AtheistMommy Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 This is the last essay I wrote for my English class. I haven't gotten my grade back yet. ************************************************************************* Who am I? Often, I find it hard to describe myself. It’s ironic that my final exam would require an essay about me. So who am I? I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, and a sister, an activist, a naturalist, a feminist and an Atheist. However, it all comes down to one thing: I am a woman. I grew up in a devout Christian family. At about the age of ten I was kicked out of Sunday school and never made my communion. By twelve I refused to go to church. The whole time I felt as if I never belonged and yet I wanted to so badly. My grandmother started to look down at me. Telling things like, “you’re going to hell, just like your mother.” For the most part, I grew up without my parents, my father being a drunk and my mother having to work to support me and my sister. I didn’t know any better for a very long time. To me, this was normal. As I got older I realized, this isn’t normal and in fact it’s pretty dysfunctional. This is about the time my quest for a “good” family came about. My grandmother forced my father to be a father for a few years. She would make him take care of us while he wasn’t working. I got to see the unpleasant side of my father. He would often take us to the beach, park or a drive in movie. Not really to spend time with his children but to drink and watch women and they walked by. This is about the time I became a feminist. I’m very sure my father is at the root of my feminism. The turmoil between me and my grandmother rose to a new high with every year I became older. The more we fought, the less I wanted to be anything like her. With every argument she had a new bible quote to throw at me. I learned them quickly. Her behavior motivated me to learn more about the bible. I picked up the book and read it. I couldn’t get though the entire thing. The stories were sad and full of death and punishment. It just wasn’t what I wanted to read. It’s now August 2000; I’m in church reading a passage from the bible at my grandmother’s funeral. This was my turning point. For so many years I didn’t even know who I was. For so many years I thought I’d be happy if I could just follow the rules, be the way my grandmother wanted me to be. I was no where near happy. Instead, I was lost and confused. I didn’t know who I could talk to about what I was feeling inside because I knew that it would upset all the members of my family if I told them. Knowing this, I turned on my computer and searched out an answer. This is when I found out who I really was. For days I went in chat rooms talking about what I felt. Believe it or not strangers supported me. They helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal and they asked me questions I had never thought of before. I answered all of them honestly. That’s when someone asked me, “Do you believe in God?” I was taken back by this question, so I sat and thought for three whole days, “Do I?” So I sat and thought, and thought, and I thought about everything that has ever happened in my life. Thinking about the bible, and all I know about being religious, at least in Christianity. Looking back on my life made me realize, I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in any god or goddess. In fact, I am in love with nature and life without gods. I realized that what I had been doing all these years is trying to go against who I was. Trying to be like everyone else and make someone else happy. Once I realized this, I was finally free. The world became so much clearer. My goals had a path. Finally, I have stopped denying me. So now when someone asks me who I am I tell them this: Hello, my name is Yvette and I am a mother of two, who loves her family very much and would do anything for them. Who also wants equality for women and men, freedom from and for religion, with a love for nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 That's a good essay. I'm glad you finally figured things out for yourself. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to find your own center. What a hard task, going to school and having children! What are you going to school for? Welcome to Ex-C. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheistMommy Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 That's a good essay. I'm glad you finally figured things out for yourself. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to find your own center. What a hard task, going to school and having children! What are you going to school for? Welcome to Ex-C. Taph Thank you It is hard sometimes, but seriously, I don't think I'd be doing this if it wasn't for them. My father-in-law said, "you should have done this before you had children." To which I replied, "I wasn't ready." Which is the truth, I wasn't ready to take that next step. However, because of them, I became ready and I have so much more motivation than I did before I became a mommy. I'm going to school for a Bachelors degree in computer science and information. My major is still up in the air. I'm not sure which one I want to go with. My choices are Computer information or gaming and graphics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 That's a good essay. I'm glad you finally figured things out for yourself. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to find your own center. What a hard task, going to school and having children! What are you going to school for? Welcome to Ex-C. Taph Thank you It is hard sometimes, but seriously, I don't think I'd be doing this if it wasn't for them. My father-in-law said, "you should have done this before you had children." To which I replied, "I wasn't ready." Which is the truth, I wasn't ready to take that next step. However, because of them, I became ready and I have so much more motivation than I did before I became a mommy. I'm going to school for a Bachelors degree in computer science and information. My major is still up in the air. I'm not sure which one I want to go with. My choices are Computer information or gaming and graphics. Is that your picture? If it is you're really pretty. Your kids are young and that's even harder. Give yourself a pat on the back for taking steps to make a better life for yourself and your kids. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheistMommy Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 Is that your picture? If it is you're really pretty. Your kids are young and that's even harder. Give yourself a pat on the back for taking steps to make a better life for yourself and your kids. Taph Yup, that's me Thank you My son is 4 and my daughter is 2. Here's a pic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Is that your picture? If it is you're really pretty. Your kids are young and that's even harder. Give yourself a pat on the back for taking steps to make a better life for yourself and your kids. Taph Yup, that's me Thank you My son is 4 and my daughter is 2. Here's a pic What a nice picture! Your kids are cuties! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheistMommy Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 What a nice picture! Your kids are cuties! Thank you That picture was taken for my husband. And believe it or not, that day the kids were not in the mood to take pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 That is a really well-written essay. I tend to have a knack as a writer, but am currently experiencing major shaken confidence in the ability (wont go into detail but it involved having my college essays reviewed). Congrats on the writing and good luck on getting your Bachelor's degree! that is a cute pic, BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheistMommy Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 That is a really well-written essay. I tend to have a knack as a writer, but am currently experiencing major shaken confidence in the ability (wont go into detail but it involved having my college essays reviewed). Congrats on the writing and good luck on getting your Bachelor's degree! that is a cute pic, BTW. Thank you Yeah, I do know what you mean. Seems to me that what might be good to one teacher can be totally wrong to another and still follow the rules of English. It's all an opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Yeah, I do know what you mean. Seems to me that what might be good to one teacher can be totally wrong to another and still follow the rules of English. It's all an opinion. yeah ...I did a paper quite a few years back contrasting Abraham of the bible to a schitzophrenic. I had so much red ink on that paper it wasn't even funny. Worse still, all the red ink was full of circled phrases with nice little words like "too cynical" and "why are you so angry." There wasn't a single gramatical error, yet I got a C- on it... I could have contested the grade, but I made an A in the class despite that single paper so I didn't see any real benefit from making a scene about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtheistMommy Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 yeah ...I did a paper quite a few years back contrasting Abraham of the bible to a schitzophrenic. I had so much red ink on that paper it wasn't even funny. Worse still, all the red ink was full of circled phrases with nice little words like "too cynical" and "why are you so angry." There wasn't a single gramatical error, yet I got a C- on it... I could have contested the grade, but I made an A in the class despite that single paper so I didn't see any real benefit from making a scene about it. Congrats, I finished one of my English classes (the one I wrote this paper for) with a B. I wasn't too happy about that. Especially since I had gotten it looked over by another English teacher who works in my college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Congrats, I finished one of my English classes (the one I wrote this paper for) with a B. I wasn't too happy about that. Especially since I had gotten it looked over by another English teacher who works in my college. I had my all of my papers proofed by an English Lit grad student I worked with. I tend to be pretty grammaticly challenged so I took all the help I could get! (I learned more from my friend than all my teachers combined!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts