HOW SHOULD I RESPOND?

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Or perhaps I should say, should I respond?  I visited with a cousin last night whom I had not seen in years.  He is almost 80 years old, and recently had major heart surgery.  He has always been a very opinionated Church of Christ member (we both were members) who has been an elder, and has all the answers.  Just as our conversation was ending it came out that I no longer believed.  I needed to leave and briefly explained that I had done a lengthy study of religions and gods and had become agnostic.  He said after a pause, "Oh, I see."  and I left.  

 

Today I texted some childhood pictures to him, and told him I would be glad to give him a copy of an essay I wrote about my reasons for leaving religion, if he was interested.  His reply was,  "Not really.  Thanks anyway".  

 

This has happened with others, and I think I know why, but am only assuming.   He has always been one who was very bold and straight forward about what he thinks, so I thought about texting back and telling him I can only assume why he wasn't interested, and ask if he would explain WHY he wasn't interested.  But with his age and with his health I am having second thoughts.   What do you suggest?

[TABA]

Are you thinking maybe his faith isn’t as robust as he would like?  It’s also possible he would think of any talk whatsoever of Christianity not being true would be sinful in itself. 

Probably safe to assume that the chances of somebody like him actually deconverting at that stage in life would be slim-to-none.  But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to pursue it just a bit further.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

If he isn't interested I'd just let it be. He may not want to get in a religious debate with you about it. 

 

DB

[pantheory]

15 hours ago, Weezer said:

Or perhaps I should say, should I respond?  I visited with a cousin last night whom I had not seen in years.  He is almost 80 years old, and recently had major heart surgery.  He has always been a very opinionated Church of Christ member (we both were members) who has been an elder, and has all the answers.  Just as our conversation was ending it came out that I no longer believed.  I needed to leave and briefly explained that I had done a lengthy study of religions and gods and had become agnostic.  He said after a pause, "Oh, I see."  and I left.  

 

Today I texted some childhood pictures to him, and told him I would be glad to give him a copy of an essay I wrote about my reasons for leaving religion, if he was interested.  His reply was,  "Not really.  Thanks anyway".  

 

This has happened with others, and I think I know why, but am only assuming.   He has always been one who was very bold and straight forward about what he thinks, so I thought about texting back and telling him I can only assume why he wasn't interested, and ask if he would explain WHY he wasn't interested.  But with his age and with his health I am having second thoughts.   What do you suggest?

Hey Weez,

 

I think you should not discuss religion with anybody who is not interested in the discussion. It can go both ways.  Agnostics, like yourself, is a declaration of openmindedness, which we all should be concerning most subjects. But a religious person like your cousin near 80 years old may have devoted their life to religion and don't want to hear that they could be wrong.  Likewise, a confirmed atheist like myself who has studied many denominations of Christianity as well as most-all world religions, view them all as pure BS, no better than Greek Mythology. To me all religions are a laughable joke, totally devoid of logic. If God were somehow real  and came to me physically to explain things, I would not believe my eyes and ears. I would be extremely courteous and respectful to him, write everything down he said to me if I could, But after he left I would check myself into a metal institution for evaluation, show them my notes, and realize that I was a little bit  nuts thereafter. Religion to me is like believing in Santa Clause since its ideas and beliefs are so ridiculous and devoid of logical thinking, and the Bibles of the world can so easily be proven wrong IMHO.

 

So I do listen to people talking religion to me for their sake, knowing they are just trying to help me, but I never try to explain reality to them unless I think they are seriously interested in my views. I have had a close friend for more than 40 years now. He is a fairly serious church going Christian. But he quickly stopped talking to me about religion after we became friends because all he heard from me were my unrelated stories of fornication which he liked to hear, where he said that I am surely going to hell. And then I say, ain't that great !

 

So for your cousin and all other religious folk like him,  keep them as close friends if you like them, but don't try to explain your beliefs or convince them of anything IMO unless you honestly believe they are interested in your input, and that the "truth" will somehow reality help them.

[midniterider]

On 1/3/2023 at 8:24 PM, Weezer said:

Or perhaps I should say, should I respond?  I visited with a cousin last night whom I had not seen in years.  He is almost 80 years old, and recently had major heart surgery.  He has always been a very opinionated Church of Christ member (we both were members) who has been an elder, and has all the answers.  Just as our conversation was ending it came out that I no longer believed.  I needed to leave and briefly explained that I had done a lengthy study of religions and gods and had become agnostic.  He said after a pause, "Oh, I see."  and I left.  

 

Today I texted some childhood pictures to him, and told him I would be glad to give him a copy of an essay I wrote about my reasons for leaving religion, if he was interested.  His reply was,  "Not really.  Thanks anyway".  

 

This has happened with others, and I think I know why, but am only assuming.   He has always been one who was very bold and straight forward about what he thinks, so I thought about texting back and telling him I can only assume why he wasn't interested, and ask if he would explain WHY he wasn't interested.  But with his age and with his health I am having second thoughts.   What do you suggest?

 

If he doesn't want to hear it then don't bother him with it.