Lied To My Mom

[LosingMyReligion]

Okay, yesterday I decided that my life would be easier if I just told a fib...

 

I decided that I would say I still believe in Jesus Christ as the son of god.

 

Well, it worked. My mom is so glad that I am into Jesus again...So my being gay is really not that big of an issue anymore. I told her that Jesus told me I could be gay and still be a holy person(I even showed her where Jesus said some people are born gay...which I didn't know until I did some research). So she believes it now too...Infact, it is helping her to reexamine her belief system.

 

I still believe in a higher power so we still pray together. But she can't(nor can my cultist family)stand the idea of an ambiguous creator who isn't so personal(like, "Dear God can you flip my light switch on my foot is broken...Screw the starving children in Africa and Asia")...I still agree with all the basic tenets like, "Love thy neighbor," "The Truth shall set you free," and all kinds of things like that...but basing a complete and total belief on all of it, to me, is illogical. But if it means me being left in peace then so be it...My mom is a sweet lady and I love her to death, but I've decided that I would lie to her for her own good...She is too indoctorinated to ever leave the church.

 

So I just thought, "screw it...whatever...He walks on water and rises from the dead."

 

My none belief in Jesus was making her nuts. She even wanted me to drop out of school because, "I am getting too intelligent for my own good..." Ironically, my entire family says this...School is not good for me because I am getting too intelligent and rationalizing god...lol.

They say that I think too much and try and rationalize things by reading. that I am being influenced by professors and etc...As if they don't let preachers and pastors manipulate them.

 

It will be hard when people ask me if I want to goto church...But I already have an ace in the hole. I refuse to goto church at the risk of hearing a homophobic pastor. My mom respects that decision too.

 

Of course they are going to try and use scare tactics to turn me hetero but they'll get over it when I find a new boyfriend.

 

Have you ever lied about your beliefs just so someone would leave you alone?

[bob]

I have not had opportunity to lie, but I have hid the truth. In my line of work, I come across many Christians, and if they knew I was a non believer, I would probably go broke. Why would they hire me when they could hire the Christian down the road?

So, when they talk of answered prayers I just smile, nod, and hope they will not ask me any questions about my "faith".

[pandora]

Wow... I hope you can keep it up! At least things are settled for now....

 

So what verse is this that says says gays are born gay?

[LosingMyReligion]

Wow... I hope you can keep it up! At least things are settled for now....

 

So what verse is this that says says gays are born gay?

 

 

It is a verse in Matthew 19 I believe...I'll look it up again. Jesus speaks of Eunuchs born that way from their mother's womb. So I did some research on Biblical Eunuchs, and the term "eunuch" often referred to not only physically castrated men but also gay men...

 

The irony is that no church I've ever been to ever addressed that issue.

 

I actually think Jesus was gay himself. That would be so cool if they ever found concrete proof.

[Taphophilia]

Yes. When I first moved to Florida, my mom wanted me to go to her fundy church, because she wanted us to be one big happy clapping for Jesus family. The pastor asked me a bunch of questions and I lied my ass off. I just told him what he wanted to hear. It was just easier to lie.

 

Anyway, I don't think a fib will hurt if it keeps them happy. Hello? Would you tell your best friend that those new pants, they love, love, love, makes their butt look huge. It's the same thing.

 

Taph

[Evelyn]

I was all torqued recently after I told two acquaintances that I attend church. I was using an old definition to define myself and it bothered me.

 

However, I don't know if I will tell my family that I'm not an xian any more. That would cause lots of trouble and I don't want that.

 

Being hypocritical can mess with your mind but if you know and admit to yourself that you are telling a lie to keep the peace in your situation, you can probably deal with it mentally.

 

I'm glad your mom is okay with you not attending church. That will help you with not having to deal with that every week.

[scitsofreaky]

I have not had opportunity to lie, but I have hid the truth.

Same here. It is just too awkward(sp?) of a topic for me with my family. I wouldn't even know how to go about telling them.

However, I don't know if I will tell my family that I'm not an xian any more. That would cause lots of trouble and I don't want that.

Once again, same here. I have an, shall we say, interesting relationship with my parents, and I don't think it could handle them knowing.

[Amethyst]

Yes. When I first moved to Florida, my mom wanted me to go to her fundy church, because she wanted us to be one big happy clapping for Jesus family. The pastor asked me a bunch of questions and I lied my ass off. I just told him what he wanted to hear. It was just easier to lie.

 

Anyway, I don't think a fib will hurt if it keeps them happy. Hello? Would you tell your best friend that those new pants, they love, love, love, makes their butt look huge. It's the same thing.

 

Taph

 

I was honest with my parents, and they seem pretty much okay with it. Although my stepmom is into church as a social club, so she still tries to get me to go to be with other people, ignoring the fact that I'm in a gaming group that meets bi-monthly, a Star Trek club that meets monthly, and a writing critique group that meets weekly. I'm also joining a speculative fiction critique group that meets once a month. I may end up switching writing groups though, I'm seriously thinking about it.

 

But apparently all those clubs are not enough for my stepmom. She fails to realize that I am not a social butterfly and can only handle so much social activity at a time, particularly when I don't know people in a new group or if the new group will reject me for not being Christian (or worse, try to re-convert me). Hence why I lean towards sci-fi groups. People there tend to be really open-minded. Also, she is among the superstitious people who think spirituality is like a multi-vitamin that should be taken at least once a week, even if you don't believe in it.

[Dhampir]

I'm sure my people arent' clear where I stand. They know I haven't been to church in like 4 years, and just before I left home, I was caught with a book which just happened to use the word 'atheist' perhaps 5 times, ironically, it was actually decrying the concept as an alternative to belief in god.

 

I told my sister that I thought that Jesus existed, but not necessarily that I believe he's the incarnate son of god. I also told her that I believed in heaven, but not hell. Neither of these things are true; I don't believe Jesus existed, nor do I believe in heaven.

 

Of course, at the time, I did it because I was living at home, and I didn't want any drama, but now, if they ever brought it up, I'd be more than happy to tear their faith to shreds. I know that sounds mean, but I honestly don't care what they think about my religious preferences, especially after some of the bullshit it put me through.

[whatifidontwantausername?]

I think most people lie about their beleifs at some point in their deconversion, I know I did and now I just avoid the topic.

 

Of course in my family when you say I dont want to talk about it, people listen.

 

-Jake

[spamandham]

Okay, yesterday I decided that my life would be easier if I just told a fib...

 

Have you ever lied about your beliefs just so someone would leave you alone?

 

Yes, and I don't feel bad about it either. It's none of their fucking business, and they can't possibly prove I lied.

 

It sounds like you are still dependent on your parent(s)?

It also sounds like there will be negative ramifications to being honest?

 

So lie until you are on your own. You'll learn to live with it.

[Guest Emerson]

Wow. Well I wish you the best, I really do. I don't understand how anyone can be intelligent for their own good. True, not all intelligent people have common sense but you can use intelligence to free yourself, like free yourself from religion. Intelligence is great for many things, otherwise the world would be run by stupid people.

 

You'd think that if people have brains, that they should actually USE them and not have them rot. See this is what I just can't stand about religion and its followers, its like religion makes them stupid, they check their brains at the door. I'm just happy to not have been born to a religious family. I really am.

 

There's no denying that the christian bible contains positive messages like loving your enemies, treating people like they want to be treated, but not all of it is realistic of course. I can't love my enemies and I don't even want to but I do get what your saying Losingmyreligion. I do get it, and a lot of holy texts say pretty much what the bible says, to do good and be good, etc...

 

I know what its like with mothers, I have one of my own, thankfully she's not religious. I love her as well, and I understand sometimes you need to do things to have peace. I've done it before, I've lied to people about being religious and believing in certain things, etc. You're not the first one to do that! You're not alone.

