Skipping Christmas

[Guest Emerson]

At our house, I still live with the folks while in college and we have a secular christmas. We don't go to church, mass, or anything like that on christmas eve or christmas. We avoid all the churchy stuff. But we do everything else. Would you ever skip christmas, even the secular christmas stuff?

 

I'm inspired by that John Grisham novel Skipping Christmas and the movie based on it Christmas with the Kranks.

[Lycorth]

I pretty much skipped it this year. I did the secular stuff, though - why shouldn't I have fun on Xmas? After all, it's not like the Xians first introduced it or something.

 

Eventually, I'll celebrate "Mother Night" (Heathen Yule), but that's later in life, when I'm more firm in what I believe. But the Xian Xmas is a thing of the past. Secular Xmas is never out of the question, though I don't go nuts with the objects and schmootz like most people do. The commerciality of the season still sucks to me

[Evelyn]

I think I'll keep the general celebration, as it is secular in origin anyway.

[nirrti]

Christmas for me was never all that religious, even when I was still a Christian. The birth of Jesus was sort of an afterthought I got reminded of at Christmas Eve service. My family dwells on giving gifts, eating dinner, watching boot-leg DVDs(Gotta love my aunt) and the younger ones playing with what "Santa" brought them.

 

We did postpone Christmas celibrations one year due to snow fall and I just spent the day watching TV and playing on the computer since the streets were too iced over for travel.

[Japedo]

On my road to Deconverting, I was looking into and studying Judaism. At the same time I was learning about all the pagan roots/worship in Christianity, which horrified me. We as a family did skip Christmas for a few years. One year was a learning experience as at sunset we lit Hanukah candles, the kids enjoyed that and it was fun! The following xmas we gave gifts but had no tree or anything. This past Christmas though I got a tree, lights decked out the house and went all out, Xmas will be secular and I consider it wonderful family time and will have fun with it for now on.

[godlessgrrl]

I think once my gma passes I probably will skip Xmas.

 

The whole thing just has no meaning for me anymore. It was fun when I was a kid and looked forward to getting gobs of presents, but now it's mostly a pain in the ass. It ends up being either a huge, overwhelming gathering of the clan at my aunt's house, where I couldn't care less about most of the folks there, and it's 50 people all drinking and praying and asking pointless perfunctory questions about stuff in my life that they're going to forget about the next day anyway; or else it's a small, intimate get-together at my parents' house, which my overcontrolling mother micromanages down to the point of trying to dictate who gets to open their presents when and whether or not anybody can actually walk on the expensive carpet they bought this past year.

 

Both are just pain-in-the-ass social gatherings. I've often considered showing up to one or the other of them on mushrooms, but somehow I don't think that'd really enhance the experience (plus it'd be a waste of good 'shrooms!).

 

I seriously think that when my gma passes the spouse and I will start spending Xmas anywhere but home. It's just too shrill and draining.

[narcissist]

I've skipped every christmas since my father beat me up christmas day, 2001. That pretty much put the final nail in the coffin of my xn faith. Nowadays, I'll travel, go for a bushwalk or something.

[willybilly30]

i dont skip it i see it as the pagans seen it as a celebration of winter winch was yule also i spend time with the family and get presents.

[-Demona-]

I see it as a time to spend with family and friends, a Pagan tradition (celebrating the return of the light on the shortest day of the year), and a time for charity to those less fortunate. Think Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", with a Pagan slant.

 

When I have kids someday, I hope to impress upon them the spirit of love and charity for the season. That's the reason I've always loved Christmas; not merely for the presents one gets. It wasn't until a few years ago that I became more acquisitive.

 

But yes, sometimes I do skip Christmas. Lately, I have been, because I haven't yet found something to fill the void that removing midnight services left. I need some bit of "ritual" that really clicks for me.

[loves_learning]

This is always a tough one for me. I personally despise the mass consumerism that plagues this country...and hate the fact that I usually feel obligated to buy a bunch of crap for people I don't really want to spend the money on. I also feel painfully guilty because my mother, who was married to my dirtbag alcoholic father for 25 years, feels the need to make up for the fact that our holidays were always horrific due to my dad getting drunk and mean. He never bought a single gift for her unless I made him do it, and that was a rare occasion. So...anyway, she doesn't have much money, but seriously spends WAAAAY too freakin much on my brother, my partner, and myself. I always tell her that she has to have a $100 limit...but she won't listen. I feel even worse because I do get her a gift, usually something pretty nice, but it is only like one or two things....and she will seriously have like 20 boxes apiece for us! I hate it!

 

But, yea, I've told her that I could give a flip about the gifts and stuff, but I loooove to cook, and would rather spend more money on a super great dinner, wine, dessert, stuff like that. I also hate xmas decor...though I do like wintery decorations. I would personally be quite happy just having dinner and some family time...SMALL family time. I look back on the past and crack up...because I used to insist that we read the xmas story out of the Bible every year...the whole religious factor got inserted into my family's celebrations by none other than yours truly. Now I won't even stay in the room if someone prays. Needless to say...the extended family thinks that I'm crazy.

 

The only thing about the religious part of the holiday I do kind of have a soft spot for is the music and candlelight services (such as midnight mass) in some churches. Nooo, I don't believe in it anymore, but there is just something beautiful about the ritual involved with incense...candles...all in the middle of the night. I'm sure I would still be just as impressed if it were a pagan ritual of some sort (which is where all the stuff came from in the first place...). I hate cheeseball xmas music, but the big classical choral pieces that are sung through the holidays by REAL choirs...oh...it takes my breath away. I suppose that it is because I study religion that I can sympathise with the majesty that people believe is the transcendant OTHER...and to have written such amazing music inspired by that...I dunno.

