I don't know how to let go of family

[Quark]

I've only one good friend I feel comfortable talking with about my grievances as an atheist, but--even though they'd say they don't mind--I'd feel like a pest if I ranted to them every time I felt the need.

I'm in a situation where I still have to rent a room in the same house as my devoutly religious parents. It's frustrating as a grown-ass adult, but what are you gonna do. I'm out as an atheist, so we generally try to keep our beliefs to ourselves. My dad and I, however, get together every week to eat lunch and discuss our differing beliefs. In the midst of the election, it's become increasingly difficult for me to quietly accept our differences. I'm bearing witness to my loved ones, the people who raised me, who are wholesale buying in to what their political party and religion (often one in the same) are preaching to them. Anything I've said to try and convince them of the pure corruption of President Trump have fallen on deaf ears. I'm unfortunately not a very articulate person, and even if I was... their beliefs are based on faith, not reason, so I'm not even sure they're capable of being reasoned with. I'm stuck having to watch them be delusional from the sidelines, and then--in the case of my pastor father--spread that delusion to their congregation.

 

I wish I could stop caring. I want to just... let go of the political climate, shrug off their religious indoctrination, and focus on more mundane bullshit like getting a more sustainable job or something, but this crap keeps creeping back into the mix. It makes me feel irrationally angry. It's probably what they felt like when they found out I was an atheist: They would have believed I'd fallen for a lie that is ultimately destroying my soul, and that's how I feel about them (a figurative soul, anyway)... but I guess it's already been destroyed, and I'm just having to face the reality that my parents are too far-gone to "save".

I don't even know what such a salvation would even accomplish at this point. I guess I have this fantasy that one day they would reach the same conclusions I've reached. We'd then talk honestly and openly about our lives in hindsight, unpack all the mistakes we've made as a result of our faith, but instead they double-down and find excuses for why things haven't panned out the way they think God intended. They've invested too much of themselves at this point to let go. My dad especially: He's made his religion the center of his identity. To lose it would be to lose himself, and frankly the guy's so psychologically troubled as-is that I don't know if he'd be able to handle that kind of trauma.

 

I miss the days when I was younger and my fantasies were of writing a sci-fi book, or drawing an epic fantasy battle, and not constant debates and possible discussions with my parents to help them see reason. I think it's impossible, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it ALL the time. I don't want to think about that shit anymore. At this point, I just want to find some semblance of peace with the whole thing.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Perhaps it is time to stop trying to help them see what you see. The conflict makes it in your face all the time. Their imaginary view of reality is something they share with others and they feel like they belong to something bigger and more important than themselves, perhaps even with inside information on the super secret invisible warfare of angels and demons blah blah blah. Scams have been successful for centuries because people want so much to believe that they have found the answer to paradise, riches, fame, sex, etc. Once people have taken the bait and are on the hook, they are the force that keeps themselves hooked. The felt possibility that they will get the big payout completely occludes any facts and demonstrations that they were duped. 

 

Your life is yours. What you choose to dwell on will shape your emotions and outlook on life. For me, nothing beats going outside and being in nature, even if it is only my back yard in the rain. It changes my emotions for the better and makes it easier to keep breathing another day. My facebook friends are mostly ranting politically all of the time, and I barely even look anymore because they think that expressing their opinions makes it come true somehow. I know that most of what I see play out is way beyond my control, and my opinions amount to nothing. So I try to focus on things I can do around me to keep busy, like cooking, making music, helping people with computer issues, watching sci-fi shorts on Dust (YouTube). 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

I can identify with the Trump thing.  My wife and I both have family we have distanced from over him.  He has a knack for dividing people and causing trouble.  

 

Before my father died we decided to agree to disagree, and stopped talking religion and politics.  And my brother and i now visit seldom, and briefly, when we do visit.  Look to the future and srart planning and building what you want.  You are VERY LIKELY not going to chamge family.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

[Tsathoggua9]

You really need to stop worrying about "saving" anybody. Just do your best to live your own life, free of hindrances, especially religious ones. You can still pall around with family if you want, but you probably shouldn't do it too often.

[Joshpantera]

On 1/14/2021 at 9:05 AM, Quark said:

I wish I could stop caring. I want to just... let go of the political climate, shrug off their religious indoctrination, and focus on more mundane bullshit like getting a more sustainable job or something, but this crap keeps creeping back into the mix. It makes me feel irrationally angry. It's probably what they felt like when they found out I was an atheist: They would have believed I'd fallen for a lie that is ultimately destroying my soul, and that's how I feel about them (a figurative soul, anyway)... but I guess it's already been destroyed, and I'm just having to face the reality that my parents are too far-gone to "save".

 

Don't concern yourself too much with trying to save them from christianity. That's something that they will have to get on their own if they are ever to change.

 

When I was a teenager I told my parents I was atheist and they were freaking out. I was stubborn about it. Held my ground. This was in the early 90's during the grunge era. I'm playing in bands, refusing to attend church, and arguing with people if they tried to reconvert me. Lucky for me, however, my parents took it all in and did their own researching and left the church too, eventually. That was an exceptional situation, though. It's possible, but highly unlikely that your parents will just up and change. 

 

The political situation is changing. We do not discuss politics here as a policy. But just briefly, the balance has shifted and things will be different for those who oppose the current administration. The sides have flipped again and your parents will be the one's pulling their hair out every evening watching the news...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

9 hours ago, Joshpantera said:

 

 The sides have flipped again and your parents will be the one's pulling their hair out every evening watching the news...

 

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

As a general rule, it's not always easy with family, whether it be politics, religion, or differing ideas on raising children.  Dynamics do change over time, as Joshpantera has alluded; but the constant often seems to also be the toxic.  It isn't, really; but human nature tends toward the negative. 

 

My own family has been through hell these past two years.  Some parts have been broken; others healed.  It's been painful.  I've let go of a lot of the drama.  The hard truth is, I can neither change nor control anyone other than myself.  I can communicate my own grievances.  I can set boundaries.  But, in the final tally, I can only choose to accept or not accept the behavior of another.  Over the past two years, as certain dynamics within the family have changed, I have found the behavior of a particular few to be increasingly unacceptable.  There are times when diplomacy fails and one must decide whether a good war is preferable to a bad peace; or vice versa.

 

Sometimes walking away completely is the best thing to do.

[Quark]

On 1/14/2021 at 6:58 PM, Fuego said:

Your life is yours. What you choose to dwell on will shape your emotions and outlook on life. For me, nothing beats going outside and being in nature, even if it is only my back yard in the rain. It changes my emotions for the better and makes it easier to keep breathing another day. My facebook friends are mostly ranting politically all of the time, and I barely even look anymore because they think that expressing their opinions makes it come true somehow. I know that most of what I see play out is way beyond my control, and my opinions amount to nothing. So I try to focus on things I can do around me to keep busy, like cooking, making music, helping people with computer issues, watching sci-fi shorts on Dust (YouTube). 

Yeah, I've hit the point where I've realized I dwell far too much on these imaginary future conversations between actual conversations we have about these topics. I'm going to have to spend some time "reprogramming" what I think about, I think. Maybe when it gets warmer and the pandemic situation gets a little better I'll get lost in nature a little more.

 

On 1/14/2021 at 10:23 PM, Weezer said:

I can identify with the Trump thing.  My wife and I both have family we have distanced from over him.  He has a knack for dividing people and causing trouble.  

 

Before my father died we decided to agree to disagree, and stopped talking religion and politics.  And my brother and i now visit seldom, and briefly, when we do visit.  Look to the future and srart planning and building what you want.  You are VERY LIKELY not going to chamge family.

It's rough, because... I mean I was a die-hard Christian for 25 years, and knowing the way my mind works I'm always like... trying to decrypt how I finally pulled myself out of it so I can feed those thoughts back through my friends and family, but it of course never really works out that way. People are too different for that, I guess. What works for me won't work for everyone, even if they're family.

 

On 1/15/2021 at 5:03 AM, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I love this. It's a practice I've taken to heart in recent years, but could still improve on. I always had a tendency to let my mouth fly, even when I had no idea what I was talking about.

 

On 1/15/2021 at 1:57 PM, Joshpantera said:

The political situation is changing. We do not discuss politics here as a policy. But just briefly, the balance has shifted and things will be different for those who oppose the current administration. The sides have flipped again and your parents will be the one's pulling their hair out every evening watching the news...

Yeah, that's already happened some, and part of what prompted me to rant here. They were ranting about Trump's second impeachment and said how he was the best president we've had since Reagan, and I spoke up when I should have pretended like I didn't overhear them. I guess a large part of what frustrates me is that this shift IS coming, and I know how it's going to negatively impact them, when it'll all be over things that are most likely going to be improvements.

 

On 1/16/2021 at 8:58 AM, TheRedneckProfessor said:

As a general rule, it's not always easy with family, whether it be politics, religion, or differing ideas on raising children.  Dynamics do change over time, as Joshpantera has alluded; but the constant often seems to also be the toxic.  It isn't, really; but human nature tends toward the negative. 

 

My own family has been through hell these past two years.  Some parts have been broken; others healed.  It's been painful.  I've let go of a lot of the drama.  The hard truth is, I can neither change nor control anyone other than myself.  I can communicate my own grievances.  I can set boundaries.  But, in the final tally, I can only choose to accept or not accept the behavior of another.  Over the past two years, as certain dynamics within the family have changed, I have found the behavior of a particular few to be increasingly unacceptable.  There are times when diplomacy fails and one must decide whether a good war is preferable to a bad peace; or vice versa.

 

Sometimes walking away completely is the best thing to do.

Someday, maybe. I have this sinking sense that once I get my own place again I might never speak to them again, except for maybe around holidays, and I don't know if that'll be good or bad. I just know I won't feel compelled to initiate contact, and they probably won't either.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

24 minutes ago, Quark said:

I don't know if that'll be good or bad. I just know I won't feel compelled to initiate contact, and they probably won't either.

It will be neither good nor bad.  It will simply be.

[jupiter789]

On 1/14/2021 at 8:05 AM, Quark said:

their beliefs are based on faith, not reason, so I'm not even sure they're capable of being reasoned with. I'm stuck having to watch them be delusional from the sidelines

I haven't posted on here since before the pandemic.  I keep thinking of things I want to say to you all.  I'm just having a really hard time getting any of those thoughts out into the public.  I'm going insane here, though.  I'm so angry, I've cried, a lot, many times.  My family is fucking crazy.  I feel like I'm living in a twilight zone episode.  It's not just my family, though, I feel surrounded by absolute morons.  (I am SO GLAD, I don't live at home anymore btw.)   But, I truly sympathize with all of you surrounded by fucking Republicans.  I am so done with all of this.  I am so so so very done.  My folks think antifa did everything and Trump is still "god's chosen one."  Makes me gag to think about it.  They were already adamant climate deniers - for why, I still don't understand.  The most pathetic part of all of this nonsense to me is that fact that bad people take advantage of naïve, dogmatically driven Christians, and they're using that to push their own filthy agenda.  How Mr. Grab 'Em By The Pussy ever got my Dad's vote is so maddening to me.  He insists I just need to listen to that orange asshat speak, and I'll realize he's become a Christian, now he's a "good man." What the actual fuck is wrong with these people.

I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I want to move out of my state.  These stupid fucking people are wrecking my home.  I fucking hate them for it.  I hate them for taking advantage of stupid people, and I hate my Christian family members for being those same stupid people!! I live in a city in a red state.  We've been fairly progressive most of the time, but I seem to find the work places that are full of conservatives.  It infuriates me that these people are going around encouraging each other talking about how awful everyone is being to Joke the Pumpkin King and how our country will never recover because blah blah blah liberals -- nothing they say ever fucking means anything, does it!!!!  It feels good to vent a bit, but guys, I'm having a really hard time staying polite.  I have serious road rage - especially if you have anything Magat on your vehicle.  I flat cussed out a lady in Dillons for making a comment about communists.  It was actually pretty amusing, do not call me Karen, I cussed out fucking Karen.

Anyone else in the same position, I feel for you.  I really do.  Also, anybody else questioning every single thing their parents ever "taught" them because now those same parents are acting like senile seditionists! (Not really, I will not be turning anyone into the FBI, don't worry - I don't do Facebook, and my parents are kind of old, lol.  They're only a real danger to me!) I really hope this all blows over, but it's really sad.  I can't take anything they say seriously anymore.  Anyone who reads this, thank you.  I don't have anyone to talk to about these topics.  My husband is supportive, but he's tired of hearing about it.  He says he realized the church was full of shit in eighth grade.  I remind him often that his Catholic family are super liberal democrats, so it's not the same thing.  His family doesn't care if he goes to church.  They still believe too much for my taste, but they're cool otherwise, I guess.  Still, any blue souls out there suffering in seas of red??  You are seen, you are heard, you are not alone.  Stay strong lovely creatures!  We're all on this damn planet together!

