Do You Ever Miss It?

[Guest Kari]

I suppose I came to this site in search of people like me- former christians, heartbroken or otherwise bereaved because of their once strong faith. But it seems that all I can find is subjective "proof" that the Bible and what it teaches are incorrect, along with the Christian faith.

 

I don't mean to say that I believe the Bible to be correct, or that I believe God to be the One True Lord, or that I believe we all need to repent and be baptized, or any of that.

 

I just feel so empty and lost, and I feel like I am the only person that feels this way.

 

I look around and I see cynics, and mockers, and angry ex-christians, and I just don't seem to fit into any of it.

 

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

 

And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

 

The Christians would say, "Of course you can go back! God loves and wants you, you're so precious, just bow your head and say this prayer, and everything will be fine."

 

But I've bowed my head, and I have prayed that prayer, and I've cried real, genuine tears of repentance and dedication, and re-dedication, and every time, I end up back on the outside of where I was trying to be.

 

Many of you might say that I am overly emotional, and not logical enough. And I'm sure you're right, but it's something I just can't get out of.

 

I just want to have somebody to talk to, that knows how I feel, that has been where I have been, and that feels the same heartache as I do.

 

Here's hoping...

[saxyroze]

Wow, a few months ago I was where you are. Not knowing what to believe, where to go…only knowing you can’t go back. I’m now fine and comfortable where I am mentally but I had to do a lot of soul searching, learning, and researching to get where I am right now. I found that by taking a Philosophy of Religion class helped me out a lot! It made me think more deeply and profoundly about religion as a whole, not just Christianity. So, if you’re in any position to take such a class, I highly recommend it.

 

Also, do some research about other religions. Maybe Christianity wasn’t for you but maybe you’ll find that another, different religion is what you’re really looking for. A book that helped me learn about world religions is The World’s Religions by Huston Smith. Very good, insightful and well balanced book.

 

Not everyone here is a mad, cynical ex-Christian. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. I hope I help at least a little bit!

[Guest Kari]

Thanks for the reply!

 

I do think that looking further into world religions will help me, though I think holding conversation with somebody that is currently in my position would help even more.

 

Most of my friends are either devout christians or completely non-religious, my parents are the sort of vocal, but not active religious that comes with catholic upbringing, and my sisters are both very secular.

 

My boyfriend is also completely nonreligious, and he always has been.

 

It's so hard to find somebody who really understands, so I am glad that you replied.

[SkepticOfBible]

Thanks for the reply!

 

I do think that looking further into world religions will help me, though I think holding conversation with somebody that is currently in my position would help even more.

 

Most of my friends are either devout christians or completely non-religious, my parents are the sort of vocal, but not active religious that comes with catholic upbringing, and my sisters are both very secular.

 

My boyfriend is also completely nonreligious, and he always has been.

 

It's so hard to find somebody who really understands, so I am glad that you replied.

Try communicating in the Ex-Christian life section of the forum. the colloseum is meant for debate.

 

Mod can we shift to the "Ex-Christian Life", so that we can help our friend better

[pandora]

While I am pretty secure in what I believe (I believe we just can'`'t know and I have come to be comfortable with that)... I can relate to you. I was there too at one point. I am not an angry exc either... so I don't fit in with many of the people here. Having a religion major, I tend to be more sympathetic to those who are still Christians or have a faith in something, because that is their right and because I have a great deal of respect for people of faith, even if I believe that theere may not be a god. Excs with faith aren't dogmatic or evangelical about it, so I don't see a need to bother them, as for the angry self righteous Christians, well, I merely feel sorry for them and I don't like to rant about that kind of stuff because they are people too. I don't think its right to treat them like crap just because they are still caught up in their dogmatic views and try to evangelize us. They are doing what they think they should. I dno't talk to them mostly, and when I do, I just ask a few pointed questions...

 

Live and let live. I don't believe in revenge... just because we were mistreated doesn't mean we have the right to mistreat them.

 

Don't let the negative aura that pervades this site discourage you... find your own path. Ask questions to us.

[Lycorth]

Welcome, Kari

 

There were times I felt the same way, missed my old faith and missed the feelings I got from it. On one hand, it's easy to just dismiss it all as being away from something I was unaccustomed to, and there is certainly something to that. You don't just leave something you were once strongly attached to without some sort of feelings for it. I may have realized what bunk Xianity is, but the old feelings of being part of something "big and secure" were nice ones, and certainly among my better memories of my time as a Xian.

 

Of course, I can lay on the spiel about it being an emotionally-based reaction that will fade with time. To a very large degree, it will - I may still remember fondly what it felt like to engage in the practice of my religion, but my knowledge of what it is as opposed to what I was pretending it was still trumps all. Being a medievalist, it was something special for me to go into church (I was Catholic) and feel like I was part of something that has basically survived from medieval times till now, but in the end I know I can't go back to that. I just know too much and really can't be comofrtable tricking myself or playing make-believe; it is what is also keeping me from completely accepting Heathenism. I am mostly Slavic in ancestry, and also part Germanic, so I have two rich ancestral Heathen traditions to look to if I want a replacement for Xianity. Part of me would love to really say I am a worshipper of Svarog or that I am wearing an amulet of Thor's Hammer because he is my god, but in the end I know I can't deceive myself. I know there is no real evidence of any gods having manifested themselves to humanity, and I am less comfortable ignoring the facts than I am in play-acting a religion.

 

So yes, there are times I miss it, miss the good experiences I had as a Xian. I may detest the religion now, but when I saw it through my own eyes, it was very pleasant for me. Perhaps my spirit has gone through a "second birth" of its own, and from the necessary primordial chaos of Deism I will evolve into something else, but that's for the future to reveal. No matter how Heathenish I feel, I am comfortable being a Deist with no real use for religion anymore, and don't intend to let anything other than reason and truth be my guides. Everything pans out in the end, so long as we never lose our grip on those two things.

 

You'll find your path one day. Welcome to the boards, and I am sure you will do some good pathfnding work here

[queenie]

Kari, your timing couldn't have been more perfect. I've been strugging with these feelings for quite some time. Out of the church for 6 years, after being a music minister and revolving my life around church, the faith, the life, I've been slowly coming to a new sense of belief and disbelief. I've never quite been able to understand or relate to the anger I'm finding even on the "Ex-C" side of things, and I have many reasons to be angry. I'm not interested in going into them here b/c I find that only solidifies the negative and I'm fed up with resting in that.

 

I was just at a funeral yesterday. My aunt passed after a long haul with cancer. It was a bittersweet family reunion of sorts, and the funeral itself was a traditional Methodist type of service, just as my aunt would have wanted it to be. Just what fed her faith throughout her life. It guided her as a parent, as a grandmother, as an aunt and as a wife, both the wife of an alcoholic and then with her second husband. It's also what helped her through her illness, as well as helping those family members who helped care for her.

 

While the specific words spoken weren't something I specifically could buy into anymore, I must admit in finding comfort in them. And not just the "she's in a better place" kind of talk either. Yes, there were scriptures read that made me squirm, yes, there were phrases said that I thought, "Now...hang on a tick," but overall...it was simply beautiful.

 

And so it sets me on end. It makes me wonder and question and pull and tug at the decisions I've made and the beliefs I now adhere to. And while part of me is frustrated with that, part of me figures that probably means I'm on the right course. Something so deep, so personal, so much a part of our lives at one time just doesn't seem to be something that we cut off with a scalpel. It's not an appendage, it's the road upon which we walk. A road we'll walk the remainder of our days, so twists and turns and hills and valleys in that journey are probably a good, expected and useful thing.

 

I've never reached out to a stranger here like this, but between your timing and your expressed thoughts, I feel we could have much to talk about. PM me, if you wish. I've longed for someone more in the middle of the road myself.

[Reach]

Mod can we shift to the "Ex-Christian Life", so that we can help our friend better

Done.

 

Kari, you aren't the only former Christian who has had her heart broken when she woke up to discover that her entire belief system had collapsed. There is some mourning involved. The death of something you loved. The loss of a blissful eternity. Time will help but you may have to live with some grief for the rest of your life. I don't know how long the grieving process lasts but I have found a way to navigate those waters without drowning in them. One day at a time. You are not alone in this. Many of us here have suffered through the same agonizing sense of loss. You might try reading some of the philosophers. You will discover that they wrestled with the same sense of loss and emptiness, purposeless and unanswered questions. It does get easier with time as we learn to accept what we cannot change. Hang in there.

