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Goodbye Jesus

Stupid church signs


DarkBishop

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I saw a church sign today that was just ridiculous and thought I would start a thread for stupid church sign sayings. The one I saw said. 

 

"Even Misquitos know that there is power in the Blood ".

 

DB

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27 minutes ago, DarkBishop said:

I saw a church sign today that was just ridiculous and thought I would start a thread for stupid church sign sayings. The one I saw said. 

 

"Even Misquitos know that there is power in the Blood ".

 

DB

I'm scouring the internet for some. We don't have too many interesting church signs here. Here's some I found thus far. Some of these are just... something. That's for sure.

 

"A 4-inch tounge can bring a 6 foot man to his knees".

 

"Too hot to keep changing sign. Sin bad, Jesus good. Details inside".

 

"The most powerful position is on your knees".

 

"Because I'm all about that grace, 'bout that grace no devil".

 

"Easter comes once a year. How often do you"?

 

"God's last name isn't 'damn'".

 

And lastly...

 

"The best gift a mother can give is time spent on her knees".

 

I'm beginning to notice a recurring theme with some of these 💀

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54 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

 

"Easter comes once a year. How often do you"?

 

I'm beginning to notice a recurring theme with some of these 💀

 

And some hilarious double meanings!

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8 minutes ago, Weezer said:

And some hilarious double meanings!

It was the first one for me, honestly. Although I don't think that's a double meaning. Or is it?

 

Edit: I mean, I know the inappropriate meaning, but the religious meaning???

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"Adultery is sin.  You can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

 

I mean, they at least tried for a dad joke.

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15 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

"Adultery is sin.  You can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

 

I mean, they at least tried for a dad joke.

I'll give them 1 point for at least trying for a Dad joke. I would say they kinda nailed it, but I don't think they would appreciate that joke. Doesn't cross me as something the church would appreciate.

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2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

The best gift a mother can give is time spent on her knees

I know I enjoyed it when all.my kids moms were on their knees lmao 🤣 😂 😆 

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4 minutes ago, DarkBishop said:

I know I enjoyed it when all.my kids moms were on their knees lmao 🤣😂😆 

And one day I'll be on my knees, but not for servicing Jesus. 😇

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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

Is it possible to be biologically an adult but identify as an adultress?

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On 9/3/2023 at 11:08 AM, Casualfanboy16 said:

"God's last name isn't 'damn'"

We all know God's name is Harold...  it's in the prayer "Our Father, which art in heaven, Harold be thy name..."  :P

 

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12 hours ago, Wertbag said:

We all know God's name is Harold

Gettin' on my knees for Harold. Can't wait to service him! 😇💒✝️🍆

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Okay, some more stupid church signs I found...

 

"Sin burn is prevented by son screen".

 

"Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help".

 

"Real friends don't rub it in they rub it out".

 

"Forgiveness is swallowing when you want to spit".

 

"Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body".

 

"You can't enter Heaven unless Jesus enters you".

 

"Behold! I come quickly! -Jesus".

 

"Is the Lord your daddy?" 

 

"Bored? Try a missionary position".

 

"Be salt and light. Not salty and lit".

 

And finally...

 

"Sunday's message: Jesus said, bring me that ass".

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  • 2 weeks later...

There is a church in town that has had a sign up all summer that read. God is here every week this summer. 

 

So does that mean after this saturday they can start drinking and fornication again since God will be leaving when Autumn starts?

 

Lmao 🤣 

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15 minutes ago, DarkBishop said:

So does that mean after this saturday they can start drinking and fornication again since God will be leaving when Autumn starts?

What if they commit the sin of pride too? Although, that'll come before the Fall.

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