God for a day

[Wertbag]

John slept soundly after an uneventful day and a night like any other. He didn't usually dream and certainly had never experienced a lucid dream such as the one he now found himself in. 

The grass plain stretched away to the horizon. The long grass, spotted with dandelions, waved gently in the warm summer breeze. The only feature which broke the sea of green was a single tree under which a figure of a man could be seen. 

John looked at himself, finding he still wore the pajamas he went to bed in. "You'd think I could dream myself something a bit more fitting for summer" he joked to himself, and before the thought had finished clearing his lips he found himself clad in shorts and t-shirt. "Whoa, a lucid dream. I've heard of these, where you can control the world" with a thought he summoned a chocolate milkshake to his hand, laughing like a child in a toy shop. 

He approached the figure and soon the features of an old man patiently waiting came into view. John was disappointed. He had hoped it was going to be one of those dreams, where a buxom blonde awaited him. Could he change it? He imagined a... The old man interrupted his chain of thought "Enough fun and games, we need to get down to business. Come join me, my boy." 

The old man was sitting cross legged on a red and white checkered blanket, and John quickly sat opposite. The man smiled "This will be quite a shock, and what I'm going to tell you is a once in existence type event... I am god." 

John didn't think that was amazing at all, after all this was a dream, so why would meeting god be unusual? Heck, if a mermaid riding a unicorn went passed he would hardly blink an eye. 

"I did create the universe but I've let life evolve naturally. I've returned from time to time to see how life has proceeded, and was overjoyed to see primates rise to dominance."

John interrupted "Sorry, but I don't believe you exist. I'm an atheist and there is simply no evidence that you are real." 

The old man smiled "I don't care if you believe in me, my existence doesn't revolve around you. But don't worry, after what I plan you will never doubt again." 

"Okay, I'll bite. What is it that you intend to do?" 

"Humans are generally stupid, with the ability to learn. Unfortunately their actions have often proceeded the learning and the poor state of the world is a result. I've picked you as a good soul, filled with empathy, with no preconceived notions of the supernatural, to be my agent on earth. I will grant you the temporary power to make the world a better place."

"Sounds cool, so I can make beer volcanoes and summon strippers at will?" 

"Please take this seriously, you will have the power to do great good or to destroy the world. I need to know you are on board with this responsibility." 

"Unlimited power and no rules? Hell yeah, sign me up!" 

God sighed "Its not unlimited power and I will take it back the instant you summon a beer volcano. Think carefully before you act, consider what you can do to help the world and I believe you can make earth a utopia." 

With a jerk John awoke. He looked around his bedroom, everything seemed to be exactly as it had been and his wife still slept beside him as before. As real as it had felt, it had just been a dream. 

It was early to be up on a Saturday, but his mind whirred too much for further rest. Could he have more lucid dreams? Maybe he should Google how to best induce them? 

He glanced in on his sleeping kids, before heading downstairs to fix himself an early breakfast. 'Damn' he thought 'we are out of bread, can't have toast this morning'. He turned back to the kitchen bench to find a new loaf sitting there. Had that been there a minute ago? Surely his wife must have picked it up on her way home?

He sat mulling over his dream. What would he do with godlike powers? He clicked his fingers "All cancer cured, just like that. Ebola no longer exists and those nasty parasite worms can go straight to hell." 

His wife wandered down "Good morning, oh, did you pick up some more bread?" she asked, putting a couple of slices in the toaster. 

"No" John replied "I thought you must have picked it up. Thats strange." 

They sat on the couch and flicked on the morning news, it was pandemonium. 'Breaking News: all cancer patients have been cured. Doctors baffled as wards empty around the globe."

"Oh my god, its true!" 

"What is?" asked his confused wife. 

"I dreamt of god giving me powers, only it was real and my wish came true!" 

She looked at him like he was crazy "Prove it then, do something magical." 

He thought about it. He wanted a quick and obvious test, one that could not be disputed. He had it, her hair... 

In an instant her short blonde hair was replaced by long flowing, blood red locks. 

They both screamed in unison. "I can change the world! Oh my god, how should I do it?" 

It took 10 minutes before the adrenaline and shock had passed enough to discuss options. "How about disease removal? Aids, HIV, HPV, plague..." 

"Yeah, that's a good start. How about I pull all trash out of the ocean?" 

"You could reverse climate change, plug the ozone hole and give the world some new form of clean energy." 

"I could make every serial killers heart explode, make every rapist impotent and any child molesters dicks burst into flame." 

"How about water to Africa? Oh and do something about those jihadists." 

"Heart burst anyone who enjoys torture or beheadings?" 

"Yeah, and how about anyone who thinks of mugging another person is struck blind for a day?" 

"I like that. Perhaps we expand it to include burglers, thieves, vandals and arsonists." 

"You do realise we have come up with a ton of ideas in just a few minutes? Why didn't god do any of these obvious things?" 

"Umm, he said he was busy. Doesn't really care about humans, so just lets suffering happen." 

"Sounds like a dick. So even though he could save millions of lives with practically no effort, he just can't be bothered?" 

"Yeah, pretty much."