that change usually comes with a price tag that is too expensive for many.

[Amethyst]

 

 

Well said, Reach.

 

I think that a lot of people don't want to give up their security blankets of religion because to them, it is is all the hope they have. For whatever reason(s), they want to believe in an afterlife and that their loved ones are there and they'll see their family members again someday. The fallacies of the Bible don't mean anything to them because it's a small thing compared to the security blanket of the Biblical afterlife.

[Lorena Rodriguez]

I am still in a mild shock over what happened on Friday; I witnessed a room full of grown intelligent men acting like an abused child clinging to an abusive parent. Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

 

IBF

 

 

It would be nice if you could help them IBF, but first you have to take care of yourself. Maybe one day, you will reach the point where it won't hurt you when people gang up on you like that, but for now, it seems you are still too vulnerable.

 

Since most people around us ex-christians are either christians or christian-wannabe's, trying to convert the world to our way of thinking is a difficult thing to do, specially when your partner isn't validating you (I am in the same situation).

 

Good luck,

 

Lorena

[Vigile]

Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

 

JMO, but I don't think it is your job to be the anti missionary here. I seriously doubt any of them take their beliefs seriously enough that those beliefs have a harmful effect on their daily lives and since they have chosen a liberal interpretation of the bible their self esteem should remain in tact as well. For those of us here religion once played (and in some ways still does) a large role in our lives. From what you have described and from what I can guess religion is probably only an after thought for them. They don't have to think like you think to remain your close friends. That's the beauty of humanity. We are all capable of having differing opinions and the enlightened among us can do so and still get along perfectly well. I can't believe that a group of gay men in NH are going to treat you like an outcast the way that an uneducated conservative southern Baptist red neck might. It's too bad you can't get empathy among your peers, but at least you are not going to get scorn. Reach made a good point. We are in essentially the first generation that has allowed homosexuals to come out of the closet freely. I'm astounded by how quickly things have progressed over the past few years. It takes time for cultures to cycle through their evolutionary phases. Hopefully the church will keep its head in the sand and continue to preach against gay marriage and the like. This will give your peers more incentive to throw out xtianity once and for all and adopt something more healthy.

[I Broke Free]

Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

 

I’m not quite sure why I wrote that statement; it must have been done out of pure frustration. I suppose I was projecting what I would like to do, rather that what I would really do. I never had any real desire to turn the weekly gay-men’s meeting into a forum dedicated to spreading my own personal philosophy.

 

----------------------------------

 

I couldn’t take the ‘not-knowing’ any longer and had a discussion with my partner about my religious discussion at the meeting on Friday. He is not angry with me and said that the discussion was interesting and well received. However, he did say that two or three times he wanted to poke me in the side when I used some ‘one-liners’ that may have offended some people. He thinks I should drop the subject unless someone else brings it up again in the future. I am inclined to follow his advice. I have spent the last two days obsessed with the issue and it has not been a productive way to spend my time.

 

I am still very disappointed. I was certain that within a group of 35 middle-aged gay men I would find at least one kindred spirit. I was confident that being gay would not just force these men to question their religion, but the concept of faith as well. Instead I found that the Christian meme is adaptable enough to ensnare those most likely to reject it. I am so thankful that this website exists; without it I would not be able to vent my frustration.

 

IBF

[Lorena Rodriguez]

Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

 

I’m not quite sure why I wrote that statement; it must have been done out of pure frustration. I suppose I was projecting what I would like to do, rather that what I would really do. I never had any real desire to turn the weekly gay-men’s meeting into a forum dedicated to spreading my own personal philosophy.

 

----------------------------------

I am still very disappointed. I was certain that within a group of 35 middle-aged gay men I would find at least one kindred spirit. I was confident that being gay would not just force these men to question their religion, but the concept of faith as well. Instead I found that the Christian meme is adaptable enough to ensnare those most likely to reject it. I am so thankful that this website exists; without it I would not be able to vent my frustration.

