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Goodbye Jesus

The OT "God" is a scaredy-cat, or a wuss.


L.B.

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Ever notice the "oh, shit" moments that YHWH has in his storybook?

 

The man was threatened with death if he ate from the Tree of Knowledge... did so anyway. God's response (Gen 3:22)?

 

"And the LORD God said, "OH, SHIT!! The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."

 

Why were Yowee and his pals afraid of the mudman he/they had made? If Adam knew good and evil, and could live forever, wouldn't that mean he had achieved the same status as Yowee? The god of the OT is able to feel threatened...

 

Then there's Genesis 11...

 

6And the LORD said, “If they have begun to do this as one people speaking the same language, then nothing they devise will be beyond them. 7Come, let Us go down and confuse their language, so that they will not understand one another’s speech.”

 

Again, this god and his cohorts are afraid that men will, what? Reach the heavens, certainly only a few hundred feet over their primitive heads?

 

Why Christians are so quick to accept these stories at face value is beyond me. These are the folktales of a primitive religion peopled by men and women who had no idea the world was much bigger than the boundaries of their grazing grounds.

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Yes, he's a jerk. And the impressive things about building towers to reach the heavens is a primitive mindset about heaven being just above the clouds. This is why it was supposed to be impressive that Jesus ascended "up" into the clouds. Oooh, you mean where we fly airplanes every day? And spacecraft that show us that there is no up or down in space, just seemingly endless expanse? BZZZZT! Thanks for playing Bible!

 

Don't leave out the talking snake. Nothing in Genesis mentions Satan, just that the snake "was more clever than the other wild animals".  And where did god go on his walk away from the garden while all this was going down? Isn't he omnipresent?

 

Then there are the witchcraft genetics alterations in sheep made by having them breed in front of striped branches or not... And the Earth stopping rotation so a battle could keep going instead of god just killing the enemies (Bible says sun stopped in the sky, but it doesn't move like that. BZZZT! Thanks for playing Bible!). Then a prophet making an axhead float by tossing a branch in the water. And Jesus rubbing mud on a blind man's eyes. Lots of stupid stuff throughout the Bible meant to impress primitive minds that won't question why an almighty god can't overcome iron chariots of an enemy (Judges 1:19), or why he's threatened by buildings, cooperation, or humans having knowledge.

 

 

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     I've notice this stuff before.  I'm pretty sure god probably didn't want to do it but it was commanded of him by his god in his bible so whatcha gonna do?

 

          mwc

 

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I was actually ignorant of the stupid sheep-breeding story (I didn't remember reading it before; honestly, most of the OT put/puts me to sleep when it's not prima facie idiotic.

 

Upon Googling "striped sticks sheep breeding", I came across some website/forum where people actually defended Jacob as practicing genetic engineering and selective breeding, because progesterone in the wood, putting it in the water fed to the sheep, etc.

 

More gymnastics than a fucking Olympic telecast.

 

Some commenters there actually said that the colored sheep were bred because there were sheep with recessive genes for coloration, but Jacob used the sticks because folklore/folk-magic.

 

OK... so, the entire STORY isn't just folklore - apparently, these sheep were ready to breed according to those recessive genes that had been ineffective every other time the sheep got it on, until RIGHT then, when the story needed the "miracle" to happen at the command of Yowee,

 

Right.

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16 hours ago, L.B. said:

Then there's Genesis 11...

 

6And the LORD said, “If they have begun to do this as one people speaking the same language, then nothing they devise will be beyond them. 7Come, let Us go down and confuse their language, so that they will not understand one another’s speech.”

 

Oh, and don't preachers love to explain that one away! They'll say that the god didn't literally mean that the humans would be able to do whatever they planned, or that they could have reached Heaven! But, yes, that's exactly what it means. The author of the story clearly believed that the people could have reached the place where the god lived.

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@Lerk

 

Their god "fixed the stars in the firmament", literally, according to their writings, hanging the stars in the sky like decorations. The heavens, after all, were a solid, physical barrier between the earth and the waters that rained from the sky - if there is no water coming down right now, it must be because the god has closed the magic door that allows the waters to flow from above the heavens.

 

The materialistic and dualistic worldview of these primitive people is astounding. Flesh bad, spirit good - but the spirit world, or 'heaven', is just a perfected earth that they can comprehend, with a city and streets, etc, but away in the sky someplace. Good people go 'up' and bad people go 'down' to the bad place.

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Yes, god is quite the interesting combination of violent monster and bumbling fool!

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