 

Where ignorance once liberated us, knowledge holds us captive. I wish you well.

-Reach

[LosingMyReligion]

I suppose I came to this site in search of people like me- former christians, heartbroken or otherwise bereaved because of their once strong faith. But it seems that all I can find is subjective "proof" that the Bible and what it teaches are incorrect, along with the Christian faith.

 

I don't mean to say that I believe the Bible to be correct, or that I believe God to be the One True Lord, or that I believe we all need to repent and be baptized, or any of that.

 

I just feel so empty and lost, and I feel like I am the only person that feels this way.

 

I look around and I see cynics, and mockers, and angry ex-christians, and I just don't seem to fit into any of it.

 

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

 

And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

 

The Christians would say, "Of course you can go back! God loves and wants you, you're so precious, just bow your head and say this prayer, and everything will be fine."

 

But I've bowed my head, and I have prayed that prayer, and I've cried real, genuine tears of repentance and dedication, and re-dedication, and every time, I end up back on the outside of where I was trying to be.

 

Many of you might say that I am overly emotional, and not logical enough. And I'm sure you're right, but it's something I just can't get out of.

 

I just want to have somebody to talk to, that knows how I feel, that has been where I have been, and that feels the same heartache as I do.

 

Here's hoping...

 

 

Kari, I know how you feel. I'm going through the exact samething. I don't have any anger or cynicism towards the faith. Admittedly, I am bitter because everything I've believed seems like a huge lie...Furthermore, the faith does not accept me because of something as inconsequential as my sexual preference.

 

I won't lie. Sometimes I do miss it. Christians are well known for being intolerant of others...But when you are a Christian and inside the fold you feel as though you are really apart of something.

 

Most of the time I truly believed, but as I got older and started coming to terms with who I AM Christianity felt like pretend to me...

 

I never thought I would see the day when I would renounce Jesus Christ as lord and savior. I truly and legitimately believed that he saved my life and could change me...

But, it was the love and acceptance that I finally achieved from my family members and alot of the church that helped me...I finally felt worthy because I was apart of something that I thought was special and unique.

 

Believe me, I tried to hang on. In some instances I keep on trying to hang on...But my truth has come since I learned to let go.

 

It is such a hard process, but we will both learn to cope. And it is great if we all do it together.

[Amanda]

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

 

And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

Hi Kari!

 

I can understand how you are feeling. You can be assured that you have come to the right place, here. May I recommend that you begin participating in these forums... sharing your sincere comments and receiving many other perspectives, and allow yourself to be evolving into what is best for you, in the best timing for you. Researching for yourself these many points that you've never considered, exploring new philosophies, and assimilating new-found information has a way of naturally and gently transforming. You may NOT want to throw away EVERYTHING you've come to appreciate in Christianity... however, why linger onto ideas and beliefs that have no rational validity nor benefits in your life? I think everyone on this site is transforming, growing in a positive direction, and maybe you, like me, can come to consider ExC your church? :wink:

[Eponymic]

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

 

And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

 

There are people similar to you around here.

 

It really is the hardest part of leaving Christianity in my opinion. You basically have to establish a whole new social network. You have to find more people with like minded views & personalities to help solidify the fact that you've made the right choice.

 

Luckily you found us, which is a big help. There is a large wealth of information & a variety of personalities to learn from & relate to.

 

Hope your journey begins to smooth out from here.

[thunderbolt]

Hi Kari – welcome here.

 

I honestly remember those frantic first couple of weeks after saying ta-ta to Christianity. I was insanely and feverishly trying to gather all the “facts” and truth to validate that I was right down to the minutest detail. I needed every little contradiction detailed, until I realized it doesn’t work that way.

 

The thing you must allows yourself at this point is time. It’s a new part of your journey as a human being, and life has this funny thing of working itself out. But in the interim, please fire away with any questions and or support you may need. Most people here are friendly, kind and thoughtful when approached in the same manner, even if they don’t reach the same conclusions as you.

