The danger of Christianity

[Survivor]

Hi.

 

I firstly want to say that I'm very glad that I found this site. I don't have anywhere else to turn or anyone else to speak to. If I had not found this site, then I don't know if I would be okay. I've realized that truly there are not many forums that exist any longer for someone to speak out and to be heard. I would hope that this site stays around for a long time. People need it and I really needed it. Words cannot really express how I feel. When you are a silenced victim looking for somewhere to speak and finally find what you are looking for, words cannot explain the feeling. I've finally breathed a sigh of relief, even without telling my story or saying much at all.

 

Today, I won't be telling much of my story. I've spent years attempting to speak to no avail. That is because what I've gone through and the ways that I've gone through combined with my not having anyone or the right people in my life has made speaking a difficult thing.  I've grown exhausted. Although I don't have anyone in my life with no one to truly see or understand what I've gone through, I did not want to die with my story being untold; but my story has encompassed so much and I've gone through so much. Being isolated from others has made trying to speak a complicated matter; but I desire for things at this point to be very simple. While later when I am ready and more prepared, I may come back and share a little more of story, today, I will only say a few words.

 

I am a victim of Satanic witchcraft that is very heavy, racist in nature (I am a young, African-American woman) and very serious, dangerous and many other things. In different ways and by different means, I have been silenced after having tried to speak out in ways that would not work. My circumstances such as having grown up in a small family, a predominantly white area and schools, going to a commuter college and living at home and also never having made really any friends were all things that would be used by those doing this to me. What I'm going through has stolen everything from me and has left me with regrets and also has left me in much poorer health. I fight for my life everyday. I have been targeted for this seemingly due to looks, as though others at my schools or perhaps some in my family did not think I was pretty, and what I'm going through is supposed to also be demeaning in a way related to my facial appearance while also literally stealing physical attractiveness. Those doing this to me have very high power and are using these things as rituals. There are people working under more powerful people who can track me and drive by my home every day to perform witchcraft. Where I live makes access to me easy. I've gone through this situation for years but circumstances have led to me staying at home where I may not be able to leave until a few more years. I never thought that life would hand this to me and I had always believed that life could have been so good for me. I'm crying. Those from former schools may think what I'm going through is strange if I try to address it. People also don't seem to understand simple things as though the understanding of all that I've come across can be tampered with. Lack of understanding along with enduring witchcraft attacks of various sorts that are supposed to affect people's opinions of me in obvious ways has influenced a total isolation lest. The worry could lead to an anxiety or heart attack.

 

During the many years that I've gone through this, I used to expect God's deliverance. I had been a Christian until late last year. I truly believed in God and the Bible and a part of why I did not flee is because I expected God to eventually help me, use something in some way for the good of someone else and overall eventually have a plan and purpose for what was happening. Also, in my mind, Christians didn't flee until led to do so. Otherwise, it was important to have faith and to serve God. I prayed and prayed for direction, but it never felt as though God was leading me to leave. Instead, what I was going through just needed to stop, and I relied on Him to make it stop. So, for academic reasons, I had chosen to stay. It would be a mistake and I'd be left with so many regrets.

 

All in all, ultimately, I would go through very much and in the end also realize very much. One of the things that I'd realize is that Christianity is false. My realizing this was gradual because I didn't want to believe it. When I struggled with faith, I read apologetics books and tried to make faith stronger. I didn't want to believe that Christianity was false but also truly and wholeheartedly believed that it was true. The more that things became worse and worse in ways that I knew a good God would not allow, the more I'd realize that something was very wrong with God. In the end, I would end up doing more research regarding Christianity and would be surprised at how easily is can be shown as false or faulty. I'd want to kick myself for having believed when I didn't need to. Lack of faith would have protected me and prevented much in my life. That is the danger of Christianity. It is a very bad thing. It is used in different ways in different people's lives that show its various negative purposes. Some will never know of such purposes while others' lives reflect them. It is something that is meant to seem better than it is to the majority of people while showing its truly negative results and purposes in the lives of some others. With this being said, I also now contemplate the true purpose of this world more than ever. The world must be a very bad place to be. I question how bad the creator of it all is. He cannot be benevolent.

 

For now, that is all that I desire to say and I consider this a very brief synopsis of my story. I no longer feel the need to go into much detail as I otherwise would have felt the need to do a while ago. I am simply glad that I have found somewhere to speak, if only to a small extent right now. I don't believe that I will be in need of saying anything else. 

[Geezer]

Welcome & I'm so very sorry to learn how difficult your life has been. I hope this site is helpful in some way for you.

[shelleymak6376]

 

@Survivor  So sorry you have had such a difficult life... and continue to have struggles.  I found this site recently too & it has been very helpful for me.  I see it as a refuge as I don't really have any one to talk to either.  All of my family is Christian & most of my friends.  So far, I have found that everyone on here is so nice & welcoming & non-judgmental.  Everyone has been very supportive & has lots of great advice to share.  I hope you continue to share & see what a great forum this is!!  

 

[MOHO]

Welcome @Survivor

Glad you found us.

 

This site can be, and has been for me, I kind of daily dose of sanity when surrounded by fundy fams. I see it as a sort antidote to counter the almost non-stop attempts at indoctrination and absurd superstitious rants some of us encounter.

 

If, however, your are in a truly unbearable situation my I suggest you seek the services of a professional counselor.

 

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

Welcome! I hope the support and resources in this site helps. Your testimony reminded me about how hard I wanted Christianity to be true in the beginning days of my deconversion... that's something a lot of Christians don't acknowledge since they tend to assume that everyone who leaves leaves for evil reasons.

[SerenelyBlue]

Welcome, I hope you find peace here.  What do you mean by witchcraft?  Can you explain?

[Guest]

Welcome! I hope this community can help in some way.

[Survivor]

Thanks to those who have given encouragement and a warm welcome. I've decided that eventually at some point between August and December of this year, I may post a bit more on a blog that I'll put in my website url on my profile page if others would like to know more. I anticipate feeling the need to say more, but in having been so silenced, it's become easier to speak only in portions and fragments. Just speaking a little has helped so far, but I've gone through so much. I won't be able to mention quite a bit to others unless I am very close to them (and I currently have no one in my life), and so much that I've gone through will go unknown about as though it hasn't occurred; but to some extent, I'm realizing that sometimes that has to be okay in this very unfair world. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

It is great that you have found this site.  As an old saying goes,  HANG IN THERE!  You have found support here.

 

I would also highly recommend you see a counselor at your college, a trusted Doctor, or someone at a Mental Health center to help you through your immediate situation, and help you make sure you are safe.  Also, I hope you come to realize the witchcraft is in a way like Christianity.  It only has as much power over you as you let it have.  I know you need to move at your own pace, but don't give up!

[Orbit]

On 3/13/2018 at 11:46 PM, Survivor said:

Hi.

 

I firstly want to say that I'm very glad that I found this site. I don't have anywhere else to turn or anyone else to speak to. If I had not found this site, then I don't know if I would be okay. I've realized that truly there are not many forums that exist any longer for someone to speak out and to be heard. I would hope that this site stays around for a long time. People need it and I really needed it. Words cannot really express how I feel. When you are a silenced victim looking for somewhere to speak and finally find what you are looking for, words cannot explain the feeling. I've finally breathed a sigh of relief, even without telling my story or saying much at all.

 

Today, I won't be telling much of my story. I've spent years attempting to speak to no avail. That is because what I've gone through and the ways that I've gone through combined with my not having anyone or the right people in my life has made speaking a difficult thing.  I've grown exhausted. Although I don't have anyone in my life with no one to truly see or understand what I've gone through, I did not want to die with my story being untold; but my story has encompassed so much and I've gone through so much. Being isolated from others has made trying to speak a complicated matter; but I desire for things at this point to be very simple. While later when I am ready and more prepared, I may come back and share a little more of story, today, I will only say a few words.

