So I've Taken Some Time To Reflect...

[Casualfanboy16]

This post may be slightly jumbled, because I only just recently put this into thought, but I never realized how Christianity really skewed certain things about my worldview. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like if I didn't leave the faith I would've embraced nihilism. What I mean is, I didn't really care about this world all that much despite everything going on in it. I thought I did at the time, but looking back, my worldview was a lot more nihilistic and pessimistic than I would've liked to admit. I thought the Earth was just my temporary home, and Heaven was my eternal home. The Earth was just a thing that existed and I was looking forward to dying so that I could get my hands on that eternal reward so I wouldn't ever have to suffer through the world's hardships and challenges again. I was excited to die, which is really strange and also horrifying. I still cared about people, but sometimes my mind would entertain the thought of just leaving this all behind and living in kumbaya in Heaven for all eternity. 

 

Looking back now, I'm ashamed of that. Even though I still cared for others, it still felt like other times I was only really interested in the eternal aspect of it, for the chance of not suffering in this world or the next one. Now that the grip of eternal salvation/damnation is starting to loosen, there's something more to appreciate about life. I've read a few posts here of people like kinda feeling like they lost something, like the eternity in Heaven and such; but for me, I feel like I gained something new. Life is short, precious and beautiful. I still can't say some of the old feelings are completely gone yet, but something feels like it's changing. I've gained a new appreciation for this world and the people in it without all this eternity mumbo jumbo. Now that I'm starting to realize that this is the only life I have, I don't feel scared as much anymore for some stupid eternal consequences for my finite actions. Is it completely gone? Not yet, but I feel like this is the start of something beautiful.

[TABA]

There is nothing jumbled about your post, @Casualfanboy16 - you write well!   

 

I have to tell you your post made my day!  That's no exaggeration, I swear.  I'm happy because I can see that you're a smart young guy with a cool head on his shoulders, and you have a healthy approach to deconversion.  You're understanding things that often only come slowly to people in your situation.  You understand that deconverison is a process, you know there are things to avoid and things to seek out during this time, and you are well able to express why you are going down this path.  I've seen a few people go through the deconversion process over the past few years, and you have the hallmarks of somebody who will have a successful, full and above all happy deconversion.  It won't be 100% plain sailing, I think you know.  Sometimes fear will sneak up on you and shake you up for a bit.  That's when everything you've learned - and the people of this community - will be there to help you ride it through and come out the other side stronger.

 

So I'm happy that you're heading in a good direction.  I'm happy that you feel welcome in this community.  And I am really enjoying starting to get to know you from your posts.  I think you've found a place that fits you well and that will be made better by your presence.

 

Again, welcome, and congratulations on the progress you've made!

 

Best Regards

'TABA'

[Casualfanboy16]

48 minutes ago, TABA said:

There is nothing jumbled about your post, @Casualfanboy16 - you write well!   

 

I have to tell you your post made my day!  That's no exaggeration, I swear.  I'm happy because I can see that you're a smart young guy with a cool head on his shoulders, and you have a healthy approach to deconversion.  You're understanding things that often only come slowly to people in your situation.  You understand that deconverison is a process, you know there are things to avoid and things to seek out during this time, and you are well able to express why you are going down this path.  I've seen a few people go through the deconversion process over the past few years, and you have the hallmarks of somebody who will have a successful, full and above all happy deconversion.  It won't be 100% plain sailing, I think you know.  Sometimes fear will sneak up on you and shake you up for a bit.  That's when everything you've learned - and the people of this community - will be there to help you ride it through and come out the other side stronger.

 

So I'm happy that you're heading in a good direction.  I'm happy that you feel welcome in this community.  And I am really enjoying starting to get to know you from your posts.  I think you've found a place that fits you well and that will be made better by your presence.

 

Again, welcome, and congratulations on the progress you've made!

 

Best Regards

'TABA'

 

Aww this is such a nice message!!  Normally when it comes to expressing things in real life I'm not very good at getting the point across or the right words to say, so I often feel dumb because what's in my head doesn't always come out my mouth the way I want it to. Like, the words are there, but they come out wrong and I don't feel as well-articulated like I do here on the internet because processing what I'm going to say takes longer in certain conversations (especially religion and other controversial topics) because I don't want to piss somebody off and I want to be polite even if their viewpoint is totally opposite of mine (even though sometimes being polite doesn't work and I don't know like being polite when people tell you your "lifestyle" is a sin is so difficult anymore).

 

As for deconversion, I'm glad to know I'm heading on the right track. Yeah, I have a long road ahead, but I'm glad people have faith in me here and believe I can do well. Also, I'm glad to know you're enjoying me being here! Usually it's really hard for me to take compliments, but really I appreciate your kind words (and everyone else's). I'm glad I found this place and I can't wait to get to a point where things start really looking up, but I must take it one step at a time.

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

 

[TABA]

Wow Prof, that’s an Oldie but Goodie from the archives!  I wish everybody could appreciate the little everyday  things as much. 
 

 

[Casualfanboy16]

3 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

 

That is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Just appreciating everything, experiencing everything. Just living. It's beautiful. Sometimes I take life for granted and forget how precious it is. It's good that you wrote this. It kinda serves as a reminder how beautiful the smallest things can be and you really captured the joy of living in that. I need to save this somewhere so I can go back to it from time to time.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Aw, shucks.

[Casualfanboy16]

1 minute ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

Aw, shucks.

 

I saved it in my notes app. It's staying there forever! Thanks for typing it up. I needed this!

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Glad I could help. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

This entire thread has brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you Casual for starting it.

[Casualfanboy16]

5 hours ago, Weezer said:

This entire thread has brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you Casual for starting it.

 

Wow! You're welcome!! I didn't expect people would love this so much, but I'm glad I'm making some kind of impact. I don't know what to say. Y'all are so cool. When I first joined I was super nervous, but I'm glad people here are enjoying my posts. I'm happy that people like me sticking around and my posts are moving to people one way or another.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

 

Wow! You're welcome!! I didn't expect people would love this so much,

 

 

According to christians we are supposed to be a bunch of uncaring, hard hearted savages, aren't we!  We appreciate life on earth even more because we believe this is all you are gonna get.  And that all life is interrelated, so we better take care of it.

[Casualfanboy16]

47 minutes ago, Weezer said:

 

According to christians we are supposed to be a bunch of uncaring, hard hearted savages, aren't we!  We appreciate life on earth even more because we believe this is all you are gonna get.  And that all life is interrelated, so we better take care of it.

 

Exactly. I don't know why some Christians think this. It's like they think without god you are an immoral person. I've always been annoyed when Christians imply that without god you can't be moral, kind, caring, compassionate, etc. Like there are kind people everywhere regardless of religion, race, gender, etc. It doesn't matter wether you follow a god or not. Being a truly kind person isn't limited to Christianity or any other religion. Anyone can be kind. Especially in the world with everything I see happening around me, being kind goes a long way. I know it can't fix everything, but kindness and compassion and all this stuff is just so important anymore. No matter what you believe, kindness is a wonderful thing.