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Samuel

Parents modeling behavior, painful? Frustrating?

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Ok, so I don’t know where this is going or why this was important to me, but it provoked some questions...

 

I was deliverying for postmates (a part time job which sucks, and do not recommend it) and I had a delivery of alcohol. The lady who I was delivering it to texted me and asked me put it in a bag because she didn’t want her kid or kids to see. 

 

It made me curious about modeling behaviors of parents and children. I know for all sorts of reasons as a gay man kids won’t happen unless my life is really extremely well put together. So I more or less take myself out of the equation when it comes to this question at this point in my life. However since this is something that’s not on my mind often, I don’t ask myself the question of how I would behave in that circumstance. 

 

To further complicate the situation, having become an atheist allows me to step out of religious and social norms. So I was trying to put myself in the shoes of this lady and I was just blown away by how complicated such a circumstance would be for me. This idea of being one thing and then modeling other behaviors to your children was hard for me to grasp. 

 

I have questions ladies, men. Does modeling behaviors impinge on your personal development? Does modeling socially acceptable behaviors lead you to wonder why the fuck am I modeling this shit? Especially if you are surrounded by religious sorts of people.

 

Also the lady getting the alcohol made me feel like I was supposed to be in a position to judge her and model some sort of shame or acceptance (which was by far the least desireable thing to me because it made me feel complicit in things which I don’t care about or at least havent figured out what I care about, and which I don’t want to take responsibility for —like hundreds of situations in life do at the moment—) 

 

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Well, I think that the kids know exactly what's going on. Every kid I've ever known has been a lot smarter than the adults around them think they are. They know fakes when they see them. If someone is going to set an example for kids, that example has to be an honest one.

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On 4/16/2019 at 8:44 PM, older said:

Every kid I've ever known has been a lot smarter than the adults around them think they are. They know fakes when they see them.

 

Very true!  Then the adults don't understand why their kids are so sneaky and don't obey the rules.  Reminds me of a Christian who complained that his son was so rebellious.  As he drove away I noticed a radar detector on his dash board.

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My guess is that nobody is perfect, but we can still strive to do right by children.

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