Today's Therapy Followup

[AnonSan]

I just out of my therapist session today and all went well. My therapist complimented me on how well my husband handled the stupid phone call/coffee bait trap with Derek as well as my realization afterwards. The realization was that the peers from my former church no longer had the authoritarian power over me when I was a minor with little say and had to obey everyone who was older than me. The reality I experienced as a teen was much different than present time, seeing that my past experiences were inflated due to fear and discouragement from bringing up any criticism against the church system.

 

However, I sometimes kick myself for not pursuing more opportunities during that time because I prioritized meeting with the church the first 2 years in college instead of figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise; however, I stopped just in time from jeopardizing my relationships who remain close and supportive of me to this day. Better to start living under my own terms later than to never happen at all seems to be my current mantra in pressing through my lifelong journey of ups and downs. 

 

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

In case nobody else has told you this lately: I'm absolutely proud of you, little sister.  You're taking steps I could have never dreamed of at your age; and you are putting your own mental/emotional health in the driver's seat where it belongs.  You are courageous, strong, and driven.  I know you are going to achieve great things in your marriage, career, and future.  

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

 

1 hour ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

In case nobody else has told you this lately: I'm absolutely proud of you, little sister.  You're taking steps I could have never dreamed of at your age; and you are putting your own mental/emotional health in the driver's seat where it belongs.  You are courageous, strong, and driven.  I know you are going to achieve great things in your marriage, career, and future.  

That says it all! 

[older]

7 hours ago, AnonSan said:

However, I sometimes kick myself for not pursuing more opportunities during that time because I prioritized meeting with the church the first 2 years in college instead of figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise; however, I stopped just in time from jeopardizing my relationships who remain close and supportive of me to this day. Better to start living under my own terms later than to never happen at all seems to be my current mantra in pressing through my lifelong journey of ups and downs.

  

Something to think about: While the passage through it was tough, was there anything about it that ended up being of value? Is it possible that these experiences have made you a stronger person than you would have been without them? Have you learned important things that you might not have if it had not been this way?

[◊ Weezer ◊]

20 hours ago, AnonSan said:

 

However, I sometimes kick myself for not pursuing more opportunities during that time because I prioritized meeting with the church the first 2 years in college instead of figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise; 

 

No need to kick yourself.  Your early conditioning from family and church squelched thinking for yourself.  It took courage and fortitude to overcome, and you did a beautiful job of it.  

[♦ Fuego ♦]

On 11/27/2023 at 12:43 PM, AnonSan said:

However, I sometimes kick myself for not pursuing more opportunities during that time because I prioritized meeting with the church the first 2 years in college instead of figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise

 

I've done that SO much in recent years. I'm nearing retirement age and look back at all the magic thinking that promised that God would provide as he does for the birds and flowers of the field. Believers won't allow themselves to recognize that there is no one providing for the birds (outside of people with bird feeders). They work their feathery asses off gathering food, building nests, raising young, avoiding predators, etc. I had no long term plans because I was told I didn't need them. I believed a lot of lies. I do what I can now to prep for the remaining 20-30 years, but it's far more difficult now. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

38 minutes ago, Fuego said:

 

I've done that SO much in recent years. I'm nearing retirement age and look back at all the magic thinking that promised that God would provide as he does for the birds and flowers of the field. Believers won't allow themselves to recognize that there is no one providing for the birds (outside of people with bird feeders). They work their feathery asses off gathering food, building nests, raising young, avoiding predators, etc. I had no long term plans because I was told I didn't need them. I believed a lot of lies. I do what I can now to prep for the remaining 20-30 years, but it's far more difficult now. 

Man, I hear every word you're saying here.  I never prepared for the future, either; because "god had a plan."  Then suddenly one day I woke up with no groceries, rent due, and the electric company threatening to shut my power off for non-payment.  Whatever god's "plan" was, it wasn't working out in the real world.

 

I struggled through my 20s trying to keep body and soul attached to one another and a roof over my head.  Then scrambled through my 30s to get an education I could actually use to build a career I was already a decade late starting.  All because "god's plan" turned out to be just another empty promise of religion. 

 

I'm in a relatively comfortable place now.  But I'll probably never achieve the financial security I could have had.  And I know I'll never be able to go as far in life as I might have done.  Still, I've learned to measure success in terms of happiness, contentment, positive contributions in the lives of others, and the amount of love and light I can both give and receive.  In that regard, I'm as successful as I could hope to be.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

14 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I've learned to measure success in terms of happiness, contentment, positive contributions in the lives of others, and the amount of love and light I can both give and receive.  In that regard, I'm as successful as I could hope to be.

in my way of thinking, that is success!