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Even speaking as someone of pagan tendency, I wish that religion was removed from funerals altogether.

 

I went to the dispatch of an elderly Christian fundie last Friday morning,  It seems the deceased had stipulated that his funeral should be used for preaching rather than for saying anything about himself.  There were none of the usual trappings - no flowers etc, though, of itself, that is an irrelevance.  The hall was set up as if for a Sunday evening preaching session, and we were harangued for 40 minutes or so as to the need be converted to Christianity, the only thing identifying it as a funeral being the presence of the coffin and the occasional reference to the faith of the deceased.  What was most telling was that, of two children, only the one who follows the deceased's religious viewpoint was present.  His beliefs, historically, lead to the estrangement of his oldest child, who did not even feel able, or possibly even inclined, to attend her father's funeral.  Nor had she been to her mother's some years ago, though I understand her issues are more with her father.

 

That says a lot about the poison that religion can become when humans start to become convinced exclusively of their own version of the "truth", whatever that might be.  Ironically, I'm convinced a number of those present actually attended only because they knew there would be free food - but perish the thought that anything so carnal would enter what passes for their minds...!

 

Personally, stick me in sack, say sod all about any beliefs, put me in an oven (which itself will upset my Christian acquaintances, as they believe that only burial is acceptable) and scatter the remnants to the wind.  I hope to be sitting, invisible, on my coffin, blowing inaudible raspberries at any arsehole who is only there in the hope that death will cause someone to become a Christian.

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Sounds like my wife's uncle's funeral. The preacher preached on and on and little was said about the man. (Although there was little to say....) Most of the family, even being fundies, were not impressed.

 

Augustus, the first Roman emperor, said, "Have I played the part well? Then applaud as I exit."

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At my grandfather's funeral the minister reminded us repeatedly that anyone who was not "saved" would go to hell. My grandfather was Christian, but it made me so angry that anyone would think it's appropriate to guilt people into joining a religion, especially at a time like that, and cause further pain to those attending who were Christians.

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33 minutes ago, Lilith666 said:

At my grandfather's funeral the minister reminded us repeatedly that anyone who was not "saved" would go to hell. My grandfather was Christian, but it made me so angry that anyone would think it's appropriate to guilt people into joining a religion, especially at a time like that, and cause further pain to those attending who were Christians.

At my father's funeral the preacher actually pointed at me and my brother and sister, saying that dad's greatest wish was that his children be saved. After the show his widow told me that it was customary for the family to give the preacher some sort of cash "love offering" for his service. I just glared at her and said, "Are you shitting me? After that bullshit?"

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46 minutes ago, florduh said:

At my father's funeral the preacher actually pointed at me and my brother and sister, saying that dad's greatest wish was that his children be saved. After the show his widow told me that it was customary for the family to give the preacher some sort of cash "love offering" for his service. I just glared at her and said, "Are you shitting me? After that bullshit?"

You can almost actually see the predators drool over the abundance of emotional blackmail material, at a funeral.

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Anybody know what a funeral would look like without preaching?  I hate funerals but my parents are getting up in age so someday I might have to pay for one.  I've only been to Christian funerals and have no idea how to make a different kind of memorial service.  Any ideas?

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8 hours ago, mymistake said:

Anybody know what a funeral would look like without preaching?  I hate funerals but my parents are getting up in age so someday I might have to pay for one.  I've only been to Christian funerals and have no idea how to make a different kind of memorial service.  Any ideas?

 

I've always felt that funerals or such are for those who survive, so do what you want. I don't see anything wrong with throwing a party.

 

For my dad, his ashes were spread in the ocean by the Neptune Society. Then we had a party at the house. For my mom, we had a couple of her best friends over for an evening of remembrance. We just sat around and shared some stories. Then my sister, my wife and I took her ashes up to the Black Hills in South Dakota, to a place where she had fond memories of her youth and had told us many stories about it. I tossed them to the wind.

 

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I'd like above all else, to get a drink at my funeral, but I suppose there's a difference between being a spirit and drinking spirits. Too much drinking of the latter has been known to make some people think they have seen the other sort.

Casey

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17 minutes ago, Casey said:

I'd like above all else, to get a drink at my funeral, but I suppose there's a difference between being a spirit and drinking spirits. Too much drinking of the latter has been known to make some people think they have seen the other sort.

Casey

 

I've been told that the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake is that at the wake there is one less drunk.

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     Ah, funerals.  The high-pressure sales office of religions.  Where else can they actually put people face-to-face with their fear of death and then try to sell them the magical cure?  This has got to be the next best thing to death beds for some of these guys (because they sure love that death bed conversion...real or, more than likely, imagined).

 

          mwc

 

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7 hours ago, older said:

 

I've been told that the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake is that at the wake there is one less drunk.

 

As an Irishman, I can confirm this.  Fact Check: True.

