Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Sometimes I have some of those televangelist shows on and usually it's the same Revelations bullshit, but today I came across a real gem. The televangelist (Covenant International Church) was talking about the importance of giving 10% of your earnings to God because you're otherwise robbing God of his money. That money was originally God's and it should be given to him (somewhere in Leviticus) and the reason people have money problems is because God has cursed them for keeping the money to themselves or not giving enough. It was a real eye-roller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I love it when I hear about tithing. When I was Catholic, we had at least one collection per Mass, usually two, but nothing about how much should go in - just give as much as you could. Priests gave "give-money" speeches all the time, but never linked it to the Babblical stuff about tithing. I got lucky to have been born and raised where and when I did, really. The notion that we are somehow "stealing" the Lard's money is just plain stupid. What in the hell is a god, a noncorporeal life form, going to do with money? All it reflects, to me, is a clever scheme by a religious institution to get their hands on free money, to pay their bills and line their pockets with. Hell, I am a hard working man barely making ends meet, and the Lard is the one who can't do without my money? If Gawd needs the money so badly, he should get a job like everyone else and not expect handouts, the lazy bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 What I think is most interesting is that people do the tithing deal yet they don't cover their children's college educations and have all their credit cards maxed to the hilt. I guess when the bill collectors call, they tell them, "Well, God need the money..." My grandfather was catholic but stopped going to church because he said, "All those assholes want is money. I guess you can just buy your way into heaven." And with that, it was end of his church going career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Tithing = modern "indulgences" Martin Luther......foiled! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 It reminds me of this In Living Color skit (it's on the second season DVD) where Jim Carey and Damon Wayans (I think it was him) are tag-team televangelists who constantly shove tithes into their speaches, kick out members whose checks bounce, and then rob the congregation at the end when they don't get enough money ("we tried doing it the Lord's way, but now we're doing it the south Compton way.") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Of all the bullshit crap in the old testament, the only one the televangeconartists harp on is tithing. Is that surprising? They are all living better than probably anyone on this forum. I've thought about getting into the sheep fleecing business myself on occasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Grrrrr, tithing. I'm still mad at how much money I threw away...went without much in my savings account in order to give 10% of my gross...special offerings on top of that...no money to start a 401k....grrrrr. Since leaving Christianity 4 years ago, I've built up my savings, paid off almost all of my debt, started a 401k, and am finally able to give to some charities and organizations that are truly doing good deeds in the world. I do give some to the Unitarian church I attend, but in no way the amount I gave my former evangelical church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I was not kidding. If you tax the churches, everyone would be a lot better off............. Church = business.... bad business at that. They need to start coughing up the taxes... "Show me the Taxes!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkepticOfBible Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Sometimes I have some of those televangelist shows on and usually it's the same Revelations bullshit, but today I came across a real gem. The televangelist (Covenant International Church) was talking about the importance of giving 10% of your earnings to God because you're otherwise robbing God of his money. That money was originally God's and it should be given to him (somewhere in Leviticus) and the reason people have money problems is because God has cursed them for keeping the money to themselves or not giving enough. It was a real eye-roller. Here is good biblical rebuttal to tithing Give Money Unto God, But Send It To My Address Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narcissist Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Why does this argument apply only to money? God has given us so much more than just money. For example, God gave me a job, friends, family, the sun, the rain, and my semen. Should this argument not also apply to semen as well as money, or everything else? Allow me to demonstrate (with appropriate apologies...) The televangelist (Covenant International Church) was talking about the importance of giving 10% of your semen to God because you're otherwise robbing God of his semen. That semen was originally God's and it should be given to him (somewhere in Leviticus) and the reason people have erection problems is because God has cursed them for keeping the semen to themselves or not giving enough. It was a real eye-roller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Why does this argument apply only to money? God has given us so much more than just money. For example, God gave me a job, friends, family, the sun, the rain, and my semen. Should this argument not also apply to semen as well as money, or everything else? Allow me to demonstrate (with appropriate apologies...) The televangelist (Covenant International Church) was talking about the importance of giving 10% of your semen to God because you're otherwise robbing God of his semen. That semen was originally God's and it should be given to him (somewhere in Leviticus) and the reason people have erection problems is because God has cursed them for keeping the semen to themselves or not giving enough. It was a real eye-roller. That would be unfair! Guys would have something extra to give God, and it would leave us girls out! More proof of male favoritism on God's part, I guess. I have heard of tithing your time. Let's see, 168 hours in a week, of which 16.8 should be given to God. This could include services, Bible studies, witnessing, personal prayer/Bible reading, reading Christian books, volunteering at the Rescue mission....dang, no wonder I was worn out as a Christian! And no time to have a real life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gliph Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Hmm, I don't know. Maybe I can apply the 10% of my time to my ExC studies.... 40 hour work week... so 4 hours a week (at the absolute MINIMUM that my webmaster... um, LORD will except)... I think i'm going to have to start working half days on fridays to take care of this... WOO HOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 That would be unfair! Guys would have something extra to give God, and it would leave us girls out! More proof of male favoritism on God's part, I guess. This is why men try so hard to share their semen with you gals! I know you thought we were just horn dogs trying to get laid, but really, we're trying to give you what you need to fulfill your semen tithes! Yep, us guys are givers. Give, give, give... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I never understood tithing. If god created everything in the universe, in seven days, why in the hell does he need 10% of my crummy salary? I work part-time and attend college full time. I barely have two nickels to rub together...And I'm supposed to give the guy who created the universe something, because he needs it? Didn't he create trees, which in turn make paper, which makes dollar bills? He could make his own money. Now that I'm done being facetious most of the churches are driven by greed. The preachers don't even have real jobs. They all preach for a living. If I were interested in learning the bible I would be a preacher just so I could be as rich and famous as: Billy Graham, T.D. Jakes, and all those other high rollers...It is so ridiculous how they steal from little old women who are willing to give them their last DIME just so they can ride around in fancy cars in the name of god. It is so crazy... Once, I visited a church in my city that a friend invited me too. To make a long story short after the service ended the deacons locked the congregation inside the church. They, literally, would not let anyone leave until they paid tithes...I mean they did not hold us at gun point but if I you even thought about leaving you were going to get the whole, "You aren't going to be blessed stare" from the entire church. I just made out a faux envelope because I was BROKE that day. Amazingly, when I stopped being a Christian I was able to open up a savings account for the first time. I went out and purchased school books with my 10%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Amazingly, when I stopped being a Christian I was able to open up a savings account for the first time. I went out and purchased school books with my 10%. Your money is now best spent. Education is never a useless endeavor! The founding fathers, particularly Thomas Jefferson, would have been very proud of you! Keep up the good work and carry on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I don't see why these holy rollers can't just perform miracles like turning gravel into money. If god needs it why don't he? I mean really, the Bible says that the followers of jeezus can do all sorts of miracles. I see them heal people on TV all the time. Why can't these guys turn rocks into gold or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I don't see why these holy rollers can't just perform miracles like turning gravel into money. This is a very interesting point. One that needs to be pondered with great concentration. If Jesus can make stones bread and water into wine, then why can't xians turn stones into cash? That's a good one, JGJ. You got a 10.0 Perfect Score from me on that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I don't see why these holy rollers can't just perform miracles like turning gravel into money. If god needs it why don't he? I mean really, the Bible says that the followers of jeezus can do all sorts of miracles. I see them heal people on TV all the time. Why can't these guys turn rocks into gold or something? God's too busy turning their dental fillings into gold. That way, their mouth becomes their safety deposit box. The least they could do is put baskets out during their charismatic mania services to collect the gold dust that supposedly wafts down from heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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