Question To All Ex Christian Women

[Guest freedwoman]

Hello sisters. I have a very important question I need to ask you all. When you were still Christian's how did you feel and what were you thoughts on being commanded to submit to/obey your husband's in EVERYTHING? Like your husband is now your god. I've always had a problem with that. Some Christian's even say that even if the wife is more qualified to be a leader she must still submit to her husband. They say that it's a sin for the wife to lead or have equal say so with her husband. I'm actually glad that one of my former Christian co workers refused to submit to her husband. He told her he didn't want her to work. Not even when the kids were at school. She refused to submit and worked anyway. What do you know. Her husband got injured on the job and his workers compensation couldn't pay for all the bills, groceries, house and car payments. Luckily the wife made the better desicion. If she would have just blindly submitted they would have all been homeless. In my thoughts submission is abuse plain and simple. No one should be forced or commanded to submit to anyone in a relationship. But if they want to then cool. Do it. I know lots of Christian women are fine with that and even derive some pleasure being dominated by their men. Kinky. Anyway sorry about that. I say no to forced or commanded submission. That is why I avoided marriage like a disease when I was a Christian.

 

[freshstart]

This concept always rankled me, but to be honest, even the most conservative Christian women I've known throughout my life have been smart enough to either rebel, ignore a "domineering" husband, find other work-arounds, or marry someone who didn't take the doctrine of submission that seriously (and those men are pretty easy to find nowadays).

 

[Guest freedwoman]

Thanks for your reply.

[Margee]

Lordy, how I wanted to be a submissive woman and wife. And I tried to play the part during my christian years....but I was always too sassy and my mouth got in the way......

 

I don't like anyone who tries to control me. It's why I always ran my own business.

 

I was always at the alter asking  god to help me with these things (and ask for forgiveness) but it never really got better. Lol

[Moxie]

I never bought into that bullshit. I've never been married. I witnessed so much domestic violence in my family done under the guise of "wives submit to your husbands" that it's very hard for me to consider ever being married.

[Guest freedwoman]

Thank you ladies. I could never submit to anyone in a relationship. I'm mentally just as capable as any man. 

 

Mona. Sorry about the domestic abuse you witnessed. I hope it is not happening anymore.

 

I'm glad neither of you ever bought into it.

 

[Guest freedwoman]

Oh yeah. So that also means that according to the Bible the man that jumped out of the window of a two story house to leave his child and wife in there to burn would have to be submitted to! Even if the woman would have tried to save the family!

[Guest freedwoman]

On 3/5/2020 at 4:24 PM, freedwoman said:

Luckily the wife made the better desicion. If she would have just blindly submitted they would have all been homeless.

So according to that stupid, patriarchal, misonynist God and his inferior brained followers, God would much have rather the wife submit to her husband and the entire family be homeless! While the husband, father, leader, boss, and protector is injured and unable to defend his family! Exposed to danger, the elements, and lack of food and water! Um okay God. The wife should ALWAYS submit to her husband even if his leadership exposes their family to danger, hunger, thirst, and sickness! I just hope that their God wasn't too angry at that sinful, rebellious, woman! Geez I wonder how her God punished or disciplined her?!

[Aqualung]

When you think about it, All of that submission of women to their dominant husbands IS very kinky, which makes me think the men who wrote the bible must have really been into BDSM! 

[LeiaBryant]

On 3/5/2020 at 7:24 PM, freedwoman said:

 

I will never submit to a man ever again. I spent three years in a Christian School run by independent fundamentalist Baptist(NIFB doctrine). I was told that women not having authority over a man meant I could not own a business, run for public office or even vote. FUCK that, I am now a liberal bisexual radical feminist witch (Wicca) . God may have made man and woman but the Goddess gave us magick and made us equal. I am free at last, praise the Goddess I am free at last.

[Guest freedwoman]

19 hours ago, AyahuascaPhoenix said:

When you think about it, All of that submission of women to their dominant husbands IS very kinky, which makes me think the men who wrote the bible must have really been into BDSM! 

