Thoughts About Self-Acceptance

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

This has been a really difficult couple of years, for sure. I won't go into it in great detail (sorry folks), but I realize after much pain and difficulty that a major theme in my life is self acceptance.

 

I know experiences of eX-Christians here are all different, but I think I speak for ones who have had narcissistic or fundamentalist (or both) parents. When you have a parent you tried to please so hard as a child, and that parent is impossible to please, you start to develop a pattern where you pursue the same kind of self-sacrifice and an obsession to engage in impossible situations. Sometimes this propels you to have a really impressive and interesting career - because you work so much harder than anyone else. Still, at the end of the day, if you continue to internalize the feeling of "nothing is ever good enough" you can never feel fulfilled. No matter how many successes you accrue your life feels like a string of failure. 

 

If you feel this way - you are not alone, you are good enough, and you deserve better.

 

Little treats to yourself, like a tub of icecream, a schedule to the dentist, or a conversation with an old friend you've lost touch of - it's the little things that are really hard. On top of that, being present and accepting of a nice thing you do for yourself is also hard (it's ok don't hate yourself for the calories in the ice cream). It takes a lot of practice, even once you realize what is going on. It takes a lot of practice, but you will get there.

 

This probably sounds vague to some people, but I'm hoping it resonates with someone going through something similar, and that it encourages them!

Open to any thoughts/comments/meditations on the topic of self-acceptance.

-DT