♦ nivek ♦ Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 You Might Be a Terrorist If... If you have a family member who lives in any part of the middle east, and you call him or her on a regular basis (regardless of whether you know they work for al Qaeda), you might be a terrorist. If you post anonymously to Internet discussion forums, you might be a terrorist. If you buy more than the federally approved amount of pseudoephedrine, or if you protest having to show your papers to buy ANY amount, you might be a terrorist. If you attempt to board an aircraft without showing your papers, you might be a terrorist. If you attempt to buy a one-way airline ticket in cash, you might be a terrorist. If you read the "wrong kind" of books or periodicals at the local library, you might be a terrorist. If the customer surveillance records at your local grocery store show that you've bought an "unusual amount" of cleaning supplies, you might be a terrorist. If you insist on dealing in cash for all of your financial transactions, and you could scarcely care less about your FICO score, you might be a terrorist. If you would rather barter for goods or services than to deal in cash, you might be a terrorist. If you put more than the federally prescribed amount of money in your bank account, or use the amount accrued therein as a lump-sum payment on your debts in excess of your "normal" amount, you might be a terrorist. If you refuse to have or maintain a bank account at all, you might be a terrorist. If your opinions regarding United States foreign policy differ in the slightest degree from the "conservative" party line, you might be a terrorist--or, worse yet, a dreaded LIBERAL! If you believe in a strict interpretation of the Constitution, or one which differs in the slightest degree from how you are TOLD to interpret same by "conservative" party hacks, you might be a terrorist. If you can recite the first ten amendments to the Constitution and can explain what each of them attempts to secure/protect, you might be a terrorist. If you specifically attempt to assert your second amendment rights in any other manner than that allowed by government, not only ARE you a terrorist, but you will ultimately be summarily executed as one. If you oppose ANY demand for the surrender of your personal property as such may be used for purposes of "identification (e.g., fingerprints, blood/urine samples, genetic information, etc.)," you might be a terrorist. If you object to ANY warrantless invasion of your privacy/property, you might be a terrorist. If, without evidence or due process of law, George "Dubya" Bush decrees that you are, you might be a terrorist. If you oppose the jingoistic war du jour being waged under the guise of "liberating" X country from X, you might be a terrorist. "You might be a terrorist if you have ever .......well let's admit it, we probably all are terrorists, it's just that the Pentagon hasn't gotten around to starting a file on us yet."-- ANONYMOUS :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Nice... I think I will post this on my door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Add this to your list, nivek: you might be a terrorist if you pay your credit card bill. They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn't move until the threat alert is lifted. Walter called television stations, the American Civil Liberties Union and me. And he went on the Internet to see what he could learn. He learned about changes in something called the Bank Privacy Act. "The more I'm on, the scarier it gets," he said. "It's scary how easily someone in Homeland Security can get permission to spy." I feel safer already! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 So people can't pay their debt without getting investigated by the homeland security department? Can everyone give me a hearty 'WHAT THE FUCK?!!' How the heck does that infringe national security? Your government is starting to feel a wee bit too '1984' for me, I'm glad I'm in Canada. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lothartx Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Fascinating. I typically do that regularly due to selling stock etc or getting bonuses etc. I will pay the min and then pay off the balance, rinse, repeat. Never had Donald Rumsfield call me yet...but then again he probably doesn't know about my two spud guns. Well up to now... Hi Donald and you fun folks at Heimatland Sicherheit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Don't forget wearing Casio watches. Cheap Watches Trouble for Gitmo Prisoners Our govt. is arresting people simply for being Muslim and wearing a watch? This is insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts