God let down an old friend

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Hey Friends,

 

I was surfing my Facebook last night and came across a post from an old friend from early in my Christian walk. She had just moved and was talking about grilling for the first time at the new house. And I remembered she had just went through a divorce with her husband for 31 years. So I was curious. When did that happen and why? So I scrolled way back in her posts. It looks like it started a little over a year ago. 

 

Everything was normal and then she got hit back to back. Her mother died, two weeks later her sister died,(both of covid) and her husband left her. She didn't give details for the latter. But as I was reading I saw her pouring her heart out to God. First posting memes saying God is in control and will turn things around, God will make it right, God is will intervene, etc etc. And she would post about how her heart was broken and she would have 30-50 plus comments from church friends that were praying for her. (Thats a lot of faithful prayers BTW. Surely atleast one of them had a mustard seed of faith)

 

At this point my heart was breaking for her too. I've been through multiple divorces and non of them were "easy". They are heart wrenching experiences that send you into a spiral of depression and I saw her going through this. All the time pleading to her God. 

 

At some point the memes switched from God is in control and will make it right. To God will get you through the storm, he will give you strength, he is with you during the good times and bad.

 

And now she's posting praise to God for getting her through it. But is obviously still heart broken. 

 

My knee jerk reaction since I've been deconverted so long was to send her a sympathetic message but be real and tell her she's gonna have to be strong and she's a good woman. And that she was stronger than God. And that she needed to move on and date someone else. What I was thinking tho was the old saying. "The fastest way to get over one is to get under another".

 

I was actually typing a PM and stopped. Because this is a woman almost as old as my mom. And the only thing she has left now is her faith in God. I can't put a shadow on that. And she would probably think I was horrible for suggesting she be with another man. So I  just erased the little bit I had wrote and let it be. Hopefully she will meet another man that will treat her well that she can live out her days with. 

 

Anyway, when I was reading her posts and seeing all this unfold. I decided to take a look at his profile. He is now with a much younger woman and from one of the pictures looks like she may be pregnant. Not sure on that one. But she is definitely younger. 

 

If that was why he left her then I'm sure her feeling of self worth is in the dumps right now and will be for a long time. I feel so so sorry for her. This is a couple that I knew for years in the church and to see her have to go through this. Ugh.  It is heart wrenching to see. 

 

And to see her so faithfully pouring her heart out to God for him to intervene. I could only think about our resent threads in the lions den. Especially the suffering for the sins of the world thread. I know this had to shock her faith atleast a little. As I said in one of the other threads. If you truly believe in the promises of God in the bible. It is a big let down. It baffles me now how anyone can still believe after that. Obviously God never does anything (because he's not there). Two of the people you cherish most in your life die and your husband leaves you all within a month. Thats another screwed up Job like situation. But God doesn't do anything.

 

But to the indoctrinated believer God always gets praise. This woman is making it through on her own strength and doesn't even know it. She thinks its God. But if God were real he would have atleast healed her sister. Maybe it was moms time to go. He would have softened her husband's heart toward her and kept them together. But now God is to be praised for bringing her through the suffering and healing her heart.

 

God didn't do a damn thing is what I want to say. 

 

One of her posts was of her daughter and my uncle by marriage singing at church. They have a small time southern gospel group together. He is actually the one that talked to me and his and my aunts house was where I had my "salvation experience".

 

I watched about 20 minutes of it. My uncle is a preacher and it brought back a lot of memories. He preached for a bit between songs like he always does. And I was sitting there thinking. It is like I'm looking inside a bubble at people I've known most of my life now. And for the most part their lives are all really good. Nothing that really shakes them to the core. Incidentally this video she posted was right before she lost everything. Thinking on it now its kinda easy to believe God is doing something in your life when things are going good. Or just normal problems are happening. I know the divorce i went through after one of my wives cheated on me shook my faith. I guess that was one of the early cracks in my Godly armour too. I did the same things this woman did. Prayed for him to intervene. Prayed for him to make a way. Trusted in his promises. And nothing ever happened. It was years before I would understand why God didn't help me or keep my wife at the time faithful. Deconversion really gives you a lot of answers

 

I really feel for this woman. And I'm a little curious what her husbands faith looks like now. I know he is a sheriff. And I've known a lot of officers of the law over the years. And I've had an in depth conversation with one about the emotional toll it take on a person to see some of the things they have to see. He described it as having to turn off a switch. Because an officer can't get emotional during these situations. I'm wondering if everything he saw lead him away from the fold. So he left his wife and met someone else. Or if he met someone else and feel in love. I dunno. I'm more interested in knowing if being an officer made him lose his faith. I don't really care about his love life. For all I know he just wasn't happy anymore with his ex wife. 

 

Moral of the story. 

 

God sucks and the bible lies

 

Sincerely,

Dark Bishop

[TABA]

1 hour ago, DarkBishop said:

At some point the memes switched from God is in control and will make it right. To God will get you through the storm, he will give you strength, he is with you during the good times and bad.

 

I’m very familiar with this process believers go through when it comes to god “helping” them.  First the hope is that he will actually help them, but when things go south anyway the story changes to “god will help you through this”, which is unfalsifiable:  you can see when god fails to bring a woman’s husband back to her, but nobody can show that god isn’t “helping you through this” somehow.   
 

At the end of the day, just the belief that the creator of the universe cares is enough for some people.  Even if it the caring doesn't translate into any action whatsoever.  If I were going through a rough patch, it would help if you as a friend were to call me up to say you care, even if you couldn’t to a damn thing else to help.  The difference is a good friend will do whatever is in his power.  A god who cares but doesn’t act, what’s that worth?  The answer for many people is, it’s worth something.  
 

1 hour ago, DarkBishop said:

My knee jerk reaction since I've been deconverted so long was to send her a sympathetic message but be real and tell her she's gonna have to be strong and she's a good woman. And that she was stronger than God.

It would be good to tell her she’s a good woman and that her own strength will get her through.  But saying anything that casts doubt on God would probably not help at all.  If she ever sees that god is AWOL, she’ll have to see that for herself.  There are none so blind as those that don’t want to see.  

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

2 hours ago, TABA said:

would be good to tell her she’s a good woman and that her own strength will get her through.  But saying anything that casts doubt on God would probably not help at all.  If she ever sees that god is AWOL, she’ll have to see that for herself.  There are none so blind as those that don’t want to see.  

Yeah, I probably should send her a message. I couldn't imagine how heartbroken my mom would be right now if dad were to do something like that. Its one thing to get a divorce. Its another to get a divorce after 31 years of marriage when your around retirement age.