 

IBF

 

IBF

 

It sounds like the incident was a good thing after all. Now you know the truth and you can finally move on. Good luck finding kindred spirits.

 

 

Lorena

[Curtdude]

....Instead I found that the Christian meme is adaptable enough to ensnare those most likely to reject it. I am so thankful that this website exists; without it I would not be able to vent my frustration.

 

IBF

 

Great discussion, Dennis and Everybody. Yeah, damnit but you're right on. Gay men are in general just as christian as the rest of the culture. Most annoying.

 

Part of what you're talking about here is our sense of alienation from other gay men who we have idealized somewhat falsely to be there for us, since so many in the world are against us. And we apostates find ourselves up against another alienating circumstance. I wrongly project my own experience on others, assuming they have concluded as I have. Wrong. [insert wrong answer buzzer from game show.] Painfully wrong.

 

Dennis, there are plenty of freethinkers and apostates out there in gayland, but most queers are exactly like you found at this group: stuck in our society's religious superstitions even when it's against their best interests to do so.

 

Also sounds like your pardner is just bored by the discussion...am I reading him correctly? Sort of, "Don't worry about it dear (yawn) just don't let others upset you" sort of response. At least he's supportive and loves you and doesn't want you to worry yourself silly. Could be worse, hon. At least you're not married to some do-gooder MCC priest who wears purple robes and rainbow crosses. God I can't stand all that stuff.

 

Here's a non-believin' hug and smoochy from me. Take care.

[Reality Amplifier]

What I found were some thirty-odd men desperate to mold Christianity in their own image. (Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised after all.) The entire discussion broke down into a pathetic attempt to make anti-gay Bible versus palatable. No matter how hard I tried to dig deeper into the validity of Christianity itself, no one would take the bait. Everyone who shared last night spoke of how they have come to understand that the Christian God loves them just they way they are, and that Jesus died for their sins. They expressed that other evil Christians were not reading the Bible ‘correctly.’ Apparently they alone held the true message of Christianity. None of them seemed to recognize the hypocrisy in their position.

Belief in religion is a matter of faith (not reason). Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. Given enough faith, one can believe almost anything. Most people who remain Christians today can only remain so by the vehicle of faith.

 

Consider that the average person today knows more about the nature of the world and the way things work today than most people did 2000-4000 years ago. It’s only by ignoring and stifling doubts about sections of the bible that are in contradiction with our current level of our knowledge of how things work, that people manage to hold onto to their faith. It’s fascinating how people are able to partition off sections of their brains to blithely ignore certain parts of reality in order to make things internally consistent with their own theistic worldviews...

[LosingMyReligion]

I belong to gay men’s social-support group in Concord, New Hampshire. We meet every Friday evening for 90 minutes and then head out to a nearby restaurant for a late dinner. Last night we had about 35 men (average age is about 40) in attendance. It was “Open Topic Night” and anyone could bring up any issue they wanted. I had decided earlier that if no one had any pressing issues I wanted to bring up how being gay has shaped our faith.

 

Coming out as a gay person in a religious family or environment undoubtedly forces the individual to reevaluate their faith and I wanted to hear about this process. I started the discussion by telling about my own experience. I explained that during the process of examining my Christian faith I eventually decided that there was nothing supporting it and that it should be dumped in the trash heap. I wanted to convey to the group that I was glad I was gay because it was the issue that caused me to examine my faith in the first place.

 

I was not sure what to expect, but I was hoping that a few others would have shared my experience and discuss it with the group. What I found were some thirty-odd men desperate to mold Christianity in their own image. (Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised after all.) The entire discussion broke down into a pathetic attempt to make anti-gay Bible versus palatable. No matter how hard I tried to dig deeper into the validity of Christianity itself, no one would take the bait. Everyone who shared last night spoke of how they have come to understand that the Christian God loves them just they way they are, and that Jesus died for their sins. They expressed that other evil Christians were not reading the Bible ‘correctly.’ Apparently they alone held the true message of Christianity. None of them seemed to recognize the hypocrisy in their position.

