A Robber Baron's Hand

[Casey]

(I had no idea where to post this one so I posted it here).

 

One night, with little else to do, I was playing Bridge against my computer. Hand after hand all the way from dogs to powerhouses, but mostly dogs. I was just about to pack it in when I was dealt this which I bid up to Six No Trumps (I was South and Declarer). My good friend North laid down his hand on the lead of a Spade from West and I was delighted to see this:

 

Spades J 9 5; Hearts Q 9; Clubs K 10 7 5; Diamonds A Q J 3

 

Very pretty against my holding of:

 

Spades A K; Hearts K J 10 8 6; Clubs A J 6 4; Diamonds K 10

 

There are thirteen tricks to a Bridge Hand y' see and I would have to take (win) twelve of these, without a Trump Suit. That's what 6 NT means. In the old days they called the first six tricks The Book. So if you contracted to make One of a Suit or One No Trump, that was 'One over The Book' and so on, but that's all ancient history now. Let's just say I had to take twelve tricks out of thirteen, OK?

 

Now how was I going to do this? Well, like any Robber Baron of old, the first step was to count my money so to speak. In every Suit headed by the Ace I had at least one certain trick; if I had the King with that I had two certain tricks and so on. Counting in this way I found I had eight certain tricks, four short of the needed twelve.

 

Obvious question was, how would I get more tricks? Where were they to come from? I had taken the first trick with the Spade King (always take at the cheapest price unless you've a good reason not to), but I still needed the extras. It would be a good start if I could find the Queen of Clubs. All I'd have to do there would be to send the Jack out looking for Her Majesty (that's called going fishing, or The Hook, or more correctly a finesse, by the way). I could even cross to the King and send out the Ten if I wanted, but ...

 

Small problem. I had no way of knowing where the Bitch of Clubs was, she might be with West or with East. If she was with West, no problem at all, but if she was with East he would take my Jack, and if he had the wits of a weevil, he would return a Heart or the Heart Ace and that would be the death of me. Same thing if I'd crossed and sent out the Ten only to find West was loaded. I could hear the Opposition saying, "Fifty fifty chance and you blew it Blue!" No good there, even if I did have eight Clubs.

 

I remembered something just in time. "Play on the Suit that will bring home the most tricks!" That would be the Hearts in this case. Once the Ace was driven out, the Heart Suit would be solid, meaning I couldn't lose any more tricks in it. Accordingly I played a small Heart to the Queen. Neither side took the trick. This is called a 'Hold up play'. They had no reason to take the trick right away, they might as well let me sweat it out. Opposition aren't nice friendly people who are there to help you make your Contract, they are there to set (defeat) it.

 

I played the Nine of Hearts. West had had enough and took his Ace, but this posed him a little question, what was he to return? Dummy held:

 

Spades J 9; Hearts none; Clubs K 10 7 5; Diamonds A Q J 3. Not that he could see my hand, Declarer's hand is always hidden, but I had:

 

Spades A; Hearts K J 10; Clubs A J 6 4; Diamonds K 10.

 

Going from his worst return to his best, if West returned a Club, East, if East knew any French that is, would be quite entitled to mutter, "Imbecile!" or even to utter the phrase, "Tete de Noeud!" This means the same as "Imbecile!" with the additional implication that anyone as stupid as that would be a product of incest. (Often accompanied by this gesture )

 

To return a Diamond would be equally stupid, it was not the Opposition's job to make my Suits solid. A Heart return would be cheeky, but the best return is a Spade, which is what I got. Oh you cow! Trying to run me short of Entries to hand eh West? Now the Dummy held:

 

Spades J; Hearts none; Clubs K 10 7 5; Diamonds A Q J 3 against my:

 

Spades none; Hearts K J 10; Clubs A J 6 4; Diamonds K 10.

 

Time to look for the Bitch of Clubs? No way! Now was the time to think like a Robber Baron! I cashed the King of Diamonds, then overtook the Diamond Ten with the Jack to end in dummy. Of course I had no Diamonds left in hand, but that didn't matter, all I had to do was get back to hand and run my Hearts.

 

They say banks (and Robber Barons) hold the secret of making money out of nothing; what I did next was similar. I played the Ace and Queen of Diamonds to remove two Clubs, and in the dummy, sitting there all new and unused like a politician's brain, was the King of Clubs, which I now played to kill the useless Jack. Leaving in dummy:

 

Spades J; Hearts none; Clubs 10 7 5; Diamonds none against a hand of:

 

Spades none; Hearts K J 10; Clubs A; Diamonds none. Once I played a Club to the now singleton Ace, she was all over bar the Ain't Bridge a simple game? Just like Robber Baron Capitalism, matter of fact.

