Lost Posted December 16, 2016 Author Share Posted December 16, 2016 Thank You ALL again for Your posts HUGS for You ALL to those with strong and sensitive nervous system For ones who don't know my previous posts, here are some information about me (by the was I don't know why my first post dissappeard from list of my posts and why my previous post is locked????????): I come from Poland in middle Europe. I'm 23 years old. I finished in July 2016 three years of Nursing School (Lincesed Nurse) and I started 2 years of Public Health studies and in October 2017 I'm planning to continue Nursing studies on higher level. My church don't know about my crisis of faith. And I don't really want to believe in that. But I am impressed by my acting skills of pretending to be a good christian friend and member. I would like to be, but...damn tose DOUBTS! Hope no one of them will find out about existence of this forum and that I am here. I guess I need to remove things from Search History in case of unknown circumstances. They actually treat Internet as dangerous garbage and they are not really good at English, so maybe it won't happen. My family never really give a damn about religion or spirituality, maybe 2 members of my family have deeper connection with God in Catholic church. I become close to God (as my protector and father after my mum's death when I was 9 years old) in Catholic church from year 2002 till year 2009. In September 2009 I got Internet connection at home so I started searching for information about Christianity, case I wanted to write screenplay about people and God. I found some biblical, end-times websites and in April 2011 I joined Evangelical church. When I had water baptism in September 2011 I hsd doubts about Christianity, cause one man messaged me on Christian Polish forum saying that he was Catholic and Evangelical and Christian worldview is not true. I joined some kind of forum for open minded people around 1 month befor ewater baptism and there one guy said something like "GOd is like a policeman in head and controls everything". That hit me so much that I experienced depersonalization... And here thanks to You yunea for giving me information about DDNOS. I think that I clealy have unspecified dissociation symptoms ot full depersonalization thing. Actually in the case of physical and mental illnesses are some mysterious and not really specified cases that are close to main diagnosis, but not fully fit particular one. Thanks for letting me know about DDNOS. I guess this is that what I was looking for my self-diagnosis. Love and peace for You ALL from my confused heart and twisted mind-just from ME :) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Posted December 16, 2016 Author Share Posted December 16, 2016 Thank You ALL again for Your posts HUGS for You ALL to those with strong and sensitive nervous system For ones who don't know my previous posts, here are some information about me (by the way I don't know why my first post disappeard from list of my posts and why my previous post is locked????????): I come from Poland in middle Europe. I'm 23 years old. I finished in July 2016 three years of Nursing School (Lincesed Nurse) and I started 2 years of Public Health studies and in October 2017 I'm planning to continue Nursing studies on higher level. My church don't know about my crisis of faith. And I don't really want to believe in my crisis. But I am impressed by my acting skills of pretending to be a good christian friend and member. I would like to be, but...damn tose DOUBTS! Hope no one of them will find out about existence of this forum and that I am here. I guess I need to remove things from Search History in case of unknown circumstances. They actually treat Internet as dangerous garbage and they are not really good at English, so maybe it won't happen. My family never really give a damn about religion or spirituality, maybe 2 members of my family have deeper connection with God in Catholic church. I become close to God (as my protector and father after my mum's death when I was 9 years old) in Catholic church from year 2002 till year 2009. In September 2009 I got Internet connection at home so I started searching for information about Christianity, case I wanted to write screenplay about people and God. I found some biblical, end-times websites and in April 2011 I joined Evangelical church. When I had water baptism in September 2011 I hsd doubts about Christianity, cause one man messaged me on Christian Polish forum saying that he was Catholic and Evangelical and Christian worldview is not true. I joined some kind of forum for open minded people around 1 month befor ewater baptism and there one guy said something like "GOd is like a policeman in head and controls everything". That hit me so much that I experienced depersonalization... And here thanks to You yunea for giving me information about DDNOS. I think that I clealy have unspecified dissociation symptoms ot full depersonalization thing. Actually in the case of physical and mental illnesses are some mysterious and not really specified cases that are close to main diagnosis, but not fully fit particular one. Thanks for letting me know about DDNOS. I guess this is that what I was looking for my self-diagnosis. Love and peace for You ALL from my confused heart and twisted mind-just from ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yunea Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 And here thanks to You yunea for giving me information about DDNOS. I think that I clealy have unspecified dissociation symptoms ot full depersonalization thing. Actually in the case of physical and mental illnesses are some mysterious and not really specified cases that are close to main diagnosis, but not fully fit particular one. Thanks for letting me know about DDNOS. I guess this is that what I was looking for my self-diagnosis. Love and peace for You ALL from my confused heart and twisted mind-just from ME Oh...! Well hey, you're very welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you a bit. I warmly recommend you find a secular therapist specialized in trauma and dissociation, it responds very well to therapy in the long run. It's even better if you find someone who understands the effect of religions/cults on people. If you're like me, there's a part of you still really wanting to believe (or actually firmly believing) in God/Jesus and that's what helps you act Christian. It's okay. Everyone takes their time to reach peace in these things, including parts of the mind. My last part like that only recently deconverted, despite me losing my faith about two years ago! She ended up having different reasons for it than I did, too. It's not worth it living your life pretending from day to day that you're like someone else, such as the people at church (unless your actual safety depends on it). It won't make you as a whole happy, despite them telling you that it will. At worst you will end up being told your problems are Satan's work and exorcism is the cure - I was basically told this, which really really bugged my last believing part, as she feels the other parts are her sisters, not evil spirits. Virtual hugs and best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insightful Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 This is a fantastic thread! I love hearing everyone open up. I really enjoyed the posts by Margee and Fuego. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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