Those women must enjoy being dominated. If some man tried to command me to submit to him? Well let's just say he'd be rushed to the E.R. and I'd be sent to jail! I have fought men like that and won. Your average man doesn't hit that hard. I know from experience.

[Guest freedwoman]

9 hours ago, LeiaBryant said:

I will never submit to a man ever again. I spent three years in a Christian School run by independent fundamentalist Baptist(NIFB doctrine). I was told that women not having authority over a man meant I could not own a business, run for public office or even vote. FUCK that, I am now a liberal bisexual radical feminist witch (Wicca) . God may have made man and woman but the Goddess gave us magick and made us equal. I am free at last, praise the Goddess I am free at last.

 I won't worship a goddess either. Plus I respect and adore lots of men. Platonic of course. 

[Guest freedwoman]

Votes for women should come with drafts for women. Women should be able to do their own heavy lifting and labor jobs. Equal lefts for equal rights. Anyway. Don't want to get off topic. This is a question about submitting Christian brides not feminism.

 

Men I do respect you!

[LeiaBryant]

31 minutes ago, freedwoman said:

 I won't worship a goddess either. Plus I respect and adore lots of men. Platonic of course. 

I respect some men, being a feminist doesn't mean disrespecting all men. I would encourage you to not give up on spirituality after leaving Christianity and at least research and learn about other religions.

[Guest freedwoman]

6 minutes ago, LeiaBryant said:

I respect some men, being a feminist doesn't mean disrespecting all men. I would encourage you to not give up on spirituality after leaving Christianity and at least research and learn about other religions.

[Joshpantera]

This is an interesting wave of similar female members recently. Hard done by christianity and the patriarchal context of christianity. Do stick around! Whether agnostic, atheist or theistic pagan. I feel like we ex christians need to stick together and support one another despite theistic or political differences of opinion. And this is a great home base for global communication and interaction between diverse ex christians abroad.  

 

I hope you all feel very welcome here at ex-C!

 

 

 

 

[Guest freedwoman]

13 hours ago, Joshpantera said:

This is an interesting wave of similar female members recently. Hard done by christianity and the patriarchal context of christianity. Do stick around! Whether agnostic, atheist or theistic pagan. I feel like we ex christians need to stick together and support one another despite theistic or political differences of opinion. And this is a great home base for global communication and interaction between diverse ex christians abroad.  

 

I hope you all feel very welcome here at ex-C!

 

 

 

 

Us women need to grow some ovaries and stick together. I dare some Bible thumping man to command me to be quiet or submit to him to my face! I'm fight trained. So... Anyway.

 

Sisters, know your worth and keep fighting the good fight.

 

And no I'm not promoting violence in any way. One should only attack if someone is attacking them first. Self defense only! No starting a fight!

[LeiaBryant]

On 3/9/2020 at 4:35 PM, AyahuascaPhoenix said:

When you think about it, All of that submission of women to their dominant husbands IS very kinky, which makes me think the men who wrote the bible must have really been into BDSM! 

If it was written by kinksters it would be okay with femdom too. (I have a friend who is a dommantrix ) so yeah I don't think it is kinky.

[Guest freedwoman]

21 hours ago, LeiaBryant said:

If it was written by kinksters it would be okay with femdom too. (I have a friend who is a dommantrix ) so yeah I don't think it is kinky.

Not really. The men were the dominate ones. They probably would have killed a woman who tried to dominate them. So I disagree with your statement. Don't you think owning 700 wives and 300 concubines is kinky? Those men were nothing but repulsive sluts. 

[Guest freedwoman]

Besides this thread is about how Christian women feel about submission. Not femdom or maledom. 

[LogicalFallacy]

On ‎3‎/‎11‎/‎2020 at 5:30 AM, LeiaBryant said:

I respect some men, being a feminist doesn't mean disrespecting all men.

 

I would hope not.

[ConsiderTheSource]

Any belief system that encourages or demands that one submit to/be less than solely based on their sex/gender is infinitely immoral.  

