Nani Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 I’m not exactly an atheist but I am for sure no longer a Christian. I want to find a way to explain this to my parents but I don’t know how. I don’t want to continue on anymore pretending I’m this good Christian girl when I despise the Bible. Any suggestions? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 Take your time. Whatever you do, do not have a conversation that you are not ready to have. These are words that can't be unsaid, and have the potential to fundamentally and forever alter your relationship with your parents. I'm not saying don't tell them, but make sure you are ready first. If I may ask, what is the nature of your relationship with your parents? Are you close? Are you dependent on them in any way? If so, be extra careful. Best of luck! 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 Nani, If you are dependent on your folks for your well-being (nice way of saying they are supporting you) then you might want to reconsider telling them anything. Especially if you are past the age that your country, state, local municipality etc requires them to support you. If they are contributing to your schooling wait until you graduate. Then drop the bomb and run like the wind! If none of these things apply then sit them down and start by discussing the questions you have had, where you looked for answers, and how you did not find any. Move on to how not finding answers made you doubt the entire doctrine and explain how cults of all sorts (Scientology yada yada) use fear and coercion to keep their followers baffled and point out how Christianity does this too. Conclude with how you need time to sort it all out... and... just kinda never return. Of course, if your folks are unreasonable, then move to the States and send them a cable. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nani Posted April 3, 2018 Author Share Posted April 3, 2018 20 minutes ago, disillusioned said: Take your time. Whatever you do, do not have a conversation that you are not ready to have. These are words that can't be unsaid, and have the potential to fundamentally and forever alter your relationship with your parents. I'm not saying don't tell them, but make sure you are ready first. If I may ask, what is the nature of your relationship with your parents? Are you close? Are you dependent on them in any way? If so, be extra careful. Best of luck! I am very close with my parents and I am still living with them although I’m 19. I do plan on moving out soon though. No matter what I tell them, I do not think they would kick me out. They love me very much. I just know how upsetting it will be to them especially since they’re talking about starting our own family bible studies. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted April 3, 2018 Super Moderator Share Posted April 3, 2018 Nani, only you know how honest you can be at this time. Good luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disillusioned Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 35 minutes ago, Nani said: I am very close with my parents and I am still living with them although I’m 19. I do plan on moving out soon though. No matter what I tell them, I do not think they would kick me out. They love me very much. I just know how upsetting it will be to them especially since they’re talking about starting our own family bible studies. Fair enough. Do whatever you think is best. Just be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Nani said: especially since they’re talking about starting our own family bible studies. Now THAT'S motivation to come out of the fundy closet and hit the road. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted April 4, 2018 Share Posted April 4, 2018 It's hard to give advice without knowing the personalities and family dynamics involved. Generally, I would avoid the family-meeting-dramatic-announcement type of event. If possible, I'd just slowly back away by starting to miss church and not participating in the other activities, increasing this gradually until they figure it out for themselves. But that may not be an option. I'd just tough it out until you move. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted April 4, 2018 Share Posted April 4, 2018 On 4/3/2018 at 2:23 PM, Nani said: I’m not exactly an atheist but I am for sure no longer a Christian. I want to find a way to explain this to my parents but I don’t know how. I don’t want to continue on anymore pretending I’m this good Christian girl when I despise the Bible. Any suggestions? I also urge caution but depending on your parents' personality it is possible to succeed. I have a truce with my parents where we all agree to not talk about religion very much. Sometimes the topic comes up spontaneously but when that happens we all remember that we don't really want to talk about it after all. Remember you can always say you don't want to talk about it right now. You can ask your parents to respect your beliefs the way they want you to respect their beliefs. You can remind them that your whole family can accept each other despite these differences in opinion. The one thing I recommend you avoid is debating apologetics or theology with them. If they try it tell them it won't accomplish anything because you want objective evidence and religion is about faith. Good luck! Please let us know how things go. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 On 4/3/2018 at 5:50 PM, Nani said: I am very close with my parents and I am still living with them although I’m 19. I do plan on moving out soon though. No matter what I tell them, I do not think they would kick me out. They love me very much. I just know how upsetting it will be to them especially since they’re talking about starting our own family bible studies. Have you considered using the "family Bible studies" as a time to ask genuine questions about Bible passages to get them thinking? That could be a better option than just dropping a bombshell. Of course, it could also backfire by causing them to dig up a bunch of apologetics nonsense to throw at you. You know what your parents are like, so you will need to gauge for yourself what would be the best approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted April 8, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 8, 2018 It can be really hard to gauge potential reactions given what little we know of you and your family. The advice given thus far is sound. Make sure whatever you do is on your terms and when you are ready for it. By the time I came out to my family I had listened to nearly every argument for and against God so when they tried to point out why God exists I was able to show my parents why I thought that that was not sufficient reason to believe in God. I think there are two broad coming out types - the one Citsonga mentions which uses questioning etc to make your family aware that you have doubts before telling them you don't believe. The other is the bombshell where you just come straight out and tell them you don't believe in God. What option you do depends on what you are most comfortable with. Good luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quinntar Posted April 10, 2018 Share Posted April 10, 2018 On 04/04/2018 at 7:23 AM, Nani said: I’m not exactly an atheist but I am for sure no longer a Christian. I want to find a way to explain this to my parents but I don’t know how. I don’t want to continue on anymore pretending I’m this good Christian girl when I despise the Bible. Any suggestions? Do something unchristian like, that will get the message through. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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