Dianka Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Today marks modern Pentecostalism's 100th year in business, and boy is it profitable! Scandals, scams, and lawsuits have granted the movement not just the change left in the collection plate. Assets have been handed over and stolen legally from the herd. But, what do people expect from a religious organization that started in a run-down mansion in LA? The Lord indeed works in mysterious ways. Charles Parahm, the father of Pentecostalism, believed that people held the power to heal others through the gift of the Holy Spirit, and that doctors, medicine, etc. was all of the Devil. Many in Parahm's congregation died of diseases that were easily treatable in a hospital. One of his victims was a nine year old girl who could have been saved easily had she been taken to see a doctor. His healing powers were put to test when his 16 year old son became sick. Instead of coming to his senses, he decided to do what any good Christian would and allowed his son to die. Some years later, another of his son's fell ill and died. Without question, this soldier for the Lord lived his life from bed for many months and suffered until his own death. This family's battle with chronic illness is not much of a portrait of God's good will toward his creation. Given all the bad press, who would have thought that this nutty religion had the ability to spread across the country and abroad? Well, if you can't back up a retarded belief then I guess you haven't lived life to it's fullest. In conclusion, Pentecostalism is a belief that the Holy Spirit will virally latch on to your body and allow you to heal yourself and others. Why then, did all these people die? After all, if it truly is God's will, wouldn't these people live hearty lives and die peacefully? So then why were they hacking phlem and suffering? Cuz fuck 'em, that's why. I will now begin speaking in tongues: *Ahem* Sloopy shabba oy oi leee leee fa fa fa fa fefo fo fo fo (humps wall) BRAAAAAH!!! EEEeecCCCC op oip ka ka ka ka kaw mooooooo..... *Ahem* Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I will now begin speaking in tongues: *Ahem* Sloopy shabba oy oi leee leee fa fa fa fa fefo fo fo fo (humps wall) BRAAAAAH!!! EEEeecCCCC op oip ka ka ka ka kaw mooooooo..... I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but you just agreed to blow Nivek atop a Kia Sedona at high-noon on the White House lawn during Winter. I just thought you should know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 Your translation is faulty my friend. I wasn't agreeing to it, I was recounting the experience. If you were a True Christian you would have caught your mistake. God Bless... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 And you answered just like a typical christian. Typically full of shit... If there was anything that I got wrong in the translation it was probably the make or model of the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirrti Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 That must've been the New Living Translation version of tongues. Now you oughta know better. It's only True Tongues if it's spoken in KJV..... Shecomeinahondaaaaaaa re-re-re-bochabaabaabaablacksheep rideinalincolnnnn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Either way Fwee, it was an awsome GODLY experience for me.. See you were WRONG mouse_bot, deed was done in conning tower of the U-505. Obvious your spirt-guide aint'a telling you the WHOLE TRUTH! (Thanks D.. That was one hellova periscoping!) *whistles "Sailing, sailing, out on the deep blew seas"* kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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