Old diaries

[yunea]

Today I remembered an old private online journal I used to write in. I went ahead and checked if I still knew the username and password, and I did.

 

That thing... I started it right in the middle of my most intense times as a Pente.

 

I've written about reading Psalm 139 in front of the congregation, and lots of things I thought were guidance after guidance. I also wrote about memory problems quite a bit but attributed them to God working on my brain. Falling to the floor during prayer and feeling so intense that I almost wanted to throw up. Walking around my room after praying there with my friends and shivering when moving over the spots where they sat. 

 

Many entries of just prayers, thanking God that I can praise him. I also mention many times that I wanted to feel God in church so I for example knelt down to wait, and then, in a matter of minutes, would be screaming in tongues feeling like I couldn't control it. So strange what one's brain can do when it's important enough.

 

I actually have a several month long gap in my memory from those days, so I am hoping to find some journal entries that'll help me connect the dots. 

[yunea]

Now I found an entry where I describe the Pentecostal ministers running around the church laughing, and hugging everyone after service. I'd thought my church wasn't THAT weird...

[Geezer]

 

I have no personal experience with the Penecostal faith, but from what I do know about them I'd have to put them at the top of the list for over the top religions. I would have classified them as bat shit crazy but that seemed a little harsh. 

[yunea]

Well yeah, I appear to just have forgotten the craziest junk. Apparently I've written lots of that kind of stuff. That very church still broadcasts their services and they've calmed down a lot. All their music is now sad and slow, for example, when way back then they had all these songs that made you want to jump around.

[Jeff]

Bat-shit crazy is about right. 

I have seen things... ?

... and done a few things ?

 

But not anymore??