 

My favorite song of the holidays has to be "O Holy Night" or "Still, still, still." The first one...I mean...the lyrics are just mind boggling. Like I said, I don't believe it is true and haven't for years...but think about it...someone (a long freakin time ago when more accurate info wasn't available) wrote these words about an encounter with the divine...and the way the music builds into the chorus right before the lyric "Fall on your knees....O hear the angel voices"...I can't help but get the goosebumps. Maybe they were doing some fun drugs and was hearing voices? I dunno...but it still gets me every time. Powerful powerful stuff.

[Guest Emerson]

loves_learning, that's cool. I still listen to christian music or CCM but its now empty in meaning. I also like xmas music but that doesn't mean anything. I understand where you're coming from, I love the holidays as well.

[chefranden]

At our house, I still live with the folks while in college and we have a secular christmas. We don't go to church, mass, or anything like that on christmas eve or christmas. We avoid all the churchy stuff. But we do everything else. Would you ever skip christmas, even the secular christmas stuff?

 

I'm inspired by that John Grisham novel Skipping Christmas and the movie based on it Christmas with the Kranks.

 

Absolutely!

 

No Christimas here in any form for 2 years. Scrouge would be proud.

 

Never had a merrier Christimas. I didn't even know it was easter until my friends invited us over for ham.

 

Imagine there's no shopping...

[DucorpsToo]

I usually take the "obligatory trip" to another state to see my parents over Christmas. Other than that, Christmas really doesn't phase me all that much anymore. My husband (who's Muslim ) and I will exchange a gift...and that's about the extent of Christmas. (I do, though, appreciate my workplace holiday party as well as the "winter break" during which my workplace closes for a week and I am able to relax). Be that as it may, I see Christmas as nothing more than a business.

 

(For some reason, I actually like Thanksgiving more than Christmas)

[Amethyst]

I use Christmas as an excuse to visit my relatives. But I could do without it if I had to and save the obligatory gift-giving for birthdays or mother's and father's day, or just another day of the year. All it really does is promote consumerism.

 

Although, I wouldn't mind having a "Solstice" celebration with friends. All you need to believe in for that is that the earth goes around the sun.

[LosingMyReligion]

Even though I no longer believe in Jesus and Babble Gawd...I still love Christmas.

 

It gives me a reason to splurge on myself just because....

 

Even though I'm in my 20's I still put a tree up. I am just into the festivness of it all...lol

[Amethyst]

Oh, I still put a tree up. I have a small one that I decorate. I just enjoy that particular aspect of it.

[Naughtyhamster]

The last ten years Christmas has been more secular for me as my stepgrandpa's side of the family is not religious. We just get together and have dinner and give out presents, or wait until the day after and go shopping for after holiday bargains. Also being so busy with personal stuff and being always sick at that time of the year makes things too stressful for everyone. Last year my mother and I decided not to put up a tree, but not because of any religious objections it's justs as we were sick and my grandmother had to take care of her ill husband ( who died a few weeks ago). I did decorate the house though as I'm thinking this year I might just go without a tree again and concentrate on doing something nice such as working at a soup kitchen or donating toys to a local hospital. I think it's a waste of time putting a tree up rather than doing something constructive such as helping others.

 

Anyway I still listen to Christmas music, especially I have Clay Aiken's Merry Christmas With Love CD. Always playing it at that time of year but it's mostly because he has such a beautiful and unique voice. I do skip any of the overtly religious songs as they sometimes bring back bad memories of when I was an extian. The pictures of Clay in the CD booklet are rather sexy for an extian guy I think. He doesn't understand still that though he keeps his music "clean" us ladies get dirty thoughts in our minds because of those tight jeans he wears in those pictures.

[LosingMyReligion]

A claymate! **shudder!**

 

haha...just kidding.

[The Sage Nabooru]

I'm sick of Christmas altogether. When you're a kid it's a blast, but as an adult it's nothing but an enormous pain. All this fuss and trouble working up to one day, and that one day just isn't the blissful shower of gifts and happiness it used to be.

 

Example:

 

Kid: "OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH IT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! OMIGOD OMIGOD THIS IS AWESOME!!!!! GAAAHHHH!!!"

 

Adult: "Oh, wow. Thanks. This is really nice. I like this a lot. Thanks. Now I won't have to buy it myself."

 

I'll just forgo the whole thing, thanks.

[Guest Emerson]

The Sage, lol you're post cracked me up btw, I agree with you that when you're an adult...xmas just doesn't hold the same charm. I don't know what it is, it just doesn't. I've also began the process of buying myself just whatever the hell I want.

 

I find this to be true about birthdays as well. It used to be cool but now its just, I don't know...not as charming as it used to be when I was a kid and it also reminds me of getting older as each year passes.

[Gnosis of Disbelief]

 

Hmmmm.....where is Mr. Grinch? I was expecting him to make

his obligatory "Bah, humbug!" in this thread.

 

I haven't celebrated xmas in years. It was great when I was a

kid, but as I got older, bad and increasingly worse things started

happening around that holiday, taking the shine off of it. Then

I deconverted and it lost whatever meaning it had for me. So,

for me, it's now just a day off.

[spamandham]

I'm more than happy to skip decorating, putting up a tree, exchanging gifts, taking it all down, etc., but I do enjoy the overall festivities - the lights, the traditional music, the feasts, the parties, etc.

 

This last Christmas, we barely did any decorating, but we still went out of control with gifts.