mick Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Stayed home from church today with my youngest child while wife and 2 older went to church. My brain has been programmed to believe such awful things. Thinking we are totally depraved and horrible is such an awful awful fact of Christianity. It is so amazing to me that Christians don't often think "what the hell am I believing here"? I guess many probably are thinking these doubts in their heads. I have been brain washed to think that since we are totally and utterly depraved, it is only through an indwelling of the holy spirit that we are able to be loving, or have worth. Xtians actually believe that the non-believers' love for their children, or charity is all just filthy rags. This is ghastly. However, my own brain can't shake it for myself. (I honestly never thought bad about others who do not believe though. For some reason I always applied the negatives toward myself) I looked at myself in the mirror as a Christain, and I though "sinner", "jerk", "how could God love you anyway" I look in myself in the mirror now and think "apostate" "un-believer", etc. Even though I know it is imaginary. There is no Holy Spirit. People can be very loving or very mean regardless of their beliefs. There is no indwelling of the Holy Spirirt making someone born again and hence able to actually love. Their is no sinful nature. I have my good moments though. And they are produced by logic and proper use of my brain. Best wishes to all of you. It is amazing how I now feel like I actually care more about people. I feel motivated to love, be kind, etc. Christians are amzingly indifferent about those they believe are "lost". "They deserve it", etc. Some are actually excited about what they think is coming for the unbeliever. The wish they could watch, you know. WTF? Ironically I must forgive them. It is not totally their fault. Though I must admit, I think there might be something unique about those of us that are able to become former evangelicals. I have recently communicated with a life long Xtian friend from college who has come to doubt everything. He simply is choosing to believe a very liberal form of the faith. He said openly that he does not think he has the courage to walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 It is amazing how I now feel like I actually care more about people. I feel motivated to love, be kind, etc. It is amazing how removed the god-to-person-to-god-to-person-to-god relationship feels once you've experienced caring for people person-to-person. Sounds to me like you're doing really well with it all, Mick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insomniac Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 i agree. once you are no longer a >>righteous vessel of god<< so to speak, you can finally relate to others in a truthful manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Mick, I actually get a bit teary eyed, seeing that you have come to the freedom. I'm seriously happy for you. And it's kind of strange how I can feel an emotional happiness when people come out and see religion for what it is. The same kind of feelings I could have when people got "born again" in my old days. So I know that those feelings are not from above, but from me, in both cases. I liked what you said : "Their is no sinful nature." That is so true, and it's like have been stated many times before, religion invents a concept of sin that we all have to be saved from, and then it invents the method how one becomes saved. It's a snake oil medicine that cures the fake disease no one has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 I agree with Han Solo. Mick your post almost made me tear up...lol. That is how I feel now. Life is so much more beautiful and richer. And it is simply because I have a greater respect for all of my fellow human beings. I realize now that I am no better than anyone. There is no malevolent god who picked me out as his favorite just so he could torcher the rest. It all comes down to giving and receiving love. And I don't know what is amoral or depraved about that. We aren't enemies at all. We're just friends that haven't been properly aquainted. Hang in there. I know it is hard being around devout christians. But in the end its worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Though I must admit, I think there might be something unique about those of us that are able to become former evangelicals. I have recently communicated with a life long Xtian friend from college who has come to doubt everything. He simply is choosing to believe a very liberal form of the faith. He said openly that he does not think he has the courage to walk away. As a former evangelical, I can agree with your statement; there is something about us that helped us break away. It took me a long while to pry myself totally from the faith. I spent several years thinking that my dissatisfaction was due to not finding the "real thing" or "true Christianity", and was just fishing around, looking at different churches and teachings, etc. I eventually realized it was all guesswork, and figured I could have more success in life on my own rather than with the church. Most people are probably like your friend, they either don't want to give it all up "just in case", or still believe but do the cherry-picking routine and come up with a more kinder, gentler version of the faith so that they don't have to deal with cognitive dissonance created by evangelicalism, fundamentalism, and literalism. That's probably what it's actually all about; we were able to stare down cognitive dissonance, and set ourselves free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 HI Mick! Welcome to freedom..freedom to think, feel, love and hate at your choosing. Yes, hate too. The freedom to love though..that's the best. Those people who were "off limits", that you needed to be "seperate" from? They are some of the most wonderful people in the world. So again..welcome to freedom.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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