Guest Fallen Angel Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Hi All I've been out of the church for many years now - probably nearly half my life (I'm 45). The first half of my life was all Anglicanism, then Methodism - Sunday school, pious parents who forced me to go to church, and finally in my early 20s I fell into a charismatic, pentecostal church which finally cured me of the whole shabang. I shudder to think about how I bashed the bloody bible for most of my childhood, and how I spent much of my mid teen years terrified of the end of the world (my Dad got involved with the JWs at one stage and I fully expected the world to end in 1975... the stroke of midnight on 31 December 1975 was a great moment for me when I realised the JWs were wrong.) I cringe when I look back at my diaries and see what a Jesus-infested freak I was - how scared - how judgemental - how condemnatory. How afraid of satan, damnation and my own self and my basic instincts. Speaking in tongues - loving all that woo woo clap trap. UGH. I feel like that must have been another person. My parents still believe, though even they have become a lot more questioning of their own faith. When my brother came out as gay in 1983 their cosy Christian world got turned on its head. Best thing that could have happened to them really. Suddenly life was not so simple. Now, religion, and christianity in particular, makes me really really angry. When people approach me on the street to talk about god, I snap at them. I am more scared about my kids getting trapped in Christianity than I am about my daughter liking death metal. (I told her she's not allowed to get into devil worship - because there ain't no devil either!!!) Both my kids - my son is 20 and my daughter is 17 - are critical thinkers and able to withstand the christain crap that is foisted on them by my ex-husband's family. The one good thing that came out of it all for me? I met my ex-husband at the charismatic church. He was really only looking for a lay (as many people who go to places like that ARE let me tell you!) but he got me and I got two wonderful kids. So it wasn't all bad. How I lost my faith? I dunno - it happened by degrees I think. It wasn't a sudden anti-epiphany! Perhaps I just got sick of all the fear and the lies. It took me a long time to be able to say 'ATHEIST' rather than agnostic, but now I can. I can accept that there is nothing beyond this life. I do know that I don't understand life, the universe and everything, but I don't mind anymore. I don't need to understand everything in order to be happy with life while it lasts. I can say that losing Jesus gave me more freedom than finding him ever did. I'm kind of glad I went through it, got it out of my system and came out the other side. It has opened my eyes to the stupidity of most, if not all, belief systems and the trickery and fraud of people who claim to have other paranormal powers. I am no longer scared of eternal damnation, and I know that I can be a good person without having jesus in my life. In fact, a better person! Thanks for listening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Welcome Home! Home, because you were born a non-believer and now you have returned from the world of lies, control, and power hungry zealots. Don't worry about the things you used to do, a wise man once said that anyone who still hold to the beliefs they had before 30 hasn't learned anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Hi All I've been out of the church for many years now - probably nearly half my life (I'm 45). The first half of my life was all Anglicanism, then Methodism - Sunday school, pious parents who forced me to go to church, and finally in my early 20s I fell into a charismatic, pentecostal church which finally cured me of the whole shabang. I shudder to think about how I bashed the bloody bible for most of my childhood, and how I spent much of my mid teen years terrified of the end of the world (my Dad got involved with the JWs at one stage and I fully expected the world to end in 1975... the stroke of midnight on 31 December 1975 was a great moment for me when I realised the JWs were wrong.) I can relate to the retrospective diary reading... I feel like I was a different person. How did I even think like that? Anyways, welcome... you'll find lots of friends here! Don't worry about the things you used to do, a wise man once said that anyone who still hold to the beliefs they had before 30 hasn't learned anything. A popular saying in Hoosierland (Indiana) is "if you aren't liberal when you're young, you don't have a heart. If you aren't conservative when you're old, you don't have a brain." Since I'm not old yet, I don't know how true that is... but I know lots of "old" people who are liberal and smart... so I don't think it's true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Welcome Fallen Angel... Like a bottle of good hootch, decanting may take some time before the liquid is ready to pour. (OK unless yer like me, look at lable and say "Oh hell thats a GOOD WEEK!" and snark it.. ) For those who are in the enviable position to sit back and examie the things they once held fast as *truth* ExC provides a place to sound off and read. Feel welcome to add to the eclectic mix of persons and experiences here. kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Hi, Welcome! I can relate to your story a lot. I think the thing about being and ex-Christian and having children is that we talk to them about the dangers of it, why it's not true, and how it affected us. We put a personal story to it and that's like an immunization for them against it. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evelyn Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Welcome, Fallen Angel! I relate a lot to your story, though I took the backwards route in comparison to your path - Ass. of God and pentecostal to Episcopal and out. I never got involved with the JWs but was a rapture fundy xian and expected the second coming before I graduated from high school in 1977. I, like you, sort of deconverted by degrees though it seemed sudden one day when I became honest with myself and admitted I didn't believe any more and was no longer going to force myself to believe like I had been doing for a long time. I like your comment that you are not going to let your daughter worship the devil as he doesn't exist either. There are some good books out there on the history of the devil, might be good for you and your kids to read them and get some history and perspective on where the idea of the devil came from. More ammo for them when they get xian crap about satan... Again, welcome, glad to have you here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Welcome Fallen Angel! Though I suspect you're not "fallen" and never were an angel, heh heh. Glad that you've joined us on this site. I was in the Ass of God, too - what an ass I made of myself. Oh well - it's great just to be a human being, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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