Easter with parents

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Hello Everyone,

     So I usually surprise my mom from time to time and go to church with her. I've come to a point in my deconversion where attending a church has no effect on me. I've even attended some with my wife the past couple of months. But anyway, when I do go to church with my mom I usually plan it on a day when they are having church dinner afterward. I think that is what I miss most about church. I love food and those church ladies make some REALLY good food. LOL. 

      But this post isn't about the church food. It's about the sermon. After it was over the first thing I said to my son (who is atheist) was," That sermon was laughable". My wife who still believes even said it was an april fools sermon LOL. But thankfully she is slowly becoming more liberal in her beliefs. My parents church has always been a little messed up in there beliefs. The women all wear a head covering. looks like a doily. They believe they are the "true church" and that only there church will be in the heavenly city. Other churches will still go to heaven but they will be like a lower class citizen outside the city.

      This is easter sunday so I kinda expected a sermon on the death and resurrection. You know classic easter sermon shit. Nah, this guy starts preaching about the chastisement/punishment of the Lord for not doing his will. Even incorporated a bit of not paying tythes in with it too. He said at one point that if a person is living in sin and NOT being chastised by the Lord that they probably weren't "saved" in the first place. But the absolutely hilarious part of the sermon that almost made me laugh out loud was when he talked about driving home from his brothers house in Tennessee. He said he drove through a storm and it Hailed on him. There was no where for him to go. That it hailed upon the righteous and the wicked that day, for him it is a trial of his faith. So I guess for the wicked it was punishment, and for the back sliden believer it was God's chastisement. LMAO!!! I really did almost laugh at him. If I hadn't been at my mothers church I would have called him out on that pile of horse shit. 

     I know the storm he was talking about and my thoughts were this. This was a highly televised storm warning, probably on the radio too. It was a severe storm that had done extensive damage in other states. We had HOURS of warnings. Schools were even shutdown that were in it's path. But he decides to drive from Tennessee to Georgia through the storm. And then wants to claim that it is a trial of his faith? WTF? LOL!!!! that is so hilarious. The whole sermon was a bunch of superstitious mumbo jumbo, but that was the icing on the cake. Even if I still believed I would have called him out. I would have considered that not heeding a warning and tempting God. Now I just consider it an example of his own stupidity. 

      I dont think i was the only one tho. I didn't hear anyone talking about how good the sermon was. I couldn't keep my mouth shut on the way home. I started describing my perspective of the sermon and how it all sounded to me that it was a Damned if you do and Damned if you don't scenario. Either way whether your a sinner, righteous man, or a back sliden believer your gonna be tried by God in horrible ways. That's when my wife piped up and said it was an april fools sermon. :-) 

      I figured I would share that experience with you guys. Hope you all get a smile or a good laugh from it. I know I did.

 

Dark Bishop

[MOHO]

I suppose, DB, that it would be fairly easy to label most sermons as April fools sermons. They certainly all sounded that way to me. 

 

Peeking over Mrs. MOHO's shoulder Sunday AM (she was watching her thrice weekly dose of indoctrination on the Interwebs) I saw/heard Pastor James talk about the hundreds of folks who saw Jesus after the resurrection. Funny how there are no verifiable accounts from historians from the day.  

 

Must have been the mother of all April Fool's jokes. 

 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

1 minute ago, MOHO said:

I suppose, DB, that it would be fairly easy to label most sermons as April fools sermons. They certainly all sounded that way to me. 

 

Peeking over Mrs. MOHO's shoulder Sunday AM (she was watching her thrice weekly dose of indoctrination on the Interwebs) I saw/heard Pastor James talk about the hundreds of folks who saw Jesus after the resurrection. Funny how there are no verifiable accounts from historians from the day.  

 

Must have been the mother of all April Fool's jokes. 

 

I wonder if that first easter sunday landed on april 1st? It has made fools out of people for couple thousand years. Your right the ultimate april fools joke.