garrisonjj Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Just this morning,,,I was pleasntly surprised to find out my wife cares little about religion!!! She has been going through the motions and we both will for the sake of tradition for our children.She doubts if a god exists although she would like to believe. She cares little about my belief or lack of and says thats my business! Fuck! We've both felt the same way all this time,,,,I feel so relieved! I told her my lack of belief is not meant to discourage her,,,as I would never impose my beliefs on her. We both agree that the Bible is a fairy tale,,,and churches are out of touch with reality!!!! See what communication gets you! Relief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Awesome! Congrats. You won't have to struggle in your marriage like many on here have. I was lucky too. My husband followed me in my deconversion, but it took a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Woohoo - great to hear! I am lucky in that my fiancee is also much like I am, and has no desire to be Xian. We are discovering our own spiritual path and it is nice to not be walking that road alone for once. More power to you both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Now you have to decide if church is *really* that beneficial to your children. All those important lessons like cliques and peer approval. "Big Brother" being given the title "friends". Yeah church is a "free" way for your kids to be around other kids.......but the cost (and yeah...there is one), could be at the expense of your child's self-esteem, self-confidence, critical thinking, and not to mention encouraging outdated gender roles! I say put them in a martial arts class instead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Just this morning,,,I was pleasntly surprised to find out my wife cares little about religion!!! She has been going through the motions and we both will for the sake of tradition for our children.She doubts if a god exists although she would like to believe. She cares little about my belief or lack of and says thats my business! Fuck! We've both felt the same way all this time,,,,I feel so relieved! I told her my lack of belief is not meant to discourage her,,,as I would never impose my beliefs on her. We both agree that the Bible is a fairy tale,,,and churches are out of touch with reality!!!! See what communication gets you! Relief It really is a huge relief. I had lead my wife "to the lawd" just a few years before my deconversion. She went through baptism and all that crap. I thought I was going to be in for a fight. But I was honest with her. When she realized my deconversion was real and not a passing phase, she told me how she had really felt. She had never gave a shit one way or the other about church, jesus and all that. She did it for me because it was important to me at the time. She's pretty much agnostic. The hardest part was trying to explain my changing gears to my children. Fortunately, my oldest one doesn't care if there is a god or not. The second oldest still talks about jesus but not as much as before. My other children are too young to remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I say put them in a martial arts class instead! Hell yeah! Once a week karate class could do real wonders for a person. When I can afford it, I'm taking up the art again - if I had to do that once a week instead of going to a pretty building and talking to myself, hoo boy, what a positive difference I know that would've made for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gliph Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Just this morning,,,I was pleasntly surprised to find out my wife cares little about religion!!! She has been going through the motions and we both will for the sake of tradition for our children.She doubts if a god exists although she would like to believe. She cares little about my belief or lack of and says thats my business! Fuck! We've both felt the same way all this time,,,,I feel so relieved! I told her my lack of belief is not meant to discourage her,,,as I would never impose my beliefs on her. We both agree that the Bible is a fairy tale,,,and churches are out of touch with reality!!!! See what communication gets you! Relief WOO HOO!! So glad to hear it, hopefull you can get her in here sometime... Hmm, seems like your Sunday mornings have cleared up, how about then??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I'm happy for you. I wish my wife would tell me that. I have to ask the obvious though, why put your your children through the bullshit when neither of you even believe? Does it make sense to circumcise your son out of tradition as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I'm happy for you. I wish my wife would tell me that. I have to ask the obvious though, why put your your children through the bullshit when neither of you even believe? Does it make sense to circumcise your son out of tradition as well? I would have to agree with this. One of several things could happen. Your children become fundies and try to convert you. They realize you don't believe and its all a lie and wonder why they were put through that. They never know you don't really believe and your funeral is a superchristian service.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 Just this morning,,,I was pleasntly surprised to find out my wife cares little about religion!!! She has been going through the motions and we both will for the sake of tradition for our children. Garrisonjj - congratulations that you and your wife found common ground. I am Christian now, although that has not always been the case. When I was 12/13 years old my parents left Christianity. My mother considers herself Diest. My father is now Christian, but during my teen and early adult years he considered himself agnostic/athiest. Just a perspective from an adult child of two people who left the church while I was a child. My older sister and I continued on in the Catholic school system until graduation - because we were closer to graduation. Our younger siblings transferred to public schools. We all quit going to church when Mom and Dad left, although they gave us children the choice to go without them. After reaching adulthood - at a family get together - our whole family got talking about that period of our life. It came out that Mom and Dad had stopped believing 4-5 years before telling us children. When we (adult children) asked them why they continued to take us to church for so many years after they stopped believing - my mom said that she had "worried" about us kids. They kept going for our sake. Would you like to the know the response of all 6 of us children - when Mom and Dad told us this? We burst into laughter - all of us at the same time. We couldn't believe Mom and Dad had continued "faking it" for us children, 4-5 years after they stopped believing. Mom worried about us kids - and we had hated going to church. We didn't need the traditions of the church, or the morality lessons we got in religion classes. Mom and Dad were quite capable of teaching us right from wrong. And "tradition", well Mom and Dad both appreciate history - and did a wonderful job teaching us tradition in other ways. As far as religious instruction ... my father took it upon himself to teach his children how to read the Bible and the history of Christianity. Trust me - from an adult child's perspective - there is a high chance your children won't care if you take them out of church. In the end you and your wife know best. But, don't sell yourselves short. Whatever your children are learning in church - you can teach them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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