 

Needles to say I was disappointed last night. I was hoping to make contact with at least one other person who shared my conviction that Bible-verse-twisting to come up with a faith you can live with is an exercise in hypocrisy, and that the better approach is to dump your faith in Christianity and start from scratch. I suppose last night was not a total loss. I did learn that the Christian Meme is powerful enough to entangle even those most likely to reject it.

 

IBF

 

 

I haven't read any of the other posts in the thread yet, but I can relate to this topic so much. Infact, just a few months ago, I was one of those gay men who tried so hard to reconcile christianity to my homosexuality. However, try as I might, I could not do it. Every scripture is blatantly anti-gay. There is no intepretation--in my opinion--that can even offer a different vision.

Some gay people will explain that the bible is refering to "male prostitutes" and immorality...But it clearly says Homosexuality. I'm homosexual so, ergo, the bible is against me. The god of the bible could careless about two men in a monogamous relationship...Anyone who deviates from the pre-set plan is destined for hell.

Furthermore, gay Christians and churches are the same as fundamentalist ones. Even though they accept homosexuality they turn around and preach the same old jargon about accepting ONLY Jesus to get to heaven. And that in and of itself has turned me off to Christianity.

 

To make a long story short it was making me crazy to try and make the two ends meet. But I've realized that I shouldn't worship a god that hates me for creating me the way that He/she/it did.

I think the problem with most gay Christian men is that we've grown up with this religion and have lived with it our entire lives. It just takes a very brave person to come to reality and let it go. The Christian religion has nothing for me, and I feel like I am a better person for leaving it.

 

So you aren't alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm on an Island because I'm gay and not christian anymore...and I come from a fundamentalist family in Texas(can't wait till I graduate so I can high tail it).

[Reach]

Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

I’m not quite sure why I wrote that statement; it must have been done out of pure frustration. I suppose I was projecting what I would like to do, rather that what I would really do. I never had any real desire to turn the weekly gay-men’s meeting into a forum dedicated to spreading my own personal philosophy.

IBF, I took your question as rhetorical and more or less directed inward, toward yourself, than anyone else, but your pondering reminds me that it is important for us to ask ourselves these kinds of questions.

 

-- Knowing what I do, what is my responsibility in this situation? --

 

I believe that an honest person of deep integrity will meet these types of questions head-on and be willing to wrestle with them until he comes to some sort of conclusion that does not abdicate full responsibility to some other individual or group. The various conclusions one might reach will not always be satisfying but they will be forthright and doable. To do nothing at all is not morally acceptable so one must find what he is able to do. Only you know what is appropriate behavior for you within your group but we certainly struggle with this stuff because we care. We want abusive systems to topple but that will not happen without the input of good people who are willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

 

With your intuitive sensitivity and consistent graciousness you should have no trouble finding and/or maintaining a balance with which you can be comfortable.

[LosingMyReligion]

This seems to be along the lines of possibly why black people support Christianity even though the bible is totally pro-slavery. The conditioning runs sooooo deep among all peoples here in the US (even if they weren't indoctrinated at birth) that people are BLIND to verses that support violence and hatred. I think that deep down, people are so fearful of eternal hell, that they will purposefully ignore scriptures like that in order to believe that they are "saved".

 

I agree with this so much. I am African American, and I don't know about other cultures, but you won't find a more radically fundamentalist sect of Christ Insanity(that is what I call it sometimes).

The bible has been used to hold us back and subjugate us to the most vile and heinous treatment...Yet, we internalize it even moreso than other groups.

The only reason I will goto church now is to hear the choir sing. The pastors are so crooked and hateful.

Once, I visited a church that locked the doors and wouldn't let you leave until you paid tithes. Here I am a broke college student who barely has two nickels to rub together forced to pay someone who created the entire universe....But depesperately needs my money.

