Real world reasons for Biblical stories

[Wertbag]

I’ve been collecting real world explanations for the Bible stories.  Now of course “didn’t happen” or “made it up” are the most likely answers for most of it, but I’m looking for potential non-supernatural reasons.

 

Ones that I’ve heard:

Sodom – The ancient city was built in a volcanic crater.  In those days the resource that mattered most was fresh water and the water catchment of a crater made it a great spot.  Foreign visitors who knew that the earthquakes going on was a sign of impending eruption, warned a family to flee.  People who save your family you would call angels.  Lot tells his wife not to look back, keep running so you aren’t hurt by the falling rocks.  She was too stunned by the destruction and stopped to gawk.  Lot returned and carved a memorial statue to his wife in basalt.

 

Noah’s flood – Obviously a local version, kept animals that mattered (eg domestic only) and the when they say the lands were covered, while they may have been as far as the eye could see didn’t mean the whole world.  Several major events such as the collapse of the Gibraltar land bridge to Africa which may have created the Mediterranean, or the stories recounted by the humans who lived through the end of the ice age would account for similar flood stories in many cultures.

 

Samson – What if the jaw bone used as a weapon was fitted to a handle?  A club or axe made from bone was very common, so he could have “used a jaw bone” while swinging a beautifully made weapon of war.  As a great soldier he could have racked up an impressive amount of kills verse the hordes of untrained slaves and peasants forcefully conscripted.  As for cutting his hair taking his power, if he was famous for having flowing locks then when he had his hair cut and died in the next battle people could link the two unrelated events.  Alternatively if he was convinced that his hair was the source of his power then having it cut could have destroyed his self-confidence which in a life or death struggle could be enough to make the difference.

 

Jericho – The story of the army circling the besieged city of Jericho and after enough days the walls collapsed could be perfectly answered by sappers.  Often in sieges the armies would tunnel underneath the walls of a caste/city, so that they could destroy the supports and bring a section of wall down.  By having your army march and make a lot of noise you would cover the sounds of the sappers working beneath the defenders feet.  Then once all preparations are done you burn the wooden beams that is all that is holding up the tunnel and cause a collapse at a time of your choosing.

 

One hilarious suggestion I heard was Jesus was a vampire.  The whole drink my blood and get eternal life probably started it, but raising from the dead, walking on water and healing the sick all could be explained.  Plus the roman solider who stabbed him on the cross was attempting to drive a wooden stake into his heart.  Amusing how it does fit but it does just replace one supernatural being with another.

 

Anyone heard of other stories that could fit this category?

[Daffodil]

There are many people who believe the 10 plagues associated with Moses actually happened but can be explained by science.  There are different theories depending on when the events took place, but one involves the Minoan eruption that lead to a cascade effect that could explain each and every plague - even the one that took only the firstborn!  Pretty fascinating stuff!

[florduh]

It seems to me that assuming any of the rather unlikely scenarios presented in Bible stories are true in the first place and then looking for possible natural explanations is a waste of time. We might as well try to explain how such fantastic things occurred at Hogwarts. It's magic in both instances.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

1 hour ago, florduh said:

It seems to me that assuming any of the rather unlikely scenarios presented in Bible stories are true in the first place and then looking for possible natural explanations is a waste of time. We might as well try to explain how such fantastic things occurred at Hogwarts. It's magic in both instances.

But a really strong wind could push the waters of the Red Sea up into a wall.  Didn't you see Kent Hovind's demonstration with the fan and the tub?  Fucking SCIENCE, bitches!

[MOHO]

4 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

But a really strong wind could push the waters of the Red Sea up into a wall.  Didn't you see Kent Hovind's demonstration with the fan and the tub?  Fucking SCIENCE, bitches!

 

That's some funny shit, Prof!

 

I like the vampire comment in the OP too. God and Jesus are non existent but vampires are REAL!

Fuck me!

[Wertbag]

7 hours ago, florduh said:

It seems to me that assuming any of the rather unlikely scenarios presented in Bible stories are true in the first place and then looking for possible natural explanations is a waste of time. We might as well try to explain how such fantastic things occurred at Hogwarts. It's magic in both instances.

I disagree, we know Christianity stole plenty of things rather than making up everything from scratch. Xmas and Easter, epic of Gilgamesh etc. Using other religions ideas helps intergrate other groups. 

[Wittyusername]

This is really interesting. Hodgepodge of Chinese whispers cobbled together form a religion.