Holy Hustle snippet #7

[wadori]

"If a man has sex with his father's wife they, also, are both to be put to death.

"If a man has sex with his daughter-in-law kill the both of them.

"If a man has sex with a man, yuck!  Kill the both of them.

"If a man has sex with a Mongolian fruit bat he is to be put to death.

"If a man screws around with both a woman and her mother, kill all three of the suckers.  Start a good fire and burn them to a crisp!

"If a man has sex with an animal, even if it's not a Mongolian fruit bat, you guessed it, kill him!  Ditto for a woman.  While you're at it, kill the animal, too, so it doesn't go around corrupting any more of you.

"If a man marries and has sex with his sister it is wicked.  In this case, though, don't kill them.  Just banish them from their people.  Don't have anything to do with people like that.  Ditto if a man has sex with a woman during her period.  It's okay if it's during his period.

"If a man has sex with a knothole in a sycamore tree, glue his penis in the hole with epoxy.

 

From my book, “Holy Hustle: A Bible Parody, Consisting of All 66 Books of Both the Old and the New Hustles”