[◊ Weezer ◊]

2 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

 

 Stay strong lovely creatures!  We're all on this damn planet together!

 

And you and I are in Kansas together.  I agree with most of what you said, and get very frustrated at times, but am breathing easier now that we have a new president.  My wife and I are on the same page regarding Trump and the right wing, but both of us have siblings that have been Trump supporters and profess to be Christians.  Thankfully they live out of state, and our communication has tapered off in the last couple of years.  It is sad, but we can't change them (or anyone else) and have stopped trying to do so. 

 

I know it is like water off a ducks back, but keep on emailing our congressmen, and supporting other ways to fight the radical right.  And try to stay focused on life outside politics and religion.  And reminding ourselves of the wisdom contained in the serenity prayer.  HANG IN THERE!

[freshstart]

On 1/14/2021 at 9:05 AM, Quark said:

I guess I have this fantasy that one day they would reach the same conclusions I've reached. We'd then talk honestly and openly about our lives in hindsight, unpack all the mistakes we've made as a result of our faith

Boy, do I relate to this statement.  Its kind of like being an evangelical atheist, though.  I still engage with my brainwashed mother once in awhile, who has unfortunately influenced my kids.  Unlike you, I have never been brave enough to label myself as the "A word" - with her.  I did it for the first time at work and it felt like I was "coming out," a bit awkward.  The responses have been anything from indifferent to incredulous.  In any case, its my belief that being a good and kind human, living a joyful, confident life grateful for what we have, as well as maintaining a state of equanimity when responding to heated ignorance - is the one of the best ways to get under a Christian's skin.  I'm not there yet, btw, but working towards that!

[TABA]

11 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

It feels good to vent a bit, but guys, I'm having a really hard time staying polite.  I have serious road rage - especially if you have anything Magat on your vehicle.  I flat cussed out a lady in Dillons for making a comment about communists.  It was actually pretty amusing, do not call me Karen, I cussed out fucking Karen.

This may not be what you want to hear, but the problem I see here is your inability to accept that some people have views you strongly disapprove of.   It’s one thing to be upset by the views of family members, but these are total strangers you are getting enraged at.  This is not healthy, it’s corrosive to your well-being and you risk somebody punching your lights out, or running you off the road, in response to your outbursts. 

 

There are 7 billion people on this planet and many millions of them hold views that I hate.  But it’s both Not My Job to change their minds and futile to get angry with them.  You can move away from your family, your city, move to a blue state, leave the country even, and this problem will remain. If it helps you to vent non-violently, then vent, but at some point you’ve got to tackle the rising of your anger in the first place.

[Joshpantera]

5 hours ago, TABA said:

This may not be what you want to hear, but the problem I see here is your inability to accept that some people have views you strongly disapprove of.   It’s one thing to be upset by the views of family members, but these are total strangers you are getting enraged at.  This is not healthy, it’s corrosive to your well-being and you risk somebody punching your lights out, or running you off the road, in response to your outbursts. 

 

There are 7 billion people on this planet and many millions of them hold views that I hate.  But it’s both Not My Job to change their minds and futile to get angry with them.  You can move away from your family, your city, move to a blue state, leave the country even, and this problem will remain. If it helps you to vent non-violently, then vent, but at some point you’ve got to tackle the rising of your anger in the first place.

 

I second the above as far as advice goes. 

 

And I'll also add that political discussion is not allowed here, not at all. I have already given a warning earlier not to go about this as a 'political rant,' which is against forum rules and guidelines. 

 

17 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

My folks think antifa did everything and Trump is still "god's chosen one."  Makes me gag to think about it.  They were already adamant climate deniers - for why, I still don't understand.  The most pathetic part of all of this nonsense to me is that fact that bad people take advantage of naïve, dogmatically driven Christians, and they're using that to push their own filthy agenda.  How Mr. Grab 'Em By The Pussy ever got my Dad's vote is so maddening to me.  He insists I just need to listen to that orange asshat speak, and I'll realize he's become a Christian, now he's a "good man." What the actual fuck is wrong with these people.

I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I want to move out of my state.  These stupid fucking people are wrecking my home.  I fucking hate them for it.  I hate them for taking advantage of stupid people, and I hate my Christian family members for being those same stupid people!! I live in a city in a red state.  We've been fairly progressive most of the time, but I seem to find the work places that are full of conservatives. 

 

This is not vague, it's a straight forward 'political rant' against the guidelines of this forum. And it's not allowed. 

 

I let the earlier comments go and tried to keep it vague as to the politics. But things are now steam rolling into breaking the guidelines and rules of this forum. So this is a 2nd fair warning to pump the brakes and reconsider what's being posted here.

 

The purpose behind the standing rules and guidelines is the fact that ex christians are 'diverse politically and religiously' after leaving christianity. Not to mention that christians belong to 'both dominant political parties' in the US. It's not christians versus non-christians in politics, it's more like conservative christians versus liberal christians in US politics. And even that is TOO broad a brush to paint everyone with. Just a general trend to take note of. 

 

So for these reasons and more, it's been decided that political discussion is NOT allowed, the end. 

[alreadyGone]

On 1/16/2021 at 9:58 AM, TheRedneckProfessor said:

... Sometimes walking away completely is the best thing to do.

 

Sadly, walking away is all too often the only thing to do.

Family, friends, anyone/everyone else.

 

I personally believe that humans have somehow evolved themselves into a corner.

Never have there been nearly so many of us co-existing on the same planet.

And never have we been so very able via so many channels to communicate to others all the random unaccountable ugliness that is such a part of being human.
 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

1 hour ago, alreadyGone said:

And never have we been so very able via so many channels to communicate to others all the random unaccountable ugliness that is such a part of being human.

If you can't see the good, then be the good.

[Quark]

17 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I want to move out of my state.  These stupid fucking people are wrecking my home.  I fucking hate them for it.  I hate them for taking advantage of stupid people, and I hate my Christian family members for being those same stupid people!

Living in the thick of the Bible Belt, it's rough feeling like the only sane person around, whether it's true or not. Avoiding the specifics of politics, I can relate to getting angry at it all. I'm not proud of it, but I feel that way regardless, and it's something I'm trying to figure out how to come to terms with. I don't get angry while driving, but since I have a very physical job I can catch myself "venting" through that. I don't think it's particularly healthy. Like others have said, ideally it's best to accept that people believe differently than you and move on, but I have a hard time with that knowing how much harm those beliefs can cause. There's that element of feeling like you have the ability to affect change in people, but ultimately can't. It's thinking "If I tell them this one thing, I can change them" or "If I shake them a little and tell them how stupid they are they'll wake up and see it too" but neither of these things ever work. Whether you try and fail or do nothing... you feel helpless, and it's frustrating.

 

Sometimes I really get the appeal of stoicism. I wish I could just remove anger from my arsenal. I feel like I have a long fuse, but I light it a little too often, and when it finally blows it knocks me out for days.

[jupiter789]

9 hours ago, Joshpantera said:

So for these reasons and more, it's been decided that political discussion is NOT allowed, the end. 

Fine, sorry, I didn't know that or I wouldn't have posted it.  I'm an angry, hurt, isolated person right now and I thought I'd find some solace here.  Guess not.  It's my fault for not reading the guidelines recently.  However, in light of the crap going down in America right now, I thought I'd get some sympathy.  I'll leave.  

[Joshpantera]

3 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

Fine, sorry, I didn't know that or I wouldn't have posted it.  I'm an angry, hurt, isolated person right now and I thought I'd find some solace here.  Guess not.  It's my fault for not reading the guidelines recently.  However, in light of the crap going down in America right now, I thought I'd get some sympathy.  I'll leave.  

 

The idea is that political rants like this can make some people feel alienated (if they disagree with the politics), and want to leave. 

 

Looks like the opposite has happened - by not allowing political discussion you feel alienated and want to leave. So obviously there's a double edged sword to consider in all of this. But that doesn't change the rules that we have to go by. 

 

If you're isolated and alone and you'd like to talk religion and everything else, ok. Stick around. Have fun. And enjoy the community. 

