labratsolo Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Today I am meeting with a longtime friend, who is a Christian... I plan to explain to her my deconversion, as well as many of the serious lifestyle changes I have undergone as a result, in full detail. I am sure this will shock her, but I do trust that she won't disavow me or anything. More than anything else, I have had a strong desire to finally come forward to my Christian friends and explain to them how I feel and how I have been living, partially to finally get it off of my chest and not feel as though I am living a secret life, and partially to shock them into evaluating their own lifestyle and choices. I'm not trying to actively deconvert anyone, but I see so many of my friends living comfortably unhappy in their mindset, and I think a little shock to the system would be good for them (it certainly was for me!). Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it, I just feel like overcoming this hurdle will make me feel even more liberated, and that's pretty cool to me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 If I were you I would begin with the statement that you are not here to change anyone's mind but just making a statement of belief. Unless you are just looking for debate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
labratsolo Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 If I were you I would begin with the statement that you are not here to change anyone's mind but just making a statement of belief. Unless you are just looking for debate. I don't know if it's really any of that... It's certainly not debate, more than anything else it's a declaration of my new self. This particular friend (and a few others) are aware of my leanings away from Christianity, but are less aware of my newfound state of happiness away from it. I think that, more than anything else, I want my friends to get to know me in my new capacity, and while that may be shocking or provoking, to also know how much I care about them and perhaps that I'm not a "bad" person, which some may be inclined to believe. That's mainly why I'm starting with this friend, because I know that the shock won't ultimately change how she views me. If I were to begin with more judgmental friends, this process could become very discouraging... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
labratsolo Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 ...so I met with her last night, it was an incredibly positive experience, and it will probably go a long way toward continuing my liberation from my former Christian life! She was less shocked by the things about my lifestyle than I expected, and told me she was leaning away from Christianity herself, although not nearly to the extent to which I have (at least not yet). That really surprised me, I have to say. She also told me her roommate recently left the church, and had no one to talk to about it, so she will put the two of us in touch. It feels really good to have gotten that conversation out of the way, I feel more encouraged about having it with more of my Christian friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 That's great when it all works out like that. When I told people a few years back, who I thought, were Christians I discovered they were really leaning away from it also. Even people I didn't know well who went to Church every Sunday that I told said they too were leaning away. Of course, I have run into a few that get completely defensive and start throwing cliche after cliche at me, but I would have to say that it is much more rare than those who accept. I'm getting to a point where religious debate just isn't worth the time and effort. Bible thumpers won't change their minds even when you throw out all the classical reasons behind dumping Christianity and really no matter what you say. The same is for me, I can't be persuaded with cliches of god loves me, and he died for me, blah blah blah. And especially when they try to use the Bible as some kind of authority on an afterlife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 ...so I met with her last night, it was an incredibly positive experience, and it will probably go a long way toward continuing my liberation from my former Christian life! She was less shocked by the things about my lifestyle than I expected, and told me she was leaning away from Christianity herself, although not nearly to the extent to which I have (at least not yet). That really surprised me, I have to say. She also told me her roommate recently left the church, and had no one to talk to about it, so she will put the two of us in touch. That's terrific! That's great when it all works out like that. When I told people a few years back, who I thought, were Christians I discovered they were really leaning away from it also. Even people I didn't know well who went to Church every Sunday that I told said they too were leaning away. Of course, I have run into a few that get completely defensive and start throwing cliche after cliche at me, but I would have to say that it is much more rare than those who accept. Maybe this is one more reason for all of us to be honest about our deconversion experiences. There might be a lot more people than we think that are ready to bail out of Christianity. Sharing our stories may help them to take that final step, and also can be the beginnings of a support system for everyone involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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