 

I am a victim of Satanic witchcraft that is very heavy, racist in nature (I am a young, African-American woman) and very serious, dangerous and many other things. In different ways and by different means, I have been silenced after having tried to speak out in ways that would not work. My circumstances such as having grown up in a small family, a predominantly white area and schools, going to a commuter college and living at home and also never having made really any friends were all things that would be used by those doing this to me. What I'm going through has stolen everything from me and has left me with regrets and also has left me in much poorer health. I fight for my life everyday. I have been targeted for this seemingly due to looks, as though others at my schools or perhaps some in my family did not think I was pretty, and what I'm going through is supposed to also be demeaning in a way related to my facial appearance while also literally stealing physical attractiveness. Those doing this to me have very high power and are using these things as rituals. There are people working under more powerful people who can track me and drive by my home every day to perform witchcraft. Where I live makes access to me easy. I've gone through this situation for years but circumstances have led to me staying at home where I may not be able to leave until a few more years. I never thought that life would hand this to me and I had always believed that life could have been so good for me. I'm crying. Those from former schools may think what I'm going through is strange if I try to address it. People also don't seem to understand simple things as though the understanding of all that I've come across can be tampered with. Lack of understanding along with enduring witchcraft attacks of various sorts that are supposed to affect people's opinions of me in obvious ways has influenced a total isolation lest. The worry could lead to an anxiety or heart attack.

 

During the many years that I've gone through this, I used to expect God's deliverance. I had been a Christian until late last year. I truly believed in God and the Bible and a part of why I did not flee is because I expected God to eventually help me, use something in some way for the good of someone else and overall eventually have a plan and purpose for what was happening. Also, in my mind, Christians didn't flee until led to do so. Otherwise, it was important to have faith and to serve God. I prayed and prayed for direction, but it never felt as though God was leading me to leave. Instead, what I was going through just needed to stop, and I relied on Him to make it stop. So, for academic reasons, I had chosen to stay. It would be a mistake and I'd be left with so many regrets.

 

All in all, ultimately, I would go through very much and in the end also realize very much. One of the things that I'd realize is that Christianity is false. My realizing this was gradual because I didn't want to believe it. When I struggled with faith, I read apologetics books and tried to make faith stronger. I didn't want to believe that Christianity was false but also truly and wholeheartedly believed that it was true. The more that things became worse and worse in ways that I knew a good God would not allow, the more I'd realize that something was very wrong with God. In the end, I would end up doing more research regarding Christianity and would be surprised at how easily is can be shown as false or faulty. I'd want to kick myself for having believed when I didn't need to. Lack of faith would have protected me and prevented much in my life. That is the danger of Christianity. It is a very bad thing. It is used in different ways in different people's lives that show its various negative purposes. Some will never know of such purposes while others' lives reflect them. It is something that is meant to seem better than it is to the majority of people while showing its truly negative results and purposes in the lives of some others. With this being said, I also now contemplate the true purpose of this world more than ever. The world must be a very bad place to be. I question how bad the creator of it all is. He cannot be benevolent.

 

For now, that is all that I desire to say and I consider this a very brief synopsis of my story. I no longer feel the need to go into much detail as I otherwise would have felt the need to do a while ago. I am simply glad that I have found somewhere to speak, if only to a small extent right now. I don't believe that I will be in need of saying anything else. 

 

Remember, witchcraft is just other people playing mind games. It's not real. Welcome to the forums!

[Mothernature]

Welcome. I'm sorry you've been through such a tough time and glad you found this site. Hopefully things will turn around for you and some positivity will come your way. I find this site very helpful and you will find people that will listen openly.

[superbrady]

Welcome! I am new to the site too and I will say that it has already helped me immensely in finding many like-minded people who are incredibly open and accepting. Just reading through some of the testimonies and discussions here have brought me a lot of comfort and closure. And I think it’s safe to say that we’re all here to help as much as we can! 

 

I hate to hear about how difficult your life has been so far. Echoing what others have said, it might be worth talking to a professional if you can, given that this is such a distressing time for you. In the past when I had questions about my faith, I went through a time of emotional turmoil, fear, and anxiety, and would have benefited immensely from taking to someone who is an expert on this kind of thing in a confidential, safe environment. In fact, think everyone can benefit from talking to a counselor or mental health professional when having faith crises, when feeling like you’re under attack by something, or when you are going through deconversion. What you are going through is difficult to do alone and they are here to help you think through and cope with this issue.

 

That said, I congratulate and thank you for being bold and sharing your story with us. In addition to helping you get some relief by posting this on this forum, it may help others in the future as well who are going through similar trials. I also look forward to hearing the rest of your story whenever you are comfortable. 

 

Have a nice day and stay strong.