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11 hours ago, older said:

 

I've always felt that funerals or such are for those who survive, so do what you want. I don't see anything wrong with throwing a party.

 

For my dad, his ashes were spread in the ocean by the Neptune Society. Then we had a party at the house. For my mom, we had a couple of her best friends over for an evening of remembrance. We just sat around and shared some stories. Then my sister, my wife and I took her ashes up to the Black Hills in South Dakota, to a place where she had fond memories of her youth and had told us many stories about it. I tossed them to the wind.

 

 

Nice!

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12 hours ago, Casey said:

I'd like above all else, to get a drink at my funeral, but I suppose there's a difference between being a spirit and drinking spirits. Too much drinking of the latter has been known to make some people think they have seen the other sort.

Casey

 

 

Here is my idea of a good funderal:

 

 

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Here's a song I want blasted at my funeral.

 

 

 

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My sister died last week. The funeral service amounted to a church service. There were two preachers, one to do the obituary and the other to ostensibly talk about my sister. The only thing about her they said was that she had a lot of courage (stubbornly fighting MS for many years, doing things people told her she didn't need to try to do because she figured every step she didn't take, or stair she didn't climb, would hasten the day when she couldn't). They talked about how she went to church even when she didn't feel like it and how that was an "encouragement" to other people. They mostly talked about what you had to do to get to heaven.

 

What they didn't do was go to the family and ask for our memories! They didn't tell what she was like as a child, as a teen, as a mother. They didn't say what she liked and didn't like, what she laughed at, what her endearing peculiarities were.

 

It doesn't have to be that way. My father-in-law was a Christian minister and he always asked the family for personal stories. At my in-laws' funerals one of the grandkids got up and spoke on behalf of the grandchildren, relating their memories about what made their grandparents so special. These were "Church of Christ" funerals, too.

 

Christians are tired of the sermons at funerals, too, so I think that's changing.

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Sorry to hear of your loss, Lerk.

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On 2/19/2018 at 6:26 PM, mymistake said:

Sorry to hear of your loss, Lerk.

 

 

Thank you. Still in shock, even though it wasn't unexpected. (She had MS plus heart disease, and had been in and out of the hospital the last two years treating infections.) She was only 18 months older than I am.

 

I can see why ancient people believed in an afterlife. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact that someone -- a mind -- you were so close to for your entire life has simply ceased to exist. But an emergent property of a biological process does not an immortal soul make.

 

We have memories.

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The last couple of funerals we attended were "celebration of life ceremonies". They were Christian funerals but there wasn't any preaching. It was family & friends talking about the deceased. Some of the music was religious & some wasn't.

 

One of the funerals was for a lady in her 70's that passed away from lung cancer. She passed away a few months after the cancer was found. The lady was a big University of Memphis sports fan. At the end of her service the family came up on stage wearing their U of M football jersey's & the U of M Tiger fight song was played to end the service.

 

That was the coolest funeral I ever attended. 

 

When a former co-worker passed away the family had a full military funeral for him. He was in his late 80's when he passed away. He was a former Marine and a full Marine color guard was provided with a 21 gun salute. His widow was presented with a flag. His grandson, a Navy Lt Commander & F-18 fighter pilot,  spoke in full dress uniform. He graduated  from the Naval Academy. His grandfather, rightly so, was very proud of his grandson.

 

A full military service is very impressive. 

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On 14/01/2018 at 8:26 AM, Ellinas said:

Even speaking as someone of pagan tendency, I wish that religion was removed from funerals altogether.

 

I went to the dispatch of an elderly Christian fundie last Friday morning,  It seems the deceased had stipulated that his funeral should be used for preaching rather than for saying anything about himself.  There were none of the usual trappings - no flowers etc, though, of itself, that is an irrelevance.  The hall was set up as if for a Sunday evening preaching session, and we were harangued for 40 minutes or so as to the need be converted to Christianity, the only thing identifying it as a funeral being the presence of the coffin and the occasional reference to the faith of the deceased.  What was most telling was that, of two children, only the one who follows the deceased's religious viewpoint was present.  His beliefs, historically, lead to the estrangement of his oldest child, who did not even feel able, or possibly even inclined, to attend her father's funeral.  Nor had she been to her mother's some years ago, though I understand her issues are more with her father.

 

That says a lot about the poison that religion can become when humans start to become convinced exclusively of their own version of the "truth", whatever that might be.  Ironically, I'm convinced a number of those present actually attended only because they knew there would be free food - but perish the thought that anything so carnal would enter what passes for their minds...!

 

Personally, stick me in sack, say sod all about any beliefs, put me in an oven (which itself will upset my Christian acquaintances, as they believe that only burial is acceptable) and scatter the remnants to the wind.  I hope to be sitting, invisible, on my coffin, blowing inaudible raspberries at any arsehole who is only there in the hope that death will cause someone to become a Christian.

If they would only give up their religious chains, they just might face death with dignity.

 

 

 

 

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