mandyjane Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 I have since leaving the church maintained relationships with a couple of Christains and struggled to make freinds outside of the church. I lost the social skills I need for secular freinds. It is one of the distortions church caused in me. But I realsed a coupleof weeks ago when one of these freinds let me know that they were praying for my child thatI had to say good bye to them. I found the idea of them praying for my child abhorant and distressing. They had been asked not to pray for me on numerous occasions and i suppose it was niave of me to think they would not wheedle thier way round this. I realsied that when I phone these people or invite them to visit I am inviting Jesus back into my life. I am accepting him back and maybe getting rid of these people by nolonger having contact I will be making room in my life for new people. I have stopped contacting them and hope that is enough with out me having to inform them that they have to go. Does this make sense. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 55 minutes ago, mandyjane said: Does this make sense. Absolutely. You have to do what is comfortable for you. Just let the friendships die natural deaths. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Maintaining your prior Christian friendships would be difficult for both you and your Christian friends, because the common bond has been broken. Christians tend to have a peculiar way of thinking and talking. They also have a very different world view. They would probably have more challenges being friends with you than you would with them, but neither of you would be comfortable with each other. And they would, of course, be continually pressuring you to return to the fold. If everyone involved could just put religion aside and be friends it could work, but it is highly unlikely that would be possible because everyone wants to be friends with likeminded folk. Seeking out new likeminded friends is probably best for everyone. Leaving religion isn't easy and rebuilding your life takes time, and often quite a bit of time. I wish you well on your new journey. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Your life, your boundaries. Christians operate by starting a conversation and controlling the agenda in order to create pressure. It's up to you whether to put yourself in a position where they have the opportunity so to do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConsiderTheSource Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 "Praying for my child". Now, this would get me angry very fast. I would confront them as to their "concerns" and then tell them clearly that I am doing/did a fine job raising my child, that my child is thriving, and that should take their false compassion elsewhere. Such creeps! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOHO Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 1 hour ago, ConsiderTheSource said: "Praying for my child". Now, this would get me angry very fast. I would confront them as to their "concerns" and then tell them clearly that I am doing/did a fine job raising my child, that my child is thriving, and that should take their false compassion elsewhere. Such creeps! Straight-ass freaking UP, Consider! What gall these self-righteous, hypocritical, guilt-trip spewing, fundy-ass pricks have! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 Side-view: Why would a good god have to be begged to do what is right? It makes no sense. "He knows what you need before you ask him" and yet "bang and the door at midnight until he answers". Makes no sense. Yes, draw the boundaries and keep them strong. People who think Spiderman is real and that his spidey-sense is there for you all the time are kooks and have no place in your life. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 On 9/1/2018 at 6:45 PM, mandyjane said: I have since leaving the church maintained relationships with a couple of Christains and struggled to make freinds outside of the church. I lost the social skills I need for secular freinds. It is one of the distortions church caused in me. But I realsed a coupleof weeks ago when one of these freinds let me know that they were praying for my child thatI had to say good bye to them. I found the idea of them praying for my child abhorant and distressing. They had been asked not to pray for me on numerous occasions and i suppose it was niave of me to think they would not wheedle thier way round this. I realsied that when I phone these people or invite them to visit I am inviting Jesus back into my life. I am accepting him back and maybe getting rid of these people by nolonger having contact I will be making room in my life for new people. I have stopped contacting them and hope that is enough with out me having to inform them that they have to go. Does this make sense. Perhaps you could spend additional time seeking secular acquaintances and groups of common interest. Friendships take a long time to develop. Be patient. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted September 5, 2018 Super Moderator Share Posted September 5, 2018 Are they really your friends if they have a hidden agenda or an ulterior motive? I would submit that they are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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