Asked to pray

[Eowynesque]

Are there any situations where you would say a prayer if asked? For example, a handful of times a year I am involved in end of life care of infants. I have a prayer that I'm comfortable saying, I'm just curious what you all would do.

[RealityCheck]

Sometimes we have to put beliefs away and just embrace our humanity.  If someone's loved one is passing away, I'll say a prayer if asked.  I understand that it won't change the outcome but at least it brings comfort to that person.  If I among Christian friends and asked to say grace over a meal, I usually ask someone else to do it.  I bow my head and stay quiet, seeing it as a mere formality.  No need to ruin a hangout or create tension for no reason.  This doesn't mean I won't stand up for my lack of faith when the time comes, I just rather pick and choose my battles.

[disillusioned]

I can't think of one.

 

I don't take offence to people praying. When my family is over for dinner, I ask one of my parents to say grace, because I know that they would want to. But if someone asks me to pray, I respond by saying "I don't pray". Personally, I think it is more respectful to be honest than to pretend.

[mymistake]

That is some great advise, disillusioned.

 

My Grandmother asked me to pray over a meal about five years ago.  I just said "No thank you" and waited for them to move on.  It was a family reunion so I didn't want to start a debate.  My parents parents know I am an atheist but insist on praying at every meal anyway.  So when we are with them, during the prayer I quietly watch my kids and use signals (threatening gestures) to encourage them to remain quiet.  I don't ask my kids to close their eyes but they do need to know that they should respect others even if they don't share the beliefs.  It's a delicate balance because I would rather they be disrespectful than to be sucked into a cult.  Were my kids to ignore my warnings and talk during a prayer they would only earn a lecture.

[MOHO]

When believers are over for din-din Mrs. MOHO always insists that we pray over the munchies.

 

I defer to a guest for this.

If anyone asks why I don't say grace I simply state that I am an atheist. 

If they press the issue I state that I will respect their beliefs if they will respect mine. 

[LogicalFallacy]

I'm with Disillusioned. 

 

I don't close my eyes at my parents when they pray, but I sit quietly and wait for them to finish before grabbing the salt etc. At my place I let them say grace over the food for all the good it does. Liked Disillusioned's parents mine cannot fathom not praying for their food and it does me no harm to listen to them mumble words to Jesus that they actually think has the power to stop food poisoning. (Hint it doesn't!!)  

 

However if someone asked me to pray over anything I would just say I'm not religious so I don't pray. Depending on the occasion I might ask if they'd like me to say a few words etc.

 

Like MOHO if the issue is pressed I simply say I respect their desire to pray, and I appreciate their respect for me not to pray.

 

If they insist I tell them to pray the amputated fingers of my friend back then I'll start praying. (Never got this far.... hope I don't have to)

[Margee]

On 5/27/2018 at 9:39 AM, Eowynesque said:

 a handful of times a year I am involved in end of life care of infants. I have a prayer that I'm comfortable saying

 

Hi  Eowynesque. Yes, I would say a prayer. It may be a little different than a christian prayer, but I would comfort anyone that needed it. 

 

If you would ask me if I thought your outfit looked stupid, I would say no unless you were wearing polka dot pants and shirt. So yes, I will lie to comfort and not hurt people.

[disillusioned]

11 hours ago, Margee said:

Hi  Eowynesque. Yes, I would say a prayer. It may be a little different than a christian prayer, but I would comfort anyone that needed it. 

 

If you would ask me if I thought your outfit looked stupid, I would say no unless you were wearing polka dot pants and shirt. So yes, I will lie to comfort and not hurt people.

 

This is fair, and well said.

 

Also, I don't administer end of life care to infants, so I can't properly comment on what I would do in that situation. My wife does. She's generally less closed to prayer than I am, which probably helps.

[Eowynesque]

On 5/30/2018 at 8:13 AM, Margee said:

Hi  Eowynesque. Yes, I would say a prayer. It may be a little different than a christian prayer, but I would comfort anyone that needed it. 

 

If you would ask me if I thought your outfit looked stupid, I would say no unless you were wearing polka dot pants and shirt. So yes, I will lie to comfort and not hurt people.

 

Yes that's how I feel about. Additionally my thinking is that in times like these there doesn't need to be any attention on me or what I believe.

[midniterider]

On 5/27/2018 at 5:39 AM, Eowynesque said:

Are there any situations where you would say a prayer if asked? For example, a handful of times a year I am involved in end of life care of infants. I have a prayer that I'm comfortable saying, I'm just curious what you all would do.

 

I'm in the customer service business. I have a good time with people. So yeah, sure, I'd pray for/with someone. It's not like it's going to make me turn into a Christian again. I can also be a Republican on demand , for 5 or 10 minutes if need be.  

[midniterider]

On 5/29/2018 at 9:59 AM, MOHO said:

When believers are over for din-din Mrs. MOHO always insists that we pray over the munchies.

 

I defer to a guest for this.

If anyone asks why I don't say grace I simply state that I am an atheist. 

If they press the issue I state that I will respect their beliefs if they will respect mine. 

 

"Why don't I say grace? Cuz I pre-prayed over all my future meals 15 years ago. Boom! In yo face"

[offtheromanroad]

On 6/2/2018 at 3:32 AM, midniterider said:

 

"Why don't I say grace? Cuz I pre-prayed over all my future meals 15 years ago. Boom! In yo face"

 

Exactly THIS!!! IF there is a God, he must be so bored listening to "and the hands who prepared it" a zillion times a day. And: Why not just thank the person directly?

 

As to the original question: I don't pray in public anymore. Funny enough, I am still working on not praying in private anymore (left-over OCD... ).

 

When I am at my one friend's house where they say grace, I will let them do it. When they choose to sing a song instead, I'll sing along. Doesn't hurt me, and at the same time, I don't hurt them.

 

However, I don't pretend to be praying for people. I would never tell people I will be praying for them. If asked directly, I will also tell them I don't pray anymore. I would also never pray out loud in a group prayer setting.

 

In the unlikely event a dying person would ask me to pray for them, I would do so. Again: It doesn't hurt me, and they would feel comforted. What good would it do not to pray? I would probably try not to pray in a way that would make me feel like a liar, though.

[midniterider]

Lord Jesus, though you are imaginary, please bless this food.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I was once asked to pray over the meal at a family gathering.  I expressed gratitude to the farmers who had produced the food, the immigrants who had picked it, the truckers who had transported it, the grocers who had marketed it, the family members who had bought it, and finally, to grandma and Aunt Susie, who had prepared it all.  Never mentioned god. 

 

I haven't been asked since.