How Do I Stop Hyperfixating On Christian Stuff?

[Casualfanboy16]

I genuinely can't stop thinking about it all the time. Between the rapture, hell, demons, eternity, etc. I feel like I'm going crazy just being around my family. When they discussed spiritual warfare stuff this morning I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it. I can't stay rational and calm. I feel like I'm spiraling again. Help.

[TABA]

11 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I feel like I'm going crazy just being around my family. When they discussed spiritual warfare stuff this morning I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I suggest you’re not the crazy one here…

 

I don’t know if this helps, but I’ve noticed with people experiencing anxiety like this that it often just resolves itself during the course of the day.  This too shall pass . . . truly. 
 

For the longer term, you’re going to have to get out from under their roof.  Being an independent adult in general - and getting away from this religious burden - requires it.  The challenge is how to make a living so you can pay for rent, food and transportation.  There are some options.  I don’t want to burden you now while you’re feeling so anxious, but it’s something we should discuss when you are feeling somewhat calmer.  

[Casualfanboy16]

4 hours ago, TABA said:

I suggest you’re not the crazy one here…

 

I don’t know if this helps, but I’ve noticed with people experiencing anxiety like this that it often just resolves itself during the course of the day.  This too shall pass . . . truly. 
 

For the longer term, you’re going to have to get out from under their roof.  Being an independent adult in general - and getting away from this religious burden - requires it.  The challenge is how to make a living so you can pay for rent, food and transportation.  There are some options.  I don’t want to burden you now while you’re feeling so anxious, but it’s something we should discuss when you are feeling somewhat calmer.  

 

Yeah I noticed my anxiety passed throughout the day. I just tried some mindfulness stuff to get me more grounded in reality. I'm still getting used to it though. It's just stressful anymore hearing anything Christian-related being brought up from them. I know it's their religious beliefs and I don't want to be disrespectful or anything towards them. I'm just getting too anxious even hearing the topic. It's impossible to get into a grounded state of mind when Christianity is everywhere at home, then of course my family was discussing spiritual warfare and stuff on like yesterday and this morning. On the bright side, I've only seen one Christian-related thing on this trip, so I don't feel like it's following me lmao.

 

As for being independent, that's still a work in progress. I'm considering finding an apartment for rent out of state, or at least far from the more Conservative Christian part of my state and into a more LGBT-friendly area. I'm considering honing my skills to improve my art and writing abilities, but that'll take time. I might just have to find a higher-paying job some place and do art/writing as a side hustle or something once I get better; or consider college as an option too even if I'm a bit stubborn because of the costs lol. It's a lot to think about.

[TABA]

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I'm considering finding an apartment for rent out of state, or at least far from the more Conservative Christian part of my state and into a more LGBT-friendly area.

I think you’d find any of the college towns in your state to be a breath of fresh air.  I know you don’t care for big cities but a 10-20 mile radius of the bigger cities can encompass diverse populations and still give you easy access to the great outdoors.  
 

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I'm considering honing my skills to improve my art and writing abilities, but that'll take time. I might just have to find a higher-paying job some place and do art/writing as a side hustle or something once I get better; or consider college as an option too

You may end up making a living from art and writing eventually, but there are a lot of other skills that are in demand and that pay pretty well, and which you can learn in community colleges all over the place.  Bachelors degrees are often touted as a minimum to make a decent living but I disagree - and many expensive 4 year degrees are useless for earning a decent wage.  
 

Finally, do think about a 3-year enlistment in the military, even if you have no desire to be a warrior.  The Navy or Air Force in particular (and I say that as an Army guy) can teach you skills - at taxpayer expense, you’re welcome! - that transfer to good civilian jobs.  Plus you get to see some of the world, you meet people from all over and maybe make some life-long friends.  

[Casualfanboy16]

3 hours ago, TABA said:

I think you’d find any of the college towns in your state to be a breath of fresh air.  I know you don’t care for big cities but a 10-20 mile radius of the bigger cities can encompass diverse populations and still give you easy access to the great outdoors.  

This is something I'm greatly considering. I'm gonna do some more research on college towns around here eventually. The further away from Amish and overly Christian places the better lmao. Not to mention a higher chance of lgbt populations! More gay guy friends would be great and a college town just might do it! Not to mention less chances of homophobic people (probably). Also, as long as I'm close to the great outdoors, I couldn't complain.

 

3 hours ago, TABA said:

You may end up making a living from art and writing eventually, but there are a lot of other skills that are in demand and that pay pretty well, and which you can learn in community colleges all over the place.  Bachelors degrees are often touted as a minimum to make a decent living but I disagree - and many expensive 4 year degrees are useless for earning a decent wage.  

Community college was something I was considering as well. I heard it's on the smaller side in terms of class size, which is kind of a bonus for me since that's what I'm used to, (I graduated with 4 other people from high school) so I call that a win. I can handle smaller class sizes. I'm rather shy at first, but I get used to people overtime. I remember going to take a tour of some small community college as a high school trip sort of thing. Me and two other friends went to check out the art class. I found it fun, so I'll keep community college as an option in mind despite my hesitation with costs and such.

 

3 hours ago, TABA said:

Finally, do think about a 3-year enlistment in the military, even if you have no desire to be a warrior.  The Navy or Air Force in particular (and I say that as an Army guy) can teach you skills - at taxpayer expense, you’re welcome! - that transfer to good civilian jobs.  Plus you get to see some of the world, you meet people from all over and maybe make some life-long friends.  

I mean, the problem for me is I'm waaaaay too much of a pacifist to be a warrior. If there were other things that I could do that didn't involve me being put on the battlefield or involved in war efforts, then maybe I would consider. I'm too much of a wimp to want to go to war, sorry. Even with the benefits, I'm saving it as like a Plan C (or maybe D or like... Z lmao). Yeah I'm sorry I really really don't want to consider that an option. I know I've been recommended that like twice by now, but I'm not military material. I'm not saying that because I'm being down on myself, I'm just being honest. I'm not into it at all. Sorry. I feel kinda bad for turning the option down, but it's not something I would do personally.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

 

I mean, the problem for me is I'm waaaaay too much of a pacifist to be a warrior. If there were other things that I could do that didn't involve me being put on the battlefield or involved in war efforts, then maybe I would consider.

 

I was in the Air Force 4 years and all I ever did was work on equipment in motor pool, and helped sheetrock a dinning hall once.  And pulled KP a few times.  It actually was fun after basic training.   But the basic training can be rough on someone who isn't used to being yelled and cursed at, and ordered to do things like 50 push ups, or get down and duck walk in front of a group of people because you rolled your eyes at something.  Or being ordered to jump in the air as high as you can.  Then chewed out for coming back down to the ground without being ordered to do so.  You have to realize it is just part of the training, and not take it personal.

[Casualfanboy16]

6 hours ago, Weezer said:

I was in the Air Force 4 years and all I ever did was work on equipment in motor pool, and helped sheetrock a dinning hall once.  And pulled KP a few times.  It actually was fun after basic training.   But the basic training can be rough on someone who isn't used to being yelled and cursed at, and ordered to do things like 50 push ups, or get down and duck walk in front of a group of people because you rolled your eyes at something.  Or being ordered to jump in the air as high as you can.  Then chewed out for coming back down to the ground without being ordered to do so.  You have to realize it is just part of the training, and not take it personal.

Yeah that's something I was also worried about. I don't do well at being chewed out or cursed at. My anxiety is bad enough and I'm a complete perfectionist so I would get so fed up with being imperfect I would probably go to great lengths to achieve that.

 

Not to mention I'm not to keen on witnessing the horrors of war if it did come to a point where I had to do it. I already had extremely fucked up vivid daydreams of being drafted to serve in a potential WW3 because all the Revelation end times shit I heard my parents bringing up because some stupid TV preacher they listen to talked about China and Russia coming together in the end times and taking over the world. I don't need those things to become a reality and witness the bloody horrors of war. If I detailed even half of what I thought about in vivid enough detail I think everyone here would be concerned for me even more loooool.

 

Edit: Okay I'm just going to be 1000% honest. No amount of talk about joining the military will ever convince me that I want to do it. Sorry. I know. I'm a chicken (I'd say worse, I'm just trying to be less critical on myself lol). I just really don't feel like that's going to be a good option for me. It's just not at all something I'm interested in pursuing. I don't want to sound like I'm brushing off suggestions. Again, I'm sorry. It's just not something I want to go into.

[TABA]

9 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I'll keep community college as an option in mind despite my hesitation with costs and such.

Are your parents willing to help you pay for school?  I would think they’d want you to be able to support yourself.   Unless maintaining control over you is more important.  

[Casualfanboy16]

Just now, TABA said:

Are your parents willing to help you pay for school?  I would think they’d want you to be able to support yourself.   Unless maintaining control over you is more important.  

Nah I think they'd be willing to help pay. They aren't that controlling, thank god.

[Casualfanboy16]

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Nah I think they'd be willing to help pay. They aren't that controlling, thank god.

I could go into college for writing and art. Not sure the specific thing I'd pick. I used to be into animation, but illustrating comics would probably be easier because animation is a whole different animal. Animation would have to be something I would do on my own time. Get more into drawing and writing for comic stuff, then tackle animation later when I get confident enough with my artist/writing abilities. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Have you checked to see what the market is for illustrating comics?   There may be a lot of competition in that area, and you might need to take a related job and work your way up to that.  But that is something I know little about.  The college could likely fill you in on the possibilities.  It definitely sounds like something worth looking into!

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, Weezer said:

Have you checked to see what the market is for illustrating comics?   There may be a lot of competition in that area, and you might need to take a related job and work your way up to that.  But that is something I know little about.  The college could likely fill you in on the possibilities.  It definitely sounds like something worth looking into!

I actually haven't. It's been a while since I actually drew anything, (last year ) but I'm planning on getting back into it after vacation. I'm definitely going to look into it more. So many possibilities!