garrisonjj Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Is it possible to feel an overwhelming sense of calm after one gives up religion yet simultaneously feel guilt also? I feel so torn. Religion has been a ball and chain around my neck all my life. Yet that fuckin fear of hell and worthless feelings attack your being. Anyone have a similar response? How can I continue to deprogram myself from a lifetime of religious pursuits. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Is it possible to feel an overwhelming sense of calm after one gives up religion yet simultaneously feel guilt also? I feel so torn. Religion has been a ball and chain around my neck all my life. Yet that fuckin fear of hell and worthless feelings attack your being. Anyone have a similar response? How can I continue to deprogram myself from a lifetime of religious pursuits. Thanks If you feel it, then it is possible. For me, it all faded after years of no lightning strikes, no curses fell, and my life has not changed for the worse. I don't give it a second thought now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 weird. The "fear of being wrong" bit didn't last very long at all for me, it was getting past all the anger at being lied to that took all the years (and is still a work in progress). A good look at history and Occam's razor was all it took to kill the doubts. I can think of numerous sermons that my father gave that were full of things ranging from embellishments to outright lies, but they were still things he knew to be incorrect. They weren't done in the name of deception; more just because they made for good theatrics or "inspiration," but they were still lies his congregations accepted as fact. Mostly they were about other religions, but sometimes it was just little things like taking verses out of context to "prove" some point he was trying to make. My favorite thing he did was talking about things that "were traditionally known to be..." whatever; I was really freaked when I went to college and found out that the words "traditionally known as" in acadamia are virtually synonymous to "something somebody just made up!" My dad can be a pretty cool guy; he never did any of what he did out of malice, and 20+ years later I understand that. But I still get pissed thinking about it, because I know that dad is pretty liberal compared to most baptist preachers; and if he did it, then the others likely do it 20 times worse! My brother gave me a cassette tape recently that I'm about halfway through. It's of a "sermon" given by one of the ministers (I'm not sure if he is a "minister" of the church, or just a regular speaker) at one of his Unitarian churches. The guy's a former baptist minister turned agnostic, and the "sermon" is titled "What if there really is a God?" He says in no uncertain terms that he no longer believes in God, but kind of takes a backwards approach in looking at the reasons why there might actually be some sort of "god." It's good stuff, I'd like to make the trip down there just to meet the guy. His turn from fundementalism was based mostly off of heavy historical study. If you feel it, then it is possible. For me, it all faded after years of no lightning strikes, no curses fell, and my life has not changed for the worse. I don't give it a second thought now. ...this helps a lot too! If anything, my life got a hell of a lot better after my deconversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Is it possible to feel an overwhelming sense of calm after one gives up religion yet simultaneously feel guilt also? I feel so torn. Religion has been a ball and chain around my neck all my life. Yet that fuckin fear of hell and worthless feelings attack your being. Anyone have a similar response? How can I continue to deprogram myself from a lifetime of religious pursuits. Thanks Sure - the human heart can experience all sorts of emotions, and really anything's possible. There is a great sense of calm that comes from knowing there's no need to make a fuss about living up to all the religious psychobabble you were told you had to, but there is of course the concern about Hell and torment and an angry god, etc, that you also had instilled in you from an early age. I had a bunch of conflicting emotions when I left Xianity. I did so during a very ugly period in my life, and I did feel intense worthlessness. Then again, I'd have felt that anyway, as Xianity never really was the spiritual Zoloft that I was told, and no matter how many times I believed in Jesus' "love" for me did I ever feel like that was enough when things would really fall apart for me. But it's all part of a process for you, I think - the slow dismantling of your former religious mindset, which pervaded everything you are. Xianity and similar cults pervade the believer deeply. It takes a long time to really get it al out of you. For some, it happens overnight or quickly at least - for others, it takes months, even years. You are your own person, and you will have your own "timetable" to follow. Just keep to the course and you'll continue to systematically deprogram yourself from Xian mind-control. I had to do just that; even though fears of Hell or a cranky god did nag me, I never let myself go back to the addiction, never let myself fall on my knees and beg Jesus for forgiveness. I kept telling myself the reasons I left Xianity and the reasons why it cannot be true, kept going back to certain websites with pertinent information on Xianity's fallaciousness, and basically took things one day at a time. Just like overcoming any addiction, you have to live for each day, and everytime you go to bed at night just tell yourself it's one more day you lived free, one more day you didn't backslide and cower before the Boogeyman of the West. Just hang in there, stay the course, keep reminding yourself of the truths you are discovering about yourself and your former cult, and one day, you'll find your way out of the tunnel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa Mystica Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Is it possible to feel an overwhelming sense of calm after one gives up religion yet simultaneously feel guilt also? I feel so torn. Religion has been a ball and chain around my neck all my life. Yet that fuckin fear of hell and worthless feelings attack your being. Anyone have a similar response? How can I continue to deprogram myself from a lifetime of religious pursuits. Thanks It is possible. I'm feeling very similar things at the moment. Once I figure out how to overcome it, I'll let you know. Rosa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Is it possible to feel an overwhelming sense of calm after one gives up religion yet simultaneously feel guilt also? I feel so torn. Religion has been a ball and chain around my neck all my life. Yet that fuckin fear of hell and worthless feelings attack your being. Anyone have a similar response? How can I continue to deprogram myself from a lifetime of religious pursuits. Thanks Every now and then I get the "what if I am wrong" feeling....not nearly as much as I used to when I first walked away. When I get down and out with the guilt that was stomped into my mind, I come here and see that I am not alone, that many others are dealing/have dealt with the same feelings. It is because of what we were taught. When something has been pounded into your head for years, it takes a while to get over that, but it is not impossible, just takes time. Heck, my husband was having a discussion about the bible with one of his co-workers....she said that there is a reason that it can be found in the FICTION area of the library. ;-) Like someone else mentioned, as far as the anger of being lied to all this time, I STILL struggle with that. That was/is a lot worse than the guilt I was feeling. When I see the last pastor that I had before my escape, I get so upset. I am not nearly as bad as I was, but some of the people from the past really get me going as far as anger goes and I let them know about it to. But the key is time. May seem out of reach now, but it does get better as the days go by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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