 

The “negative” posts you read are just our rants and blowing off steam about things that bother us, but I have learned to separate rants from serious discussions, not that the rants are often just as serious. And the interesting thing is, the first couple of weeks here, I wanted to bash every fucking Christian’s head, because I found a place where that would not be thought weird. But somehow, I have more patience with them since being here, because I realize they were me once. I still get pissed off, but I work hard trying to talk with people and not to them. I am learning …

 

Edit: grammar, always the damn grammar.

[Mythra]

Heya Kari. Like everyone else has said, we were where you are at one time. It's very scary, very confusing. Disillusionment sucks.

 

It's temporary.

 

Most of us have gotten to the point now where we can successfully say that we have escaped religion. We may be sarcastic or cynical or downright disrespectful of Christianity now. I think that's a natural reaction to having held it in such high esteem for so long - and realizing we'd been duped.

 

What do I miss about it? Truthfully?

 

A sense of security.

 

It's kind of like quitting a nice cushy government job in order to start your own business.

 

Scary.

 

But, it's more rewarding to run your own business.

[knowmad]

I suppose I came to this site in search of people like me- former christians, heartbroken or otherwise bereaved because of their once strong faith. But it seems that all I can find is subjective "proof" that the Bible and what it teaches are incorrect, along with the Christian faith.

I look around and I see cynics, and mockers, and angry ex-christians, and I just don't seem to fit into any of it.

Greets Kari, I for one was never heart broken or bereaved when I deconverted. To me it was a logical decision that only took 10 minutes to make that final transition.

I suffer not at the loss of my former faith but at the realisation that I used to see myself as god saw me and when I removed his perception of me I was left with my original perception that I was/am a total waste of space. I identified with what god and others perceive me to be and that's dangerous.

 

When religion says that "once we were lost and now we are found", well that's complete bullshit.

It should read," Once were were lost and now we are still lost but in a new surrounding."

So any grieving on my part is dealing with this self perception regardless of what higher power or group I find myself interacting with.

 

I notice in your post that you seem to want to identify with something greater than yourself, be it a god or a group and you state that you don't fit into any of them.

Well why should you and why does that trouble you that you don't fit in ?

The only person I identify with here so far is Clearview, but thats not why I exist.

 

We may find a form of peace and security within this mindset but we never find ourselves in them.

Losing or rejecting one's faith goes through the same process when one's loses a loved one either by death or relationship.

The process we go through is denial, bargaining, anger and finally acceptance.

As you have already observed many of us here are still in the anger stage and many of us may stay in one of these sub process'

 

Denial, because life is warm and fussy in that realm the same as if you stay medicated.

Anger, because it makes us feel powerful and or it lifts the burdens as we unload our pain.

Yet the anger expresse dby most of us here is merely a transferance of self anger at being so stupid to be duped by religion and even that isn't grounds to be angry because we chose to follow religion, waste of time staying angry, better to process the anger and move on.

Bargaining, not many people stay here because it's a wimpy place and we begin to see how pathetic bargaining is which of course gives rise to the anger stage.

Acceptance, ah that's the place to get to and the paths to reach it are as unique as each person is on this fucked up planet.

I just feel so empty and lost, and I feel like I am the only person that feels this way.

Others have already stated that you are not the only one who feels this way and it's true, whether they admit it or not EVERYONE feels lost and or empty sometime in their life.

But let me ask you this Kari, if you were the only person on earth that felt the way you do and no one could sympathise with you, what would you do to fix the inner turmoil ?

Why does identifying with others bring relief ?

How about identifying with oneself, to be totally secure in one's own perception of oneself that outside influences are not sought or needed ? An extreme version of self confidence so to speak.

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to. And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

How about believing in yourself, raise your hands in worship to yourself for being a person who is capable of great things ?

And I'd be asking myself why I want to go back to what I once had.

Many of you might say that I am overly emotional, and not logical enough. And I'm sure you're right, but it's something I just can't get out of.

The only time being emotional is a problem is when we don't stop to logically see why we are emotional, that's the balance, we are emotional creatures and we are logical as well.

Emotions are but signs/signals we express to show ourselves what's going on deep within and we have the ability to understand why we do these things so we may have control over our lives.

Emotions and logic are neither negatives or positives, they are two parts of the many parts of us that should work together to form the complete whole, but if we let one of them rule we will reap negative results.

