SunNSand4me Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I told my kids separately this morning that I won't be going to church anymore. Son (8yrs) asked if I'd be going to a different church, and I told him no. When I told my daughter (10yrs), she started crying and asked if I still believe in god, and I said I'm not sure ... I'm searching ... to soften the blow. She also asked me if I believe in a different god, which I thought was interesting. I told them both that I need to step back and analyze for myself what *I* believe is real and true and not follow the pack, popular belief or what others tell me I should believe. I left out the part about already having done that -- been doing it for years -- and already reaching my conclusion. Current list of people I've told: husband - check kids - check sister (xtian) - check best girlfriend (xtian) - check rest of family - not yet (includes two very liberal and not-so-believing parents, one agnostic sister, one xtian sister and her ultra-fundy and highly judgmental hubby and a few other siblings somewhere in the middle) at least I'll have a lot of practice before telling the rest of the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Hi SNS, Would like to welcome you here, and to say I sympathize with what you mat be going through. I just hope this dose of reality is not to hard on the kids. Sure they will get over it. I am just one of those overly sensitive types who hate to cause any conflicts. For what it's worth, I have been dating a wonderful Christian lady for a year now, and attend church with her almost every Sunday. She has been fully aware that I gave up my faith several years ago. And she know that the absolute only reason I go to church is to be with her Sunday mornings. Sure, she would love it if I...re-converted...?, but for now, she is content to just have me come along for the ride. Keep us informed concerning your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelle Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 I have 8 year old twin boys. Last year I told them that I did'nt beleive in God. One of them disagreed with me and said "there is too a God". I've left it alone ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I admire you for your courage. I've agreed to not tell my kids. My husband still struggles with my disbelief. The only other person in my family I've told is my mom (divorced from my dad). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I told my kids separately this morning that I won't be going to church anymore. Son (8yrs) asked if I'd be going to a different church, and I told him no. When I told my daughter (10yrs), she started crying and asked if I still believe in god, and I said I'm not sure ... I'm searching ... to soften the blow. She also asked me if I believe in a different god, which I thought was interesting. I told them both that I need to step back and analyze for myself what *I* believe is real and true and not follow the pack, popular belief or what others tell me I should believe. I left out the part about already having done that -- been doing it for years -- and already reaching my conclusion. When I told my 14 year old he sighed and just said "Mum, you know you've got to find your own way in this" which was such a relief as I had no clue as to how he would react. I've just about told everyone now except the priests I know, who I've been avoiding as I don't think I could cope with the lectures or the questions... But your kids probably will settle pretty quickly when they realise life is not changing in any major way and that you are still the same mother you always have been... Best wishes with the rest of your "telling" Cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorena Rodriguez Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 I told my kids separately this morning that I won't be going to church anymore. Son (8yrs) asked if I'd be going to a different church, and I told him no. When I told my daughter (10yrs), she started crying and asked if I still believe in god, and I said I'm not sure ... I'm searching ... to soften the blow. She also asked me if I believe in a different god, which I thought was interesting. I told them both that I need to step back and analyze for myself what *I* believe is real and true and not follow the pack, popular belief or what others tell me I should believe. I left out the part about already having done that -- been doing it for years -- and already reaching my conclusion. When I told my 14 year old he sighed and just said "Mum, you know you've got to find your own way in this" which was such a relief as I had no clue as to how he would react. I've just about told everyone now except the priests I know, who I've been avoiding as I don't think I could cope with the lectures or the questions... But your kids probably will settle pretty quickly when they realise life is not changing in any major way and that you are still the same mother you always have been... Best wishes with the rest of your "telling" Cat I like this post a lot. I was going to the thread thinking... oh no what a disaster. Then I read this one and I realized that once people find out you are still the same person, they are OK (sort of). My husband is still troubled by my change of beliefs. But after about a year, he's realized that I am still exactly the same wife he had before, if a bit happier. Lorena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minus 196 Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I told my kids separately this morning that I won't be going to church anymore. Son (8yrs) asked if I'd be going to a different church, and I told him no. When I told my daughter (10yrs), she started crying Boy, what a tough one. I just stopped going to church earlier this year, but my two kids are too young to really get it yet (5 and 2), so I'm thankful for that much at least. My wife, on the other hand, who is still every inch the believing Christian woman is torn up about it because she dreads the questions my children will ask eventually and fears that my influence and example will lead them away from the church as well. The only person I've told so far who became emotional was my sister. Probably because when we were younger I was so synonymous with evangelical Christianity that she felt like she was actually losing part of her own brother. I'm not sure how much your children identified you with being a Christian, but it seems to me that they're probably at just the right ages to be upset (unlike mine, who are too young, and unlike Cat's teen, who seems to be old enough to handle such revelations). One can hope that as they get older, they'll understand your decision more . . . My best wishes are with you as you work though the family situation. Just realize that your kids will realize that you are still you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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