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Relationship abruptly ended due to religion


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I am a non-Christian woman who had been in a serious relationship with a man who is a Christian for 3 years. He was a strong believer of Jesus but nothing out of the ordinary. He went to church once or twice a week and prayed as normal at his home. Our relationship was splendid and we were lovers and best friends. I have helped this man and he has helped me become the best versions of ourselves. He was the most wonnderful, loving, caring man I have ever been in a relationship with. We had planned a future together. I was to convert to Christianity in due time. Suddenly he started putting pressure on me to convert and start going to church. He said he could not ask me to be his wife unless I became a Christian first. He then said that he wants to become more religiously inclined and start living a life for Jesus Christ only. Dedicate his life to living for Jesus and serving his people. This happened within a few days and he said if i wanted a future with him, I needed to do the same. I would need to give up the life I wanted and the life we planned together for 3 years all because he decided to make such a change. I knew he was asking for too much and he refused to discuss anything or compromise and he broke up with me. It's been 3 months now and I am completely heart broken. He has become so cold hearted towards me. He has made changes in his life to get more involved in his local church, stopped watching tv, stopped listening to any music except Christian music, stopped everything he used to do that is not aligned with the religion. Some of those ways are good for him but he has become like an extremist. I ask mature and logical questions and all he says is that he cannot hurt Jesus by doing anything except what he told me about his new life. I am gutted as this is not the man i fell in love with. This change happened overnight. He says Jesus spoke to him and he believes his life needs to be dedicated to serving Jesus and his people. He wants to donate all his money to the needy and basically spend all his time in church to serve people. I don't believe I have any place in his life. I feel cheated as we planned a life together for 3 years. He lacks understanding as he had given me an ultimatum. It's either i live that life with him or we cannot be together any longer. I am having a hard time trying to move on from this as I still miss the man he once was. He does not take my calls or reply to text messages. He has completely distanced himself from me. I cannot explain how hurt i am as I saw a future with this man and not so long ago he saw the same with me. I still struggle to understand how someone can change so drastically so soon. He loved music, watching movies, even sex! He was one of the most fun men yet still belived in God to. Now he refuses to do any of those things he once loved. He made a selfish decision by himself when we were in a serious relationship. Someone please help me make sense of this. He expected me to desert my family as they are non Christians and says I could not attend any non Christian function or gathering. Like I said he refused to meet me halfway regarding anything. I am lost for words because the breakup and the change came as a huge shock to me. Prior to this our relationship was simply brilliant.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Perhaps you didnt know him as well as you thought you did.  It may be difficult, but do your best to move on in life.  Perhaps see a therapist to help you understand what happened?

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