Traumatized, Emotionally, By Religion...

[LosingMyReligion]

This summer, instead of taking a summer school course, I've opted instead to see a therapist(psychiatrist).

I'm realizing that I have so many issues due to the Christian religion. Now, for the first time, I find myself having to confront them head on.

In a way it has traumatized me, emotionally, because I embraced it so completely...And now, after letting go, I realize how damaged I am.

It has been incredibly harmful due to the fact that I've internalized so many things just to not seem like a bad person...Basically, putting on a happy face while inner turmoil was eating me alive.

 

I come from such a religious family and I can't talk to them about anything. The first thing I will be told to do is pray and read the bible. I'm sick of that shit. My entire family has issues and problems...But they all deal with it by hiding behind the bible. And now I realize how harmful religion and superstition has been to us.

I still believe in a higher power(whether it be god/goddess/or energy), but I no longer want anything to do with the Christian faith. The very thing that was supposed to give me "comfort" and "salvation" did neither...And I'm now realizing that.

 

I know that I will eventually be okay. Infact, I realize that dealing with my issues will be in my best interest. But this inbetween period is so emotionally taxing.

 

Can you get your life back together after Christianity?

[jrmarlin]

LMR, I am sorry to hear you are having such turmoil in your life as a backlash from your previous involvement in Xianity. That is sad to hear to say the least.

 

While I was not that heavily into Xianity, I have seen from other people a push/pull aspect because of the brainwashing involved in the religious sects. There is a lot of guilt that is laid down on others in order to pressure them into conformity. This is sadly very much the case with most religions -- not just whatever denomination you were active in.

 

A friend once told me after she went to a therapist for many years that the best thing to do with issues stemming from the past, is to simply put them down. Just think to yourself, you are ahead of that whole business now and now it's time to move forward with a new way of thinking or behaving. She said that the constant dwelling on the past only served to make her more irritated and upset about her past misgivings and previous behaviors.

 

It made sense to me. There is a point when you just have to get over it and move on. You now have the knowledge that when you react one way towards an event, that it probably stems from the old way of being -- just release it and let it go. Put that stack of bricks down. They do nothing but bog you down!

 

I know its easier said than done, but with practice it will become second nature just like every other learned behavior - including xianity.

 

I hope that helps!

 

 

Also, I would not see it as getting your life back together. In Xianity, it never was truly together in the first place...Now you are reclaiming your power to think for yourself and act for yourself -- along with the responsibility of such actions.

 

You are beginning a whole brand new life. The old one is just better left where it belongs -- in the past.

[LosingMyReligion]

Thanks JrMarlin,

 

I believe that is what I am going to have to do. I think I am going to see a shrink, primarily, to be able to talk to someone free of judgement and ridicule.

 

I do plan to put it out of my life, permanently. Because it really has messed me up in many ways...

 

But the good thing is that I know better and I can use this for motivation.

 

Appreciate your response!

[Japedo]

 

 

Can you get your life back together after Christianity?

 

 

 

Short of it, Absolutely Yes!!

 

I was raised in a extreme Pentecostal environment. Anyways, I have issues because of that and probably always will. I think its wonderful that you are able to ask for help before the issues consume you. Perhaps if I had that strength it could have saved me a lot of turmoil? Fear is the hardest thing to unlearn, it was with me anyways. It took me to near breakdown status (Panic disorder) before I got Meds and help. Happy to say I'm no longer on the Medication, I have dealt with some but not all of emotional waste, and its a continuous process. I am so much further then I was a few years ago so I'm proud of that feat.

 

I don't think I'll ever completely get over the anger stage of this, but who knows? I have so much contempt for the bastids for scaring me and my family. I think short of them being brought up on criminal charges and publicly shown for the abusers they are, I'll never have the justice I so deeply want. Until then I most likely will never get the closure I want either. I both despise and pity the fear mongerers Tali-born-agains with such a deep passion I can't even convey it.

 

Anyways, On ward and upward I say. I can't change what happened to me, but I sure as heck can somehow use it for good? Weather it be helping someone on here, or locally. I really wish you much luck getting rid of the Xtian Toxic mindcontrol.

[fallenleaf]

A while ago, I was taking a class in college which involved group therapy. Everyone would suggest things which they thought would be interesting to talk about and we would discuss them. One week they suggested religion as the topic for the week after that.

 

I went home and thought about it and realized there were issues I just did not want to get into with a group environment. Several times during the week I decided I was going to skip the session. I would later calm down and decide to go again. And when the day came, I went.

 

Group went well. I laid out basic information about my beliefs (and lack thereof) and my history regarding religion. On more than one point, I had to take a break and walk around. It was a very rough session for me... and I drew several lines regarding issues I wasn't going to discuss. At the end one of the graduate students pulled me aside and talked to me for a bit in a more one on one setting.

 

I explained that I was planning on skipping the session and that religion was very rough for me. He asked that I go home a journal a bit about it... then email it to him (or write it and bring it to class). I did. I went home and poured out a much more detailed history of it all. I'm glad I did... it was very cathartic. Just writing about it all and sorting it out on paper helped me face things I don't like talking about.

 

I emailed it to him and went on with my life. The next week, he caught me before the session. He handed me the print out of my journal. All he could say at first was, "Wow, I'm sorry..." Given the nature of several events (one of which was recent for the time) he was shocked I had come in the end. We talked a little bit and then the subject never came up again.

 

But, that short amount of time talking about it and knowing someone else was listening... it really did help. So, if you need it... I would highly encourage it. I don't think I needed it... or thought I did... but it was good. I spent a long time "playing" at being someone I wasn't... and it did leave some psychological landmines.

 

With all that said, there is life after Christianity. You can move on... and things get better. I did get lucky in that I got to deal with all the emotional hurt of losing faith completely independant of losing all faith in my family to support me -- as I kept it secret for years. So I was able to take it one step at a time. Doing it all at once would have been even more damaging (and I wouldn't have been secure enough to deal with the family issue at all).

 

Things are getting better... getting better all the time.

[Lorena Rodriguez]

Hi Losing my religion,

 

Everybody has their own opinion and their own journey. I can only speak for myself.

 

I was raised by a crazy mother in an abusive family that used religion to justify the abuse. The 5th commandment was thrown on my face, together with the slap, every time I dared to raise my voice.

 

So I will never recover. And admitting that is so freeing. It stops me from trying aimlessly. It allows me to sit back and accept myself the way I am today.

 

I know already that my attempts to recover will take me to a better place, but not to complete recovery. Knowing that lowers my expectations and helps me appreciate the baby steps I take.

 

I have only been away from church for 11 months (I think you've been away longer). But I've done a couple of things that I found helpful:

 

I read Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell. Awesome book;

I write to my blog about my bitterness.

 

Doing that has helped me feel a little bit better everyday. But I am just at the beginning. I am married to a church goer and that doesn't make things any easier.

 

I am sure that just writing your frustation here has helped you. So I am glad you dared to do it.

 

Good luck to us.

 

Lorena

[Guest thebiblesquitesilly]

Christianity fools you into thinking that you are special and unique and there is a god that loves you, when you find out that the bible god doesn't exist it is emotionally damaging, we may be unique and special but only to ourselves, not to the christian god. Basically you need to find meaning in life without what gave your life meaning while you were a christian. Christians often call aetheists "shallow" but it is them that are shallow, they can only find meaning in existence by thinking that they are god's chosen people or whatever, if you learn to find meaning and depth in your life without a god you are not shallow as some might see, you can find meaning in your existence without falsehood, that is 100% not shallow. Religous thinking can be very dangerous. Dylan moran (a comedian in uk) probably explained why best. Christians have an imaginary friend(thier god) that isn't really there that they consult on all subjects, that normally is ok but when WORLD LEADERS are doing this, consulting thier imaginary friends on decisions that effect billions, you see what i am saying.

[All Gods Fail]

LosingMyReligion, it's tough when you first walk away from it, but yes - it will get better. So much better, in fact, you probably wouldn't believe it right now. You have a new life of freedom waiting for you - seriously!

 

I think therapy is an excellent idea, too. Just talking about all that shit helps loads.

 

And come back here if you need to blow off steam or rant.

 

Keep moving forward!

[Manta]

Although you may not be used to this idea, try to isolate your problems and then set about solving each one individually by actions and not thoughts. Start out with something small, like cleaning the house if that makes you feel better, it will make you feel better. Use that feeling as a positive incentive to tackle the next problem. Like dominoes, they'll all fall down, regardless on whether they are social, financial or any other kind of problem.

 

Remember, when it comes to moral issues now, the ONLY thing that matters is if you feel that it is right or not, not if some self-contradictary book or self-contradictary interpretation says that it is or isn't. I makes things so much easier when you spend more time solving problems and less worrying about if you should or not.

[♦ nivek ♦]

LMR...

 

As resident "not a nice guy" my advise is more akin to ripping out a hangnail than carefully cutting the cuticle out...

 

Thing you'll realize and hopefully sooner than later that as an Adult, a Human in your own right not one single asshole preacher or priest owns you, your mind, your body, or the things around you.

 

They only have you by the hooks they set into your mind and pocketbook.

 

When you can by whatever methods look that pile of steaming shit you've just walked out of and realize that indeed you are not part of the pile, you are on way to Freedom.

 

In simple words from a mean_old_ma.. "Fukk'um"

 

Walk away, toss off the bandages and crutches *they* say you are crippled with.

 

Not only are you *whole*, but you do n o t need their versions of the hollie spookies and skybots to make your life complete.

 

You'll grow a philosophy that allows you the lattitude to fuckup, fall, and collapse, but do so trying things and life your way.

 

'Tis a good thing to toss off the shackles.

 

Welcome amigo, to the first steps of Freedom.

 

k, mean_old_fucking_man, L

[All Gods Fail]

Walk away, toss off the bandages and crutches *they* say you are crippled with.

 

Not only are you *whole*, but you do n o t need their versions of the hollie spookies and skybots to make your life complete.

 

You'll grow a philosophy that allows you the lattitude to fuckup, fall, and collapse, but do so trying things and life your way.

 

'Tis a good thing to toss off the shackles.

 

Welcome amigo, to the first steps of Freedom.

 

k, mean_old_fucking_man, L

 

What nivek said!

[BlueGiant]

You seem well on your way to "getting your life back together" (or at least getting comfortable). Some days are harder, some are easier, it is just going to take time.

 

As for therapy, I wish you luck, and that you find a good therapist. I, for one, am also interested in seeing how it goes.

[Eponymic]

 

Can you get your life back together after Christianity?

 

The easiest way to say this is:

 

FUCK N'A BUBBA!

 

You better believe there is. My life is infinitely better since accepting truth, pure spirituality, & harmony over religious constructs.

 

I'm exceptionally positive about life & love the direction my world is heading. And I know others who are the same way. So yes, you most certainly can get there. You just need to adjust your focus & start seeing what you've gained, because it's much greater & more important than what you've given up.

[snookums]

Of course ya can Losingmyreligon!!!

 

The christian mindset or full on nagging day in and day out and what you have mostly heard all your christian life...

 

'is that you are a weak, little sheep person, a sinner'...

 

I'M HERE TO SAY...

 

ITS ALL CRAP!!

 

YOU ARE NOT SICK (ruffled maybe) ....you are a strong human being who can stand on your own feet.....

be good to yourself!

[LosingMyReligion]

Thank you all so much for your replies!

 

I can't say how much I thank you and appreciate them!

 

I wasted so much of my life being sad and afraid because I thought the God of the bible would punish me. I was weened on fear, and I never felt like I was good enough...

 

The religion put me through emotional turmoil. At first I didn't think I would ever recover, but coming here and seeing so many well adjusted individuals on the boards I realize that I can enjoy life. That is something I am just now allowing myself to do.

 

I am going to start my counseling sessions in a few weeks(after I finish spring semester), and I believe I have a quality psychologist.

 

I believe that I am going to be a better person for this. I just pity the rest of my family. They have wasted their lives on it.