Give me a break.

 

And black christians are very homophobic, so I am up to my neck in this Christian B.S. I'm gay and still haven't told any of my family(except my cousin who is also gay but fled to Canada around 20 years ago...)members, and I don't want to. I know the first thing they'll start doing is praying for me. Believe me, I tried prayer to change my feelings and desires and it doesn't work.

 

I am a bit bitter about this. But it does help to vent.

[I Broke Free]

Is it my job to open their eyes, or do I just let them live in their fantasy?

I’m not quite sure why I wrote that statement; it must have been done out of pure frustration. I suppose I was projecting what I would like to do, rather that what I would really do. I never had any real desire to turn the weekly gay-men’s meeting into a forum dedicated to spreading my own personal philosophy.

IBF, I took your question as rhetorical and more or less directed inward, toward yourself, than anyone else, but your pondering reminds me that it is important for us to ask ourselves these kinds of questions.

 

-- Knowing what I do, what is my responsibility in this situation? --

 

I believe that an honest person of deep integrity will meet these types of questions head-on and be willing to wrestle with them until he comes to some sort of conclusion that does not abdicate full responsibility to some other individual or group. The various conclusions one might reach will not always be satisfying but they will be forthright and doable. To do nothing at all is not morally acceptable so one must find what he is able to do. Only you know what is appropriate behavior for you within your group but we certainly struggle with this stuff because we care. We want abusive systems to topple but that will not happen without the input of good people who are willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

 

With your intuitive sensitivity and consistent graciousness you should have no trouble finding and/or maintaining a balance with which you can be comfortable.

 

Reach, thank you for your follow-up post. As usual, your posts always leave me thinking. My recent experience did teach me a few things, and I believe those things can be incorporated into what you said; ”-- Knowing what I do, what is my responsibility in this situation? –"

 

So what is my responsibility? Well I learned that I cannot sway the minds of some 30-odd people in a room with just a few statements. What I can do is not let this experience keep me from speaking my mind in the future. Reach, I can plant a few seeds in my journey through life. I can point out the injustices and harmful influences of Christianity when I see it. I may not witness a de-conversion, but I still have the power to trigger people to think more in depth about what they believe. Perhaps one of my seeds will take root, perhaps not. But either way I will not abdicate my responsibility as a free-thinking individual to speak my mind.

 

Dennis (IBF)

[Mike D]

Here I am a broke college student who barely has two nickels to rub together forced to pay someone who created the entire universe....But depesperately needs my money.

Give me a break.

Heehee. This is so true. Humans should be very skeptical of a being with magical powers who can do anything but then claims to need our money. Not only that, but this one (Jehoover) says that by not tithing we are actually stealing his money! How absurd is that?

[JeffXL]

 

This is kind of weird logic for me. On the surface I guess I can understand and even empathize. Xtianity is so tied up with patriotism, being a good person, being normal, belonging, that I can see why gays don't want to be left out. On the other hand it's kind of like a black person twisting the charter for the KKK because he doesn't want to be left out.

 

That is a perfect description, Vigile! I have never understood why gays would join a hate group, particularly one the that hates *them.*

 

This might only be my experience, but my male gay friends are either neutral toward religion or remain Xtian. My lesbian pals have gravitated toward Wicca, though one friend of mine just left the Unity Church for Wicca. They're getting married end of April, and I'm in the wedding! Whoo hoo!

[Lycorth]

That is a perfect description, Vigile! I have never understood why gays would join a hate group, particularly one the that hates *them.*

 

That's what Xianity is, a hate group against humanity. Why anyone would join a group that teaches them to despise their own selves is beyond me.

[JeffXL]

That's what Xianity is, a hate group against humanity. Why anyone would join a group that teaches them to despise their own selves is beyond me.