 

Hell no I would not tolerate this.  I would beat it down.  If I could not beat it down, I would run far far away.  It takes indoctrination/programming/brainwashing.. the expertise of religion, to get one to the point of accepting this....or even considering it might be "ok" in a particular circumstance.

 

Soooo glad to be far far away from the religious mindfucks.

[Guest freedwoman]

33 minutes ago, ConsiderTheSource said:

Any belief system that encourages or demands that one submit to/be less than solely based on their sex/gender is infinitely immoral.  

 

Hell no I would not tolerate this.  I would beat it down.  If I could not beat it down, I would run far far away.  It takes indoctrination/programming/brainwashing.. the expertise of religion, to get one to the point of accepting this....or even considering it might be "ok" in a particular circumstance.

 

Soooo glad to be far far away from the religious mindfucks.

[MOHO]

Up to this point I have been avoiding more Mrs. MOHO dialog as I'm sure it's really rather an "There he goes about Mrs. MOHO again" kinda thing.

 

She grew up (reminder: she's 10 years my senior) at the onset of the "I am woman; here me roar!" era. I was there too but much younger and did not really take it all in. Anyway fast-forward a few decades and, with the fundymental, misogynistic xtian doctrine, she is 180% the other way. I don't know how much feminism she bought into in her life but I watched little changes which accumulated over the years.

 

Just before our wedding back in '96 she she said "honor and obey" would not be mentioned. I was totally okay with that and gave it no thought. NOW she asks me before spending a dime (OK a lot of that is because we are both financially responsible), also asks is she can go somewhere (not always but almost always), and consults me when making career life decisions in such a manor as if my answer has 100% impact on the decision. 

 

Now I must say that I find this tremendously embarrassing and, except from her fundy friends, I get that look.

 

NO! NO! NO! I am NOT like THAT! I scream on the inside. And I wonder what folks must think about me. Let me put this in a little more perspective. I consult her too but mostly as they relate either to both of us (financial decisions ) or if I need her legal advice. But her perspective here is that she is being good little xtian.

 

Thanx for "listening"

</rant>

[TruthSeeker0]

On 3/5/2020 at 7:24 PM, freedwoman said:

Hello sisters. I have a very important question I need to ask you all. When you were still Christian's how did you feel and what were you thoughts on being commanded to submit to/obey your husband's in EVERYTHING? Like your husband is now your god. I've always had a problem with that. Some Christian's even say that even if the wife is more qualified to be a leader she must still submit to her husband. They say that it's a sin for the wife to lead or have equal say so with her husband. I'm actually glad that one of my former Christian co workers refused to submit to her husband. He told her he didn't want her to work. Not even when the kids were at school. She refused to submit and worked anyway. What do you know. Her husband got injured on the job and his workers compensation couldn't pay for all the bills, groceries, house and car payments. Luckily the wife made the better desicion. If she would have just blindly submitted they would have all been homeless. In my thoughts submission is abuse plain and simple. No one should be forced or commanded to submit to anyone in a relationship. But if they want to then cool. Do it. I know lots of Christian women are fine with that and even derive some pleasure being dominated by their men. Kinky. Anyway sorry about that. I say no to forced or commanded submission. That is why I avoided marriage like a disease when I was a Christian.

 

Smart woman, re avoiding marriage. 

I think a lot of people in my ex church, women as well, would have had a big problem (if I had let them in on this) with the fact that I was willing to marry only if it was a partnership and not a dictatorship or man as "head of the household". The other thing making me run in the opposite direction from any such Union was that birth control is forbidden in that church. I remember sitting through a sermon where it was mentioned that the wife only had a right to say no to sex if it was a pre arranged mutual decision, made only for health purposes (both mental and physical). I was inwardly enraged - that a woman who already has 10 children has no power over the number of children she has, or over her own body. 

I received a great deal of pity from other women in the church that I "hadn't been able to catch a man" (that's supposed to be your lifes purpose). I have nothing but deep pity for them now.