 

If you'd like to talk politics, not ok. This community isn't for that. I'm sorry. 

 

You wanna kick some ass around and vent that way?

 

Then take it to the debate forums and try counter apologetic's against christians like this: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 hours ago, jupiter789 said:

Fine, sorry, I didn't know that or I wouldn't have posted it.  I'm an angry, hurt, isolated person right now and I thought I'd find some solace here.  Guess not.  It's my fault for not reading the guidelines recently.  However, in light of the crap going down in America right now, I thought I'd get some sympathy.  I'll leave.  

No need to leave.  Probably most of us here understand and have similar feelings, perhaps not as strong.  Just stay away from discussing politics.

 

Consider that anger is sometimes called a secondary emotion.  There is usually deep fear and/or sadness underlying it, but we have been conditioned to express it as anger. If your anger is putting yourself or others in danger, discuss it with your doctor or a mental health professional.   Best wishes!

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

On 1/14/2021 at 9:05 AM, Quark said:

 

I wish I could stop caring. I want to just... let go of the political climate, shrug off their religious indoctrination, and focus on more mundane bullshit like getting a more sustainable job or something, but this crap keeps creeping back into the mix

Just do it. Not necessarily stop caring about your parents but definitely let go of the political climate. Focus on your life and making it what you want it to be. Get that better job. Get your own place. For the next two years politics has been decided. No use dwelling on it. And this is coming from a trump supporter. At least I was until he lost the election. After that I wasn't pleased. 

 

Since I no longer embrace the teachings of the Bible. As an American I embrace the constitution. You and your parents have a right to your political beliefs, values, and affiliations. Let those issues be decided at the polls. Dont let it get in the way of your relationship with your parents. Life is to short and your parents life is even shorter. To soon they will be gone. Talk about the things you do agree on and love one another. 

 

When I was a Christian I had an uncle that didn't believe. I wanted him to be "saved" but I felt like ifnI tried to push to hard I might push him away. I didn't want that. So I decided Christian or not I was going to love my uncle just as he was. I wasn't going to let my religious convictions come between us. 

 

Now I do the same with my parents but in opposite manner. I can't stand their religion  didn't like it even when I was Christian because they have some beliefs that are out there. But I still love them and spend time with them. When it comes to religion I try to skirt around the subject if it comes up. I veer the conversation to something more neutral at the first opportunity. So far seems to work good with them. 

 

I really hope this helps. 

 

Best Regards,

DB

[Quark]

12 hours ago, Weezer said:

 

Consider that anger is sometimes called a secondary emotion.  There is usually deep fear and/or sadness underlying it, but we have been conditioned to express it as anger. If your anger is putting yourself or others in danger, discuss it with your doctor or a mental health professional.   Best wishes!

I've put a lot of thought behind this concept. I think I first heard Damon Lindelof refer to it that way when talking about the Leftovers (a show I highly recommend, especially if you have any history with basically any kind of faith). It's something I try to keep in mind whenever I'm not sure why I'm angry, and then I'm able to more quickly figure out what's wrong and can often self-correct. Now I just want to get to the point where I can prevent it entirely. I feel like I'm improving, but it's a slow and steady kind of progress.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

7 hours ago, Quark said:

 

Now I just want to get to the point where I can prevent it entirely.

 

I'm not sure that is even possible.  We are all just human.  Maybe just tone it down to aggrivation??

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

On 1/14/2021 at 9:05 AM, Quark said:

I miss the days when I was younger and my fantasies were of writing a sci-fi book, or drawing an epic fantasy battle, and not constant debates and possible discussions with my parents to help them see reason. I think it's impossible, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it ALL the time. I don't want to think about that shit anymore. At this point, I just want to find some semblance of peace with the whole thing.

Man, I feel you. When I was small my parents and my sister used to be able to talk about fun random things like art or stories. My sister in particular used to draw illustrations and write all these short stories that I admired. Somewhere along the way my family became very devout and pronounced in their fundamentalism, and it kind of sucked all personality out of them. I think they thought any conversation that wasn't theological was worldly and wasteful. Anyways, after my deconversion it's been hard to get a word out of them about anything. I think they're afraid that conversing with me about anything might "corrupt their soul". As a result, I'm basically cut off from family. 

 

I miss the days I used to talk to my sister about dragons...