mick Posted March 23, 2006 Posted March 23, 2006 I am going to love my family, wife and 3 kids hard in the mean time. Be ready to describe that mercy will be show to all when they ask (even if mercy is nothing more than the non existense of Hell!) and to be welcoming to them like the Father and the prodigal Son when they tell me they can't follow the faith some day in the future! I do feel for my wife though. She prays soooooooooooooo hard for my youngest child who has autism every day for hours. She cries all the time about, wondering why God won't answer. I love her so much. It hurts me to think that she would see me as having so much less value if I were to tell her I no longer believed. She would actually potentially think it may be why my son doesn't get healed. She actually tells me to be as good as possible or else he might not get healed. It breaks my heart, prevents acceptance, and causes true emotional healing to never come.
Fweethawt Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 God damn it, Mick! This sucks. I can somehow relate to your situation although I've never been in such a one. I do feel for my wife though. She prays soooooooooooooo hard for my youngest child who has autism every day for hours. She cries all the time about, wondering why God won't answer. I love her so much. It hurts me to think that she would see me as having so much less value if I were to tell her I no longer believed. My suggestion to you would be this; get as many books and pieces of literature on the subject of autism (sp?) from the library, bookstore or Internet that you can. Have you wife read as much about the condition that she cares to know, along with the history of said condition. (I.e. how long it has been around'n stuff and how it used to be treated) Somewhere along the line you're probably going to find that the church, or super superstitious people in general used to assign the title, "Outcast", "Evil" or "Possessed" to those types of individuals. Then, eventually, she or you will come to the realization that (for the most part) the church and super superstitious people of modern times are STILL at odds with the sciences that are trying to irradicate this (and many other) conditions. Science is the only hope that humanity has for any type of cure for that condition. It is not YOU that is standing in the way of that. It is the ignorant and superstitious people on this planet who are doing the same thing that she is doing. They either bow their head in prayer which is just another form of self-imposed apathy (or blame searching), or they stand against rational (scientific) advances. You shouldn't get any blame. The REAL culprits are The Believers.
LosingMyReligion Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 How bad is your child's autism? Growing up I was diagnosed with a very mild form of the disease. In my case I was very, very, shy. My therapist said that it would be something that I would slowly grow out of. However, if it is a more severe case it will take time, patience, and dedication...Sadly, prayer is not going to help. It is a disease, not a demon. Furthermore, autistic children can compensate in other areas. Your child might grow up to be the next Mozart or something... Most of those children are incredibly smart and well adjusted. Either way you can make the most of this situation. As Freehawt has stated you have to get away from those bible thumpers and do something productive instead of praying every night. I feel so bad for you. It is so hard breaking the ties from this religion!
Checkmate Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Damn, Mick, this sucks. I feel for you. This has to be one of the most disgusting aspects of Christianity. Deceiving people into believing that prayer can help, or that a lack of faith is why you or your children suffer. This is fucking cruelty. I don't know if you've run across this web site, but I'm going to throw it out there as it seems to be precisely on point in your dilemma. Why Won't God Heal Amputees? Ever since I found this linked in Kryten's signature I have been promoting it as the Number One site to read. It is powerful stuff. Maybe you can get your wife to read it? She seems to need special help. People need to SEE that there is NO GOD standing in the wings waiting to help them. Believing and faith are delusions that kill and destroy. I hope things get better for you, buds.
lothartx Posted March 24, 2006 Posted March 24, 2006 Damn, Mick, this sucks. I feel for you. This has to be one of the most disgusting aspects of Christianity. Deceiving people into believing that prayer can help, or that a lack of faith is why you or your children suffer. This is fucking cruelty. I don't know if you've run across this web site, but I'm going to throw it out there as it seems to be precisely on point in your dilemma. Why Won't God Heal Amputees? Ever since I found this linked in Kryten's signature I have been promoting it as the Number One site to read. It is powerful stuff. Maybe you can get your wife to read it? She seems to need special help. People need to SEE that there is NO GOD standing in the wings waiting to help them. Believing and faith are delusions that kill and destroy. I hope things get better for you, buds. Bummer mick, I feel for ya' I have sent this link to my wife, who is not quite as fragile as your situation. She has agreed to read through the site and discuss it. Howerver, if your wife is worrying about retrobution if you are not "good", I would not bring this up at this time. I might do more harm than good. However, definetely learn as much as possible about autism and make sure your wife also understands at a base level what medical world knows about autism, it's treatments etc. My youngest child was born with a heart condition that required surgery at 11 weeks. While everyone in the church was praying for a "mircacle" before the surgery, I prayed fora good surgeon and steady hands. I was already pretty skepitcal.
nirrti Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 What is it with Christians that everyone has to be perfect or else? I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild form of autism that impedes on social skills and sensory input. Along with it comes depression and social anxiety since my brain is wired in a matter that makes it more suceptable to other disorders. Christians were always telling me god was going to heal me and if I was a good enough Christian, yada yada yada..... You can imagine how lonely that felt since what people really meant was god was punishing me for something I couldn't find the strength to control myself. I'm on meds which help me cope much better and can you believe some of these idiots think I should throw away my pills and "let god heal" me? Please don't let your wife make your child think something's "wrong" with him. He needs to know you both love him no matter what. If you listen, I can guarantee you'll learn a lot from him. Yes, it's hard to find out your child can't do some things that others can but believe me, he has his own unique gifts and they need to be nurtured right now. If he grows up thinking you only value him according to how "normal" he acts, he'll hate himself and worse think god is punishing him for something he or his mother did.
All Gods Fail Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 Yes, it's hard to find out your child can't do some things that others can but believe me, he has his own unique gifts and they need to be nurtured right now. If he grows up thinking you only value him according to how "normal" he acts, he'll hate himself and worse think god is punishing him for something he or his mother did. That's right on, nirrti! 'Normal' is a straightjacket the insecure try to force everyone to wear. Thank god we all don't think and do the same thing.
garrisonjj Posted March 25, 2006 Posted March 25, 2006 I am going to love my family, wife and 3 kids hard in the mean time. Be ready to describe that mercy will be show to all when they ask (even if mercy is nothing more than the non existense of Hell!) and to be welcoming to them like the Father and the prodigal Son when they tell me they can't follow the faith some day in the future! I do feel for my wife though. She prays soooooooooooooo hard for my youngest child who has autism every day for hours. She cries all the time about, wondering why God won't answer. I love her so much. It hurts me to think that she would see me as having so much less value if I were to tell her I no longer believed. She would actually potentially think it may be why my son doesn't get healed. She actually tells me to be as good as possible or else he might not get healed. It breaks my heart, prevents acceptance, and causes true emotional healing to never come. First,,,,,I am sorry. Next,,,as a public school teacher for 26 years I have seen many autistic children do quite well and improve! Just keep at it! Pray with your wife. It wont hurt and it will make her feel better.You can have your own beliefs in your heart.If god is vengeful,,,,,,,,who wants or needs him. Take care, gary
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