Casey

[pitchu]

You lay it all out so beautifully, Casey... it's like following a great adventurer's story.

 

Now, if only I knew what you were talking about.

[Casey]

Pitchu, there are thirteen cards in a Bridge hand, OK? There are four positions around a table, clockwise they are North, East, South and West. North and South are a partnership, as are East and West. Thus there are fifty two cards out, no sleepers.

 

In this case I was sitting South so my partner was North. At this stage no one would see any cards besides their own thirteen; this is the Bidding phase. If I was Dealer (first to speak or 'under the guns') I would be entitled to bid what I thought my hand was worth, according to whatever bidding system my partner and I used. Partner would respond, the Opposition (the other partnership) might intervene if they thought fit.

 

If I were playing Five Card Majors in Australia I would open Two Clubs on my hand (19-21 points), partner would respond Three Clubs to show at least a four card Club Suit and points. After that I would call Three No Trumps which partner, given his strength, would raise to Little Slam (6 NT). As I was the first to call No Trumps, that would make me the Declarer (the player who plays the hand) and my partner the Dummy, which means he lays down his hand face up after the opening lead and thereafter does nothing but play whatever card I direct him to play. The opening lead always comes from the player to Declarer's left. As I was South that would put West on lead. After the Dummy goes down, every player can of course see 26 cards, his own holding and the Dummy. That's when things get interesting.

 

Note the bidding wouldn't go like that in the US, most American players use SAYC (Standard American Yellow Card) which differs from Five Card Majors, but I better not go into that I have probably got your head spinning by now, but you did ask

 

I won't go into too many details; there are too many bidding systems and discussing the pros and cons of these is like discussing christian religious sects, but suffice it to say given the strength of my hand and partners we would likely end up in 6 NT as stated. This means there is no Trump Suit. It also means it is a race between the Declarer and the Opposition to establish Suits and take the required tricks to make Contract or to set it.

 

The point of the story is that when you first learn Declarer play you are taught to count winners at No Trumps and Losers in a Suit Contract. You are also taught to play your longest Suit first at No Trumps whether you are in a Partial, a Game or a Slam, unless you have a reason not to play it. You can't just blindly follow rules; you have to think about every play you make.

 

Many an average player faced with that hand would take the dangerous Club finesse, go down at least one trick and put that down to bad luck, whereas had they planned the play properly, luck wouldn't come into it at all. Desperate times demand desperate measures. I hope this has been of some help to you Pitchu; I apologise for describing things as a player would, but that was one damn fine hand of Bridge if you only played it properly.

Casey

[HuaiDan]

Guess you gotta know how to play bridge to fuly understand this one. But still, beautifully told. No idea what you mean though.

[pitchu]

Maybe my comment wasn't adequate to conveying my reaction to reading what you wrote. I really did feel that I was reading a great adventure story -- the tale of a great conquest -- even though I didn't have a clue as to what the specifics meant.

 

This isn't a unique set of circumstances. I think most of us can become enthralled with the spirit, while not comprehending the details, of many kinds of adventures. And maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to simply appreciate the level of another person's passionate engagement with some aspect of life.

 

Or it could lead to a neophyte's desire to learn more.

 

I know that it took the major part of my lifetime to make the decision to investigate what was so wonderful about baseball. A few years ago it occured to me that many people whose judgment I admired were avid fans of the game, so I started watching.

 

Now my life only comes into full bloom with the advent of daffodils and opening day of the baseball season.

 

Keep at it, Casey... keep telling us.

[Fweethawt]

Now my life only comes into full bloom with the advent of daffodils and opening day of the baseball season.

I was never much into baseball either. That is, until I stumbled into a free set of tickets to see the Cleveland Indians one time.

 

To this day, I still won't watch a game on television, but I'll definitely jump at any chance to see a real live game. There's just nothing like actually being there.

 

 

Now my life only comes into full bloom with the advent of daffodils and opening day of the baseball season.

I was never much into baseball either. That is, until I stumbled into a free set of tickets to see the Cleveland Indians one time.

 

To this day, I still won't watch a game on television, but I'll definitely jump at any chance to see a real live game. There's just nothing like actually being there.

 

 

Btw, Casey, I enjoyed the read too.

I just didn't understand it.

[RoyBatty]

Casey: I'm a bridge player, so I understood your story. I was thinking while reading that it'd be great if you created a bridge column... so much more fun than the dry stories they tell in the paper.

 

and I use 5-card majors too... with convienent minors.. just to confused everyone else a little more.

[pitchu]

Welcome, RoyBatty.

 

Casey is going to be so very glad you're here!