 

Hey, Varokhar! Yeah, even at Xmas Eve, the service was all about how we were undeserving worms.

 

But gays seem to a particular target. The Cathylic Church refused communion wafer/wine to anyone who wore a sash supporting gay rights. How that is a loss is beyond me, but the RC revelled in their hatred.

 

That will be my answer to any fundie fuck who asks if I'd like to join up or attend a church: "No, I don't join hate groups."

[Lycorth]

Hey, Varokhar! Yeah, even at Xmas Eve, the service was all about how we were undeserving worms.

 

But gays seem to a particular target. The Cathylic Church refused communion wafer/wine to anyone who wore a sash supporting gay rights. How that is a loss is beyond me, but the RC revelled in their hatred.

 

That will be my answer to any fundie fuck who asks if I'd like to join up or attend a church: "No, I don't join hate groups."

 

Heh - the RCs really love to deny their holy cannibal crackers at the drop of a hat. Big whoop, I can't eat Jesus'™ dick, or whatever part of his body I'm supposed to chow down on

 

Me too - I'm going to use the hate group line at some point. That really ought to make for a good exchange

[Queer Texan]

Maybe it's too ingrained in our culture for them to abandon church totally?

 

I think for some of them it's just how it was ingrained in their heads. I think some of these people were raised "Jesus loves you just the way you are," so for them, there was no way Jesus could ever be wrong, because at least HE loved them, even when the bad people in the church wouldn't. The way I was raised was that Jesus did love me, but that he'd get so pissed off if I did one thing wrong that I'd still bust hell wide open if I died without repentance, and he'd tell me on Judgement, "I never knew you."

 

I think us "hell-fire-and-brimstone" ex-christians had an easier time dumping faith altogether than the "wishy-washy" Christian ever do. With wishy-washy, anything goes -- regardless of what it says in the Bible.

 

Which is why the moment that homosexuality is okay in general society, they'll be marrying them at your local Southern Baptist Church . . . well, a few years down the line.

[☆ TexasFreethinker ☆]

I think us "hell-fire-and-brimstone" ex-christians had an easier time dumping faith altogether than the "wishy-washy" Christian ever do. With wishy-washy, anything goes -- regardless of what it says in the Bible.

I think you're right - once a fundy (like I was) sees the problems with christianity he is likely to discard it all rather than sliding into "looser" form of the religion.

 

And welcome, QT (from another q t)!

[I Broke Free]

 

And welcome, QT (from another q t)!

 

My my! We have TWO queer Texans now!

 

TF has a playmate now.

 

How did we ever get so lucky?

 

IBF

[☆ TexasFreethinker ☆]

My my! We have TWO queer Texans now!

Texas Baptists wish there were just two of us!

[Queer Texan]

This seems to be along the lines of possibly why black people support Christianity even though the bible is totally pro-slavery. The conditioning runs sooooo deep among all peoples here in the US (even if they weren't indoctrinated at birth) that people are BLIND to verses that support violence and hatred. I think that deep down, people are so fearful of eternal hell, that they will purposefully ignore scriptures like that in order to believe that they are "saved".

 

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that pew-sitters simply don't read the Bible. I've challenged Christians at work with the "women don't speak" order by Paul in 1 Corinthians, and they act as if I'm making it up, and too scared to read it themselves. If their pastor don't preach it, it ain't in the Bible.

 

We have TWO queer Texans now!

 

(tipping hat)

[Lycorth]

Needles to say I was disappointed last night. I was hoping to make contact with at least one other person who shared my conviction that Bible-verse-twisting to come up with a faith you can live with is an exercise in hypocrisy, and that the better approach is to dump your faith in Christianity and start from scratch. I suppose last night was not a total loss. I did learn that the Christian Meme is powerful enough to entangle even those most likely to reject it.

 

Back to the topic at hand...

 

I can see just how frustrating that can be, IBF. You want to scream when you see people who are so unable to give up their Jesus™-belief that they have to twist and mold Xianity to make it seem like it justifies their particular way of life. During my time as a Nazi, I learned a lot about the Aryan Nations, perhaps the biggest Xian white supremacist group ever. Their religion was "Xian Identity", a weird (and I do mean weird) offshoot of fundy Baptist-like Xianity, except it really painted the Jews as devils with no uncertainty and painted non-whites as "mistakes of Gawd" who were cursed with dark skin because of their wickedness. Of course, gays got little better treatment, but the point is the Aryan Nations just cherry-picked standard Babble verses and twisted the rest around to completely justify their lifestyle. All severe ideological groups who just can't get away from Jesus™ do that, and that goes for all Xian denominations; they just pick and choose what they like and distort or discard the rest. The Babble is not 100% clear on any one subject it would seem, and in order to be a Xian, it's almost a given that you have to cherry-pick the Scripchahs - it's iltellectually impossible to accept the entire Babble, regardless of how Xianity makes it out to be this inerrant and divinely-inspired book.

 

Your gay friends are just doing what all humans do to all religions, and that's alter it to fit their needs. Whether it's a religion or an anti-religious idea (like freethinking traditions), everyone molds their beliefs to fit their needs. It's very pragmatic, and whether humans want to or not, that is what every single person does, no matter what they believe. Some people have a need to accept scientific truth - so they mold their thoughts on religion around science, be it Xian Evolutionists, Athiests, or neo-Heathens who accept science but still rationalize belief in folk gods. Some people have a need to live up to rigorous standards, so they mold their beliefs around that, like Fundy Xians or Muslims or even Athiests who have conniptions whenever they encounter someone else who isn't an Athiest (like that exchange I had with FriendlyNeighborhoodAthiest recently). Others still have a need to just live and let live, and not apply rigid rules to everyone or themselves, so you get liberal Xians or Jew or Heathens or Freethinkers - you see where I'm going, right? We all mold our religious/anti-religious views to fit what we need them to. I do it and so does every other human on this earth. It's as unavoidable as breathing and as natural as such. And that could be one of the best things; Xianity is so harmful in part because of the unbendingness and inflexibility taught and encouraged by its followers. The Lard will damn you to Hell for this and that, and there's no arguing the issue, or this or that action is good or evil and there's absolutely no room for anything else - do you see what I mean? But the more cases we have of people applying normal human behavior to their religious outlook (ie, molding their religion to suit their needs), the more one of Xianity's most dangerous foundations is undermined. It is natural to fit one's religious views to one's needs and lifestyle, and Xianity can only cramp human nature for so long, as history and current events show us. Dumping an insane religion like Xianity wholesale is the best way to go, but if people want to alter it, however dramatically, to suit their beliefs, then I'm all for it. It will give liveral Xianity an overall greater shelf life, but will drain blood from traditional Xianity, with it's traditional shackles and inflexible mentalities. If Jesus™ is boiled down only to the concepts of universal love and compassion for one's neighbors, with all the Judaic-inspired dogmatizing and hate-mongering gone, then I'll be a happy camper. I won't revert to it, but I'll be happy that genuine Xianity is finally done for.

 

Don't feel the need to "wake up" anyone. Unless they're harming themselves or someone else with their religious views, just don't worry of it. Yes, Xianity is a sick joke, but if they want to redefine it to be less sick and actually healthy for them, more power to them. But if they take it too far, let 'em have it

[spamandham]

I was not sure what to expect, but I was hoping that a few others would have shared my experience and discuss it with the group. What I found were some thirty-odd men desperate to mold Christianity in their own image.

IBF

 

I'm sorry you did not get the response you hoped for. Surely there's a "gay atheist" organization of some kind? If not, it sounds like an opportunity for you.

 

Sadly, I'm not surprised. I have two gay family members, and both of them have adapted their faith to their nature rather than abandoning it!

 

(((straight guy friend hugs)))