 

Everyone needs to have their own beliefs, whatever they may be. Sometimes families get uncomfortable if we're not exactly like them. You can't let that get to you. I wish you the best!

 

Okay, yesterday I decided that my life would be easier if I just told a fib...

 

I decided that I would say I still believe in Jesus Christ as the son of god.

 

Well, it worked. My mom is so glad that I am into Jesus again...So my being gay is really not that big of an issue anymore. I told her that Jesus told me I could be gay and still be a holy person(I even showed her where Jesus said some people are born gay...which I didn't know until I did some research). So she believes it now too...Infact, it is helping her to reexamine her belief system.

 

I still believe in a higher power so we still pray together. But she can't(nor can my cultist family)stand the idea of an ambiguous creator who isn't so personal(like, "Dear God can you flip my light switch on my foot is broken...Screw the starving children in Africa and Asia")...I still agree with all the basic tenets like, "Love thy neighbor," "The Truth shall set you free," and all kinds of things like that...but basing a complete and total belief on all of it, to me, is illogical. But if it means me being left in peace then so be it...My mom is a sweet lady and I love her to death, but I've decided that I would lie to her for her own good...She is too indoctorinated to ever leave the church.

 

So I just thought, "screw it...whatever...He walks on water and rises from the dead."

 

My none belief in Jesus was making her nuts. She even wanted me to drop out of school because, "I am getting too intelligent for my own good..." Ironically, my entire family says this...School is not good for me because I am getting too intelligent and rationalizing god...lol.

They say that I think too much and try and rationalize things by reading. that I am being influenced by professors and etc...As if they don't let preachers and pastors manipulate them.

 

It will be hard when people ask me if I want to goto church...But I already have an ace in the hole. I refuse to goto church at the risk of hearing a homophobic pastor. My mom respects that decision too.

 

Of course they are going to try and use scare tactics to turn me hetero but they'll get over it when I find a new boyfriend.

 

Have you ever lied about your beliefs just so someone would leave you alone?

[LosingMyReligion]

Thanks everyone...

 

1.) I am still dependent on my family since I'm in college and working part-time I pretty much live at home to avoid a student loan.

 

My mom is an extreme Bible banger, and attributes every single thing that goes wrong in the world to the wrath of God and etc...

Not to mention my brothers who can't get over the fact that I "CHOSE" to be gay...

 

So right now I am just going along to get along.

 

2.) Now when I discuss religion I just want to cringe. I can't believe I used to believe some of that stuff...

Whenever I hear a Christian person talk it is like some foreign language to me...There is just so much superstition involved.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty much a thiest and into studying about the afterlife and etc...

But my family believes that god LITERALLY has a personal hand in every MINUTE detail in their lives...Right down to making sure the rent gets paid.

 

It has been hard enough for them to cope with me being gay...So I'll just pretend to be a stone cold Christian until I leave home(I have three semesters of college left).

The good thing is that my mom is getting over her homophobia.

The rest of them are acting like it is somekind of plague on their lives...But they'll have to get over it. The Book of Revelations can't scare me out of being gay.

[Guest Emerson]

Lots of people live at home during college and beyond, so I totally get it. You do whatever you have to do. Some people have told me that they "choose" to be gay, but a lot of people don't. Also a lot of people try to get "deconverted" by going to christian counseling or these christian deconverting programs that are popping up all over the country now.

 

Back in high school, my best friend was the daughter of a pastor and she was gay, her family had a hard time with that. They sent her off to a bible college after high school graduation, hoping that she'd find a guy to get married to. I don't know what happened to her, but you don't always have control over certain things like sexuality.

 

It sounds like your mom is a normal mom who thinks she's doing the right thing, its great that she doesn't make you go to church, kudos to her for coming to terms with you being gay or at least trying to. Hey she's trying! I think that many parents do their best to raise their children, a lot of it comes from the way that they themselves were raised. Parents sure aren't perfect. I know mine aren't!