SunNSand4me Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 My husband just got a call about a christian missionary couple whose newborn son died at three weeks of age. How devastating and horrible that'd be for anyone; my heart goes out to them - yes, my ungodly, satanic heart feels badly about this couple's tragedy. But, of course, my husband is told in the next breath that this couple is praising god for ... everything. They're simply so thankful for all the good things god has graced their lives with and how he continues to give compassion and stength. So typical. Bury the honest grief any parent would naturally be feeling and needs to experience so they can heal emotionally, and focus instead on (or at least pretend you're focusing on) all of god's goodness and blessings. It's utterly dumbfounding how that mindset comforts and soothes one's soul ... or comforts the people around them. Yes, god allows these horrendous things to happen so we are strengthened by growing closer to him; he is overflowing with unwaivering mercy and glory. Whatever! Excuse me while I vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aynalhub Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Yeah, like God uses a child's life just to teach me a lesson, because I'm so damn important! A**holes! Anyway, I'm sure they're saying it to help other people's faith and not because they're really A-OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Sun... There is *the* quandry for folks who have left the Xorg. Knowing "gohWde" didn't do sit, good or bad, we can look at the little one's passing as one of life's horrible happenstances, try to get going again. The religious will forever be in a closed logic loop, "knowing" that the Larde takes care of things and they "shouldn't have" doubts, worries and fears. After a few million times around the mental maypole "trusting the Larde" one gets to point where nothing hurts anymore, at least on surface. "Ah KNOWS ann Trusts Da Larde!" The Faithful will parrot this mantra, never denying the hurt, and always smiling despite being struck with the loss of someone or -thing dear to them. Best we can do is listen when they need an honest opinion... kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 That's horrible - but so typical. I doubt if anyone, even the most mindless fundie, actually takes comfort in thoughts of "trusting in the lord" but have been programmed to wear a false "praise god" persona while repressing their true feelings. This is really sad, because neither husband nor wife can reveal to the other how they actually feel and so they cannot even comfort each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Yeah, been there, seen that. It's really terrible what that kind of brainwashing does to people. They aren't even allowed to properly grieveor release emotions in a healthy way, for crying out loud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 They are obviously in denial. Too bad they can't face their feelings of grief honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Their god should be tried for crimes against humanity. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 They are obviously in denial. Too bad they can't face their feelings of grief honestly. I know what you are saying...believe me! When my father and mother died, I was a full blown christian. I believed that god took them home to give them a total healing. It took me a long time to grieve properly. All it does is mask true feelings and can make things really difficult for the one who suffered the loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Especially when there seems to be a presupposed time allowance on grieving according to the age, your gender, and biological closeness of the person (pets are excluded entirely) involved. If a young person died, you are allowed about a month of grief if you are his father, six months to a year if you are his mother. If an old person died, Its about three weeks of grieving period allowed if you are a son, three months for a daughter of this person. That's the expectation of society (then they expect you to be functionally punching your timeclock again......even when most of us KNOW this doesn't represent grief reality) And if you are a member of a fundamentalist church, ALL these timeperiods are cut in half! The hardcore christians are actually offended by people openly grieving even a week after the funeral or memorial service (which could take place just a few days after the person died)! They see and use your sorrow as a measuring stick for your personal faith! It really is sickening. If you cry too much for too long, then you don't really believe they are in a "better place", and the idea of missing them when obviously you are supposed to see them again (even if its 20-50 years away), is just plain sissy-ish to these stone hearted asses. So suck it up, cover it up, deny your grief, or be considered "less" of a christian. My how healthy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 The hardcore christians are actually offended by people openly grieving even a week after the funeral or memorial service (which could take place just a few days after the person died)! They see and use your sorrow as a measuring stick for your personal faith! It really is sickening. If you cry too much for too long, then you don't really believe they are in a "better place", and the idea of missing them when obviously you are supposed to see them again (even if its 20-50 years away), is just plain sissy-ish to these stone hearted asses. So suck it up, cover it up, deny your grief, or be considered "less" of a christian. My how healthy! Oh how true White Raven!! The church that I was at last...the pastor was a real bitch....no way to put how I feel toward her nicely. Anyway, there was a member of the church that lost her husband....she was really a mess after that. He was the love of her life. She would mess up and make mistakes and all (she just crumbled mentally, do not know how else to explain it) and the "pastor" was getting a major attitude toward her. She then told me in a rant, "Her husband died 2 years ago, GET OVER IT!" I was like, WTF???!?!?! GET OVER IT?????? I was so mad over that! I let her know it too! I told her that just because her husband does not mean a lot to her, does not mean that other women share that feeling toward their husbands. They truly expect you to bounce right back after that too! I was not really permitted to have a grief period....and if I was depressed over it, it was satan because I was doubting that they were in heaven, which was saying I was doubting god..... total bull crap. Christianity causes more problems than it is worth for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa Mystica Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 My husband just got a call about a christian missionary couple whose newborn son died at three weeks of age. How devastating and horrible that'd be for anyone; my heart goes out to them - yes, my ungodly, satanic heart feels badly about this couple's tragedy. But, of course, my husband is told in the next breath that this couple is praising god for ... everything. They're simply so thankful for all the good things god has graced their lives with and how he continues to give compassion and stength. So typical. Bury the honest grief any parent would naturally be feeling and needs to experience so they can heal emotionally, and focus instead on (or at least pretend you're focusing on) all of god's goodness and blessings. It's utterly dumbfounding how that mindset comforts and soothes one's soul ... or comforts the people around them. Yes, god allows these horrendous things to happen so we are strengthened by growing closer to him; he is overflowing with unwaivering mercy and glory. Whatever! Excuse me while I vomit. That is pretty sickening. I know stuff like this is one of the things that bothers me about the Christian system. "Rejoice- even when God screws around with your emotions!" No thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Yeah, that is sad. God didn't kill their kid, sometimes shit just happens. How horrible to think the god you worship would kill your children just to teach you something. Yet, many times people believe this and think it's a loving, good thing. Sick, sick, sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 The church that I was at last...the pastor was a real bitch....no way to put how I feel toward her nicely. HER?!?! BLASPHEMY!! THOU SHALT NOT SUFFER A WOMAN TO TEACH! THEY SHALL BE SILENT IN THE CHURCH!! JEZEBEL! Oh sorry...my fundy roots still poke through every now and then. Where's my spade? Yes, my ex lost her grandfather several years ago. There wasn't a hell of a lot of grieving in that family. I swear, a week later it was as if the man had never been there...aside from the pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 The church that I was at last...the pastor was a real bitch....no way to put how I feel toward her nicely. HER?!?! BLASPHEMY!! THOU SHALT NOT SUFFER A WOMAN TO TEACH! THEY SHALL BE SILENT IN THE CHURCH!! JEZEBEL! Oh sorry...my fundy roots still poke through every now and then. Where's my spade? Yes, my ex lost her grandfather several years ago. There wasn't a hell of a lot of grieving in that family. I swear, a week later it was as if the man had never been there...aside from the pictures. LOL How true! She is a Jezebel! On a serious note, that is a shame that it happened that way for her grandfather. Seems like that it is how it is in most churches. (the ones that I have been in) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Whatever! Excuse me while I vomit. I'm not sure I can make it to the vomitorium either.... This sounds like a typical case of delaying dealing with reality by substituting fantasy in its place. Typically, this only goes on for so long and then the brain finally kicks in. 6 months or a year from now they will likely be divorced and in need of serious therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Luci Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Hi all, Having been an atheist all my life Ive always wondered if christians cope better with losing loved ones because they believe that God is loving and death is his will. I agree that it is quite twisted thinking to lose ur child and then worship the being that is supposedly responsible for the child's death. Its also strange that if a sick child survives christian parents will thank God for saving the child but if the child dies they will accept that it is Gods will and God did it for some mysterious but good reason. Anyhow, even though that way of thinking is strange wouldnt it be good to not be sad if ur loved one died? Thats one of the few things I envy in christians... the fact that they think there is a good reason for a loved one dying and that they are going on to a better place. However in reality how many christians react joyously to a loved ones death? From what Ive seen on tv/news etc. it seems lots of christians get as upset as an atheist would. Can anyone answer this for me? I know my christian mum gets really upset when she hears of someone's death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrayman7040 Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Luci, I am going to agree with you that I do envy the hardcore Christians for being able to handle the deaths of loved ones so well. One of my best friends became this fucking robot of a Born Again Christian in his late 20's. When I attended the funeral home visitation of both of his parents who died a few years apart, he just had this strange smile on his face the whole time. I never once saw him looking like he was grieving. I must say from a selfish standpoint it was easy for me not to be dealing with a grieving friend, yet it was too fucking wierd. And ironically his parents weren't too religious at all, so in reality he had to question whether their souls were actually saved or not. I also know a very dear lady who lost a 15 year old son to a tragic accident. She too is very devout and trusts in God that there was a good reason for the death of her son, and she lives a very joyous life knowing(in her mind) she will see him for eternity. Unfortuneately we realists will never be able to live in that blind state of bliss. It's sad but true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I think a lot of the hardcore Christians aren't really dealing with people's deaths, though. They're completely and totally in denial about it. IMHO, it is much healthier to accept it and move on with your life than to pretend you're going to see them again when you're dead. But whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts