garrisonjj Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Any extians ever go through the study of the babble's origins,church rules,and reasons why NOT to believe? I am tired of studying and just know that religion doesnt work for me. Therefore, i am at the FUCK IT ALL stage. Yet,family constraints will force me to attend services which just rips me apart. Going,,,just gets me soft and full of guilt again. Please dont tell me just to stop,I would if I could but can't. Any advice to keep the deprogramming up? Thank you, gary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Not so much a tip for deprogramming, but something to watch for is some severe anger surrounding the church, within yourself. Knowing it is bunk and going and hearing what is to you, now, essentially blasphemy on a weekly basis can be rather grating. It's something I ran into and feel I should warn you about. As for keeping the deprograming, it is just a day at a time, some are easier than others. The difference is that you now know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Yeah, been there, done that. At least I live on my own and and I'm not forced to attend church by anyone. As for keeping the deprogramming up, just keep coming here. (Or anywhere you have non-Christian friends, for that matter.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waynus Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 I too attended for a while after ceasing to believe and the big problem was my anger. It's illogical I knew sitting in church I would hear Christian propaganda, what else? That did not stop the anger and aggression building in me. Partly because I did not have a chance to express my view and partly because 98% of what was said I knew was factually wrong. What did help was web forums where I could express my anger and for me starting a blog helped air some of that. In the end though I just stopped going which was a viable option as while she still attends my wife thinks as I do, so no conflict. Keep reading and exploring there are great web sites, books, organisations pod casts etc to keep you moving forward in your learning. I don't think of it as deprogramming anymore, now it's about learning more. Hang in there and vent here. Goodluck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Feel for you GarrisonJJ. It's a tough process to go through. At least you have this site to go to during the painful transition. I'm lucky to live on the other side of the world to my family. Most of them don't know yet. Only two of my brothers know my apostacy, but I knew they would take it, since they are extreme "backsliders" currently. And I can relate to Waynus that you go through an anger period. So be careful. It can blow up in the face of the people you love most. Now I'm getting more settled and "light-footed". I had a discussion with my sons friends a few days ago, and they're not hard-core Christian, but it was interesting, I really made their heads spin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 There's always the option to go to church and cause such a scene that your family will never want to take you again. Show up in an AC/DC t-shirt and heckle the preacher. Play your Gameboy or bring a book to read. Smoke a cigarette in the pews. Make up insulting lyrics to the hymns and 'em sing loud. Soon you'll be church-free! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Any extians ever go through the study of the babble's origins,church rules,and reasons why NOT to believe? I am tired of studying and just know that religion doesnt work for me. Therefore, i am at the FUCK IT ALL stage. Yet,family constraints will force me to attend services which just rips me apart. Going,,,just gets me soft and full of guilt again. Please dont tell me just to stop,I would if I could but can't. Any advice to keep the deprogramming up? Thank you, gary I don't want to pry too much, but what are the reasons you can't stop going? The reality is, that unless you face some sort of abuse for not going, it reallly is in your power to stop going if that's what you want. I have two nephews who are the children of my ultra-fundamentalist nutjob sister. They rebelled and became 'pagan'. She hates it, but they still live at home and not much has changed for them. In my case, I have a wife and children who are religious, as well as parents, siblings, and all other relatives. Yet I put my foot down and said "fuck it". They are powerless to do anything because I'm an independent adult fully within my legal rights. My wife was devastated and hates it, but she didn't leave me. I was willing to risk that though. The key to any negotiation is the willingness to walk away from the deal. That's true where religion is concerned as well. You CAN exert yourself, unless there are consequences you are unwilling to face. You have to live with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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