 

But with that said, Of course you will be more emotional at this time in your life and I say go for it, let the emotions flow just know that you can't stay in that process forever.

Emotions serve us, not the other way around.

Oh yeah, regarding the balance of emotion and logic.

We don't have to be logical and emotional at the same time, that's just stupid.

But given a set time frame we try to be balanced in all things depending on the personality type we are.

Go through a season of emotion but balance it with a season of logic.

And replace logic with reasoning because emotions are a logical response to life anyway.

 

So in closing Kari, know thyself because you're worth knowing.

[SBeeland]

I suppose I came to this site in search of people like me- former christians, heartbroken or otherwise bereaved because of their once strong faith. But it seems that all I can find is subjective "proof" that the Bible and what it teaches are incorrect, along with the Christian faith.

 

I don't mean to say that I believe the Bible to be correct, or that I believe God to be the One True Lord, or that I believe we all need to repent and be baptized, or any of that.

 

I just feel so empty and lost, and I feel like I am the only person that feels this way.

 

I look around and I see cynics, and mockers, and angry ex-christians, and I just don't seem to fit into any of it.

 

The truth is that I don't know what I believe. The truth is that it hurts me, it breaks me to think that I will never raise my hands in worship again. It hurts me to know that I can't go back, even if I wanted to.

 

And sometimes, I want to more than anything.

 

The Christians would say, "Of course you can go back! God loves and wants you, you're so precious, just bow your head and say this prayer, and everything will be fine."

 

But I've bowed my head, and I have prayed that prayer, and I've cried real, genuine tears of repentance and dedication, and re-dedication, and every time, I end up back on the outside of where I was trying to be.

 

Many of you might say that I am overly emotional, and not logical enough. And I'm sure you're right, but it's something I just can't get out of.

 

I just want to have somebody to talk to, that knows how I feel, that has been where I have been, and that feels the same heartache as I do.

 

Here's hoping...

 

I can't really say anything except I understand how you feel too. I've found that coming here and seeing other people who think the same way helps a lot.

[white_raven23]

I've got to ask........

 

"Was it REALLY that good?"

 

Think about that.

 

I left my church long before I abandonded the religion. Tried other churches, but found a lot of the same thing. Cliques, malicious gossipers, manipulators, and enough hypocrisy to sink the Titanic a second time.

 

Because being accepted by what I imagined were supposed to be my "peers" in faith was such a hard road....those times I did feel accepted seemed that much more powerful and wonderful than they really were. Like tossing a dirty cracker to a starving person. If you have to work that hard to be deemed "acceptable" just what kind of friendship, fellowship, compassion, and caring do you call that?

 

And how much more wonderful is it to be accepted by people who are willing to love you and accept you? Questions and all? When you asked questions in church....were they really answered? And were more questions truly encouraged?

 

Real friends want to see their friends reach their own potential. To grow and learn, and share new insights.

 

Have your christian friends abandoned you? It kinda sounds like it. You really think it was all you turning your back on them? Try going to your old church.....as you are now, for some event or something. Observe your old friends. After they have ascertained whether or not you believe again....is the friendship level the same as before?

 

A real friend stands by you. They don't vanish because you decided not to believe in talking snakes and magic fruit anymore.

[Lycorth]

Well put, WR. Real friends don't go *poof* just because you've decided to abandon belief in something you cannot make yourself accept. A real friend would appreciate that you're being honest with yourself and would try to understand your side of things politely, not flip out and put their religion before you.

 

Basically, a true friend does not put an imaginary friend before a real-and-present one. The proof's in the pudding and the devil (hehe) is in the details. I thought I was going to lose a friend recently over my deconversion, but she's rather trying to accept all the "changes" graciously. I know she really wants to talk about religion with me, but she's clearly not comfy with that thought yet. So of course I don't bother bringing it up - religion is not the center of my life anymore.

 

In time, all will be revealed, for good or ill.

[Evelyn]

Welcome, Kari!

 

I deconverted a little more than a year ago. Sometimes I have felt empty and/or lost because a major part of my life has changed. It takes some getting used to. Stepping out from a former comfort zone is scary. We all here on X-C have struggled or are struggling with this. Some jump out and say "woohoo, I'm free" and it's easy. Some, like me, walk out, feel free and giddy, then feel odd, wonder what life is all about, find that thoughts/beliefs/feelings evolve, and wonder what the next curve in the road will bring.

 

I had gotten rather "cold" in my spiritual life before I left xianity, so I think my mourning of my loss of faith was a long time ago. I did go through the mourning of disillusionment and occasionally feel a bit lost as I continue on my spiritual journey, wherever it goes.

 

Stick around, I think you will find your place here.

[Rosa Mystica]

Hi Kari,

 

To answer your question, yes I do miss my faith a lot. Of course, I'm new to disbelief (in Christianity, not God. I'm a strong theist). Does it hurt me? You had better believe it.

 

In all honesty, I really don't know what to advise about dealing with the loss of faith. I'm hardly able to deal with my own deconversion. I will say one thing about never going back, though: one can never really tell what will happen in the future. Sometimes people *do* go back to belief. Sometimes they do not. Whether you will or not something you will ultimately decide for yourself. But, if there's one thing I've learned throughout this painful process, it's that one should never make presumptions about anything. I presumed I would always be a devout Catholic. I was dead wrong.

 

Re: cynics: not everyone here is a cynic/mocker. I'm not. I still have some respect left for the Church (though not in all areas, mind you). That being said, I know how much religious discrimination hurts. That's why you won't hear me mocking those who hold different beliefs than I do (including fundamentalists). I think it's possible to voice your disagreement with a certain position without mocking the one who holds the opposing viewpoints. Losing my faith has actually made me more aware of the need to be respectful of different religions (interestingly enough).

 

I hope that you will enjoy your stay here at ex-C. And if you need to talk, my pm box is always open. It may turn out that you and I have a lot in common after all.

 

Take care, sweetie.

 

Rosa

[SkepticOfBible]

Hi Kari – welcome here.

 

I honestly remember those frantic first couple of weeks after saying ta-ta to Christianity. I was insanely and feverishly trying to gather all the “facts” and truth to validate that I was right down to the minutest detail. I needed every little contradiction detailed, until I realized it doesn’t work that way.

 

I was also in a similar manner, when I first looked at the claims of christianity. Before I was following a "All religion leads to one place" kind of theology. However that worldview of mine was challenged by coming in contact with fundie christianity.

 

It was quite disturbing for me know that the bible was infact the source of some of the major social problem of our world, such as slavery, woman secondary status, holocaust. I actually cried when I read Psalm 137. I just couldn't believe "god" was capable of ordering such bullshit. Offcourse now I realise, that this isn't "god", but people writing about their "god", just like any other world religion.

 

Kari,

 

I hope you don't mistake our skeptism with cynicism. I used to think like that before.

[Guest questioner4]

I understand where you're coming from, Kari. Sometimes, all the anger, bitterness, mocking, and cussing from some of the ex-Christians here bothers me - because it just gives the Fundies ammo to believe that all non-Christians are 'Christ-haters' and lack morals. So it's always nice to hear from ex-Christians who can show their dissatisfaction or disagreement with Christianity without resorting to cussing, namecalling, and mockery.

 

Right now, I learn towards belief in reincarnation and truth in all religions, including Christianity. I've also been doing some research in Progressive Christianity and Esoteric Christianity. One of my biggest fears, though, is with hell - and I do sometimes worry that the Fundies might be right. That's why I like to read about people with past life memories - and those past life memories being verified. It provides firm evidence for reincarnation, and helps to quell my fears of hell.

[YDOAPS]

sometimes i get depressed by secular existentialism. religion tends to wrap things up in a bow. that's about it, though.

 

i remember that i am now capable of using my brain and i'm okay.

[LosingMyReligion]

I think the sad part is that the majority of us stayed with the religion because we were afraid of roasting in hell.

Even when I had long since grown tired of Christianity I kept on going to church and paying tithes because I was really afraid.

 

I remember a few years ago I was having a hard time getting a summer job. My mother told me that god would not bless me with a job until I paid tithes...I actually believed that.

 

That is the main thing that i hate about Christianity, the scare tactics. And most preachers and evangelists in church will tell you that they are trying to "scare people to heaven." Those jerk offs...

Yes, I do have some anger towards the church. I will not even deny that.

Why would a loving god send a loving law abiding citizen to hell?