dibby Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Any thoughts on what Jesus would say to the church today? "Woe to you pharisees of the church. You make peoples lives twice as hellish as your own, with your legalistic doctrines. You brood of vipers who fleece the congregation to build empires in my name. Not everyone who says Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom. There is a way that seems right to man but the end of that way is Death." Just then the pastor of the church where Jesus was preaching came with the elders and had him ejected. So Jesus went to the local gay club and spoke to the guys there. Any more ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Any thoughts on what Jesus would say to the church today? "Woe to you pharisees of the church. You make peoples lives twice as hellish as your own, with your legalistic doctrines. You brood of vipers who fleece the congregation to build empires in my name. Not everyone who says Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom. There is a way that seems right to man but the end of that way is Death." Just then the pastor of the church where Jesus was preaching came with the elders and had him ejected. So Jesus went to the local gay club and spoke to the guys there. Any more ideas? I think Jesus would say: "Fuck! How did I get so many of the world's stupidest population following me but all the smart ones are atheist or agnostic? What happened here? Why did I get all the low IQs and no common sense idiots? What did I do wrong?" That's what I think Jesus would say.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 "What....The.....FUCK! *sigh* That's it....I'm goin' to Disneyland." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. If Jebus really existed, you know this is exactly what he'd say to Pat 'Diamond Mine' Robertson. It would almost be worth it if biblegod did exist just to see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 He'd probably pull open a Bible and say "Jesus fucking Christ, when did I ever say this?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 I think Jesus would say: "Fuck! How did I get so many of the world's stupidest population following me but all the smart ones are atheist or agnostic? What happened here? Why did I get all the low IQs and no common sense idiots? What did I do wrong?" That's what I think Jesus would say.... At this time, Jesus would get hit with a revalation of his own... Oh shit! I forgot! After all, I DID come to save the SINNERS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Any thoughts on what Jesus would say to the church today? "Hey, thanks for having created me!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artur Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Any thoughts on what Jesus would say to the church today? Get your heads out of your ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 According to the word of gob, he has already promised to say, "Away from me you workers of iniquity. I never knew you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asuryan Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 "Hey, thanks for having created me!" Best one so far I don't believe he ever existed either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 What would Jesus say? How about this. "Ha Ha. Alright guys jokes over. Get me down. Hey, no shit fellas, get me down! Don't you walk away from me! Get me down now damn it! Oh for God's sake! Get me down!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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