Guest Emerson Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I would love to hear your opinions about this. I've been friends with this chick since we were in middle school, all right. We have so much in common, our personalities are very similar. I'm in my early twenties now, and we've managed to stay friends throughout all this time, even though we went to different high schools. I feel like a doormat in this friendship. But then I feel kind of bad of letting go since we've been friends for so long, though now that I think about it maybe we should have stopped being friends back in high school. One of the things that bugs me is that she hasn't gotten me any birthday presents for the past four years while all these past four years I've gotten her birthday gifts, christmas gifts, christmas cards. Now I know that she can afford it, since she graduated a couple of semesters ahead of me! She's already been hired for a job that pays pretty well for an entry level job, its in the $30,000 to $35,000 range and she still lives at home with her folks while she saves up so she can move out. My birthday was this last month in March and I just feel so hurt that she couldn't even get me at least a .99 card, I mean geez. Not even that! I live in a really hot deserty area, and you can't even get around this town without a car. I live in the west, we're close to L.A. but this chick would NEVER give me rides yet she gives her other friends rides. Well this was when I was having trouble with my car. I haven't talked to her in weeks, I just hate her okay not really but I'm pissed off at her. I don't know if I want to talk to her about this, I really don't. I'm not afraid of confrontation but I really don't want to deal with her about anything just because I know her so well. I hate the way she treats me. I'm just a chump to her, and I also get made fun of anytime I tell her any of my goals. At this point, I don't tell her anything. I used to think she was my best friend, one of them but I can't call her that anymore. If this were you, would you let go of this friendship? Even though we've been friends since middle school? I feel like she's not a "true friend" at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 ... If this were you, would you let go of this friendship? Even though we've been friends since middle school? I feel like she's not a "true friend" at all. hmm. Sounds like the friendship has already let go of you. True friends don't make their friends feel bad. If it were me, I wouldn't bother confronting her. What's the point? She'd just tell you that you're wrong. I just wouldn't bother contacting her again. Let her make the next move -- and if the next time she contacts you is only when she wants something from you or if she doesn't ever contact you, you will have proof that she was only using you and that you haven't lost anything by ridding her from your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Emerson Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Thanks Thackerie! Right, that's what I was thinking of as well, why even bother confronting her? She is so judgemental! So judgmental, over these past few years I've told her less and less of what's going on in my life. Just because I really don't want her judging me outloud or in her mind. Anything that I do say to her ends up being blabbed about to everyone. Ugh. Thanks Thackerie! Right, that's what I was thinking of as well, why even bother confronting her? She is so judgemental! So judgmental, over these past few years I've told her less and less of what's going on in my life. Just because I really don't want her judging me outloud or in her mind. Anything that I do say to her ends up being blabbed about to everyone. Ugh. I'm over this so called friendship. I think I just needed that little push! Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunNSand4me Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Do you have the hots for her in some way? Think about it. If not that, there's obviously some underlying reason why you kept coming back for more, even after she'd treat you poorly, blow you off, pass judgment. Even if you're now over it, it'd be good to at least identify what you were getting out of the imbalance ... cuz you were getting something out of it, whether you realize it or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 I am awful at sending out cards and stuff... especially friends that I don't see all the time. It doesn't mean I don't care, though. Personally, I would try to have a heart to heart with her before I cut it off. It does seem that she is moving on, so I would suggest just letting it go, but at least say farewell... she deserves that after all those years of friendship, even if the last few years were bullshit. You never know, she may not realize how she's hurting you and she may want to renew your friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Ummm... Do a websearch for Sam Kinnison's "Emotional Tampon" and get your thinking straight with this situation.. No matter how hard you beat this dead horse, it aint'a goin' any faster. kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evelyn Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Your "friendship" is terribly one-sided, so I'd say blow it off, though if you really wish to stay in touch, send a card once or twice a year, on her birthday and at xmas, but no gifts. That way, she does hear from you from time to time and has your current address so can contact you if she wishes. I have a friend from high school that I got back in touch with about 15 years ago. For a while, we wrote detailed letters a couple of times a year. This was before either of us had email. Then, all of a sudden, I just got xmas cards but no letters. That went on for a while. Then, a few years ago, she remarried and her husband began sending emails "from both", so now and then I get an email, usually jokes but when she was in the hospital last year I got regular updates from her husband. I've been on both sides of this issue. 20 years ago, I stopped staying in touch with one close friend after I moved far away because I knew she wouldn't approve of my boyfriend who later became my husband. Another one I sort of let slide because I was doing all kinds of things and she wasn't doing anything and it seemed, to me, that we didn't have anything in common any more. I also found myself dropped by a co-worker who was a close friend who transferred to another dept and started up new friendships and left me behind. I have kept in touch with another friend who moved away a few years ago. Since we both got email soon afterwards, we regularly send emails to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ped Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 she sounds like a narcissist. i had a friendship almost exactly the same as yours, i let it go and havent looked back, and it feels good. i would do the same if i were you. or, atleast never ever keep in contact unless she gets ahold of you....which would rarley if never happen...i'll bet you money on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 If this were you, would you let go of this friendship? Even though we've been friends since middle school? I feel like she's not a "true friend" at all. Would you throw good money after bad? Your prior investment in a relationship has no baring on whether or not it makes sense to continue to invest in it. This doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Cut your losses and break off contact. If she looks you up at some point, then you can decide at that time whether or not you care to do anything about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortunehooks Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 F*ck her, the best phrase I could give you, right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Emerson Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 thanks everyone, yeah I think I'm just going to let this go. I haven't talked to her since April 1st! lol. At some point, history in friendship just can't matter anymore. I just don't give a rip anymore. I'm tired and I'm done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infidel666 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Sounds to me like your being used and abused. There are some men sites that have sections dealing with this type of female behavior. Save yourself, cut her loose and don't look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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