How do you stop caring about "sinning"

[YouDontNeedToKnow17]

Hey, how do you get over the fear of sinning after leaving Christianity? I get really scared about lying and try to give as much detail about things, I feel bad if i dont tell my mom something. I even feel bad about drawing /writing something off google/pinterest in case it's "stealing". I feel bad if i say something mean to someone. How do I get over this? Its overwhelming and I feel as if I need to tell people everything. 

[midniterider]

1 hour ago, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

Hey, how do you get over the fear of sinning after leaving Christianity? I get really scared about lying and try to give as much detail about things, I feel bad if i dont tell my mom something. I even feel bad about drawing /writing something off google/pinterest in case it's "stealing". I feel bad if i say something mean to someone. How do I get over this? Its overwhelming and I feel as if I need to tell people everything. 

 

You may need to create a new moral framework. Or change it some. Basically, if something you are doing doesnt harm a real life human being, then it's mostly ok. Not telling someone something is not lying and it doesnt harm them. 

 

Regarding copyright, this may help: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use

 

There's a difference between calling someone a butthole and telling them they are annoying and need to leave you alone. You deserve as much respect as other people...and sometimes other people need to be put in their place. 

 

 

[florduh]

"Sin" is willfully and deliberately violating "God's will."

 

It's nonsense. It's still a good idea to behave responsibly and try to do the best you can when interacting with others in real life. Intention counts for more than imagined technicalities.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Do not do unto others as you would not have done unto you.  And the corollary: do not allow others to do unto you as you would not do unto them.

[pantheory]

On 3/6/2021 at 9:37 AM, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

Hey, how do you get over the fear of sinning after leaving Christianity? I get really scared about lying and try to give as much detail about things, I feel bad if i dont tell my mom something. I even feel bad about drawing /writing something off google/pinterest in case it's "stealing". I feel bad if i say something mean to someone. How do I get over this? Its overwhelming and I feel as if I need to tell people everything. 

 

Think about bigger and more worthy things to sin about that you don't feel compelled to do; that will take your mind off the small stuff.

 

Seriously, It's great to have morals but don't let anyone tell you what they're supposed to be. Believe whatever you want to but concentrate on beliefs that will make you happy which should involve helping others to some extent, in my opinion. Helping others when you can, will take your mind off of your trivial transgressions. Be cordial and smile as much as possible on the outside, which would soon result in your smiling to yourself inwardly.

[Tsathoggua9]

I don't think I ever really cared about "sinning". I know that I pretty much always treated others with respect. The "Golden Rule" and all that fun stuff. I never sweated the small stuff!

 

I think that it helped that I knew a few people who were really overly concerned, to the point of obsession, about doing everything just right, and seemed to be terrified of "slipping up" and getting God angry with them. They just seemed so absolutely nuts to me! There is a word for that condition that I learned a while back -- "scrupulosity"!

[TheDeconvertedMan]

On 3/6/2021 at 11:37 AM, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

I even feel bad about drawing /writing something off google/pinterest in case it's "stealing".

I think it's a good thing you don't want to take someone's intellectual property. Most pictures will tell you exactly how to attribute if you use it. Also check out Wikimedia Commons. Pretty much everything there is free to use and alter.

 

On 3/6/2021 at 11:37 AM, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

I feel bad if i say something mean to someone.

Also not a bad thing.

 

On 3/6/2021 at 11:37 AM, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

I feel bad if i dont tell my mom something.

I don't know how old you are, but it may be time to set some boundaries with your mom.

 

Not answering a question is not the same as lying. Dodging a question is not the same is lying. You can practice some of these things if you don't want your mom to know the whole truth about something.

 

[YouDontNeedToKnow17]

Thank you to everyone for your responses I appreciate them all 

[Myrkhoos]

I truly understand that. But it is not so much fear of sinning as some kind of religious perfectionism, bordering on scrupulosity/OCD type behaviour.

      First, this life has suffering in its DNA. Most or many choices simply mean balancing suffering or minimizing it not eliminating it. Like with Covid govt measures. It hurts some ppl, helps some ppl. Many times it is hard to quantify. So the idea that you will completely eliminate probl or suffering seems false and a problem that brings more suffering. Life is messy.

      How to deal with it. Well some introspection might be in order. What do you really fear and what do you really hope to get out of being perfect? Avoid Hell, get God's love, etc. Depending on the situation, a trained therapist could also help you out.

     Also general foundational stuff- contemplation, philosophy,,physics.

[YouDontNeedToKnow17]

14 hours ago, Myrkhoos said:

How to deal with it. Well some introspection might be in order. What do you really fear and what do you really hope to get out of being perfect? Avoid Hell, get God's love, etc. Depending on the situation, a trained therapist could also help you out.

     

It's neither I no longer have a fear of hell nor care about Christianity.

But when I was a Christian, I started stressing about so many little things and that unfortunately stuck with me after I left. I was emailing a therapist a while ago and I asked her how much it would cost to get sessions and she never responded. I'm a bit scared to contact another one again since my problems are a lot worse now than they were then. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

2 hours ago, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

I'm a bit scared to contact another one again since my problems are a lot worse now than they were then. 

If nothing else, you now have a compelling reason to believe that your problems will continue to get worse unless they are dealt with.

[Joshpantera]

On 3/6/2021 at 12:37 PM, YouDontNeedToKnow17 said:

Hey, how do you get over the fear of sinning after leaving Christianity? I get really scared about lying and try to give as much detail about things, I feel bad if i dont tell my mom something. I even feel bad about drawing /writing something off google/pinterest in case it's "stealing". I feel bad if i say something mean to someone. How do I get over this? Its overwhelming and I feel as if I need to tell people everything. 

 

I take it that you are a younger poster? Just checking because it's better to understand who we're advising about what. 

 

The bottom line is we are not generally afraid of sinning because we don't believe in the concept of original sin anymore. We've concluded that it's just mythology and not literally true. However, that is not a green light to act horrible, hurt people, feel justified in lying, or anything similar. There exists a socially constructed order of morality regardless of the existence of christianity or any other religion. And striving to do your best to live a good life by societal standards, in the contemporary period, is something many of us continue to do after leaving christianity and religion behind. 

 

It's a more mature version of morality where you aren't motivated by threats of hell and rewards of heaven. Whereas the christian version is rather immature in scope and depth. 

 

[YouDontNeedToKnow17]

15 hours ago, Joshpantera said:

 

I take it that you are a younger poster?